AFC North Week 2 Prediction Thread

[*PhilHos*]

After going a perfect 3-0 with last week's predictions (don't bother looking it up; just trust me like you would [insert current presidential hopeful that you plan to vote for]), it's time to get next week's consider 2 of our beloved AFCN team's are playing this Thursday.

But before we get to the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, let's look in on the Steelers and Ravens games as they will actually be playing NFL teams this week and not Jr Varsity teams like yesterday or the day before.

Broncos at Steelers
DEN 99 PIT 5

I didn't watch the Pit-NYG game, but from the highlights alone I could tell that the Steelers benefitted greatly from the refs. Ben seems to be back to form of trying to dodge all the defenders but still getting sacked and that only gets worse as he goes against Denver's DL made up of guys like RDE and LDE and the other guys, too. Denver puts on an offensive clinic because after getting sacked for the 10th time and fumbling for the 5th time in the first 8 minutes of the game, Ben pulls a Randy Bullock (who interestingly enough pulled a Ben Roethlisberger on Sunday) and pretends to be injured so he can go to the stands and sexually harass the hot sideline report for CBS. Pitt does get a safety because the Broncos take a knee in the end zone in the 4th QTR to end the game.

Ravens at Texans
BAL 17 HOU 10

The Texans groaned audibly when they saw the schedule and went from the top offense week 1 to the top rushing offense week 2. Only reason the score is so close because Lamar insists on trying to pass the ball. The Texans are no Browns so Lamar looks more like his old self. Lamar does linger on the ground after a particularly vicious hit but the injury was just to his throwing arm so he stays in the game.

Now onto the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK:
Bengals at Browns
CIN 28 CLE 10

Both teams sucked in week 1 but Cincinnati's defense kept them in the game 'til the end and Burrow almost won the game in the 4th QTR and this was against a team that's CLEARLY better than the ones the Ravens or Steelers faced in Week 1. Cleveland is starting to realize that they would have been better off to not to have been given a franchise after their last franchise moved to Baltimore. But, to their credit, they realize getting paid millions of dollars to lose is still better than being a Steeler fan. So, they do their best which is, of course, not even close to good enough. The Bengal offense explodes against the Browns and Baker helps the Bengal defense by trying to outduel Joe Burrow but doesn't realize he could barely outduel Ryan Leaf (and I'm not talking about 1998 Ryan Leaf but 2020 Ryan Leaf).

Those are my predictions. To quote the eloquent Baker Mayfield, "What you got?"

[Bmore Birds]

Ravens at Texans
BAL 17 HOU 10

The Texans groaned audibly when they saw the schedule and went from the top offense week 1 to the top rushing offense week 2. Only reason the score is so close because Lamar insists on trying to pass the ball. The Texans are no Browns so Lamar looks more like his old self. Lamar does linger on the ground after a particularly vicious hit but the injury was just to his throwing arm so he stays in the game.

*Lamar is a close personal friend of mine even though I'm a middle aged dude from the city/county line. Don't make me tell on you, I'll do it I swear. If the Lamar jokes get any worse I'll call Yanda, maybe even Ray Lewis or Ray Rice. We'll bring The Wire to you. Like Snoop Dogg said "It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none"

[Bmore Birds]

Bengals 27-17.
Steelers 20-17
Ravens 33-13

[*PhilHos*]

(09-15-2020, 01:53 PM)Bmore Birds Wrote: Ravens at Texans
BAL 17 HOU 10

The Texans groaned audibly when they saw the schedule and went from the top offense week 1 to the top rushing offense week 2. Only reason the score is so close because Lamar insists on trying to pass the ball. The Texans are no Browns so Lamar looks more like his old self. Lamar does linger on the ground after a particularly vicious hit but the injury was just to his throwing arm so he stays in the game.

*Lamar is a close personal friend of mine even though I'm a middle aged dude from the city/county line. Don't make me tell on you, I'll do it I swear. If the Lamar jokes get any worse I'll call Yanda, maybe even Ray Lewis or Ray Rice. We'll bring The Wire to you. Like Snoop Dogg said "It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none"

You tell Lamar that Rhonda Rousey is a close personal friend of mine and she'll kick all youse guyses asses. 

[Dill]

(09-15-2020, 02:47 PM)PhilHos Wrote: You tell Lamar that Rhonda Rousey is a close personal friend of mine and she'll kick all youse guyses asses. 

Steelers 27    Denver 19


Bengals 15    Browns 13


Ravens 25   Texans  17

Tell Rhonda that Becky Lynch is a close personal friend of mine.

[*PhilHos*]

(09-15-2020, 07:59 PM)Dill Wrote: Tell Rhonda that Becky Lynch is a close personal friend of mine.

No effin' way! I'd rather shout 'White Power' in at a BLM protest before I'd mention Becky Lynch to Rhonda.