07-04-2022, 11:22 AM
This is the first of many installments that various board members have volunteered to perform in the slowest news month of the year.
I chose the steelers because, well, I hate them and can't pass up the chance to insult them. In all seriousness, I tried to remain at least a little objective.
Moves in Free Agency:
1.) Mitchell "Mr.Biscuit" Trubisky- I actually think this was a really solid signing for them. He won in Chicago (but not enough for their horrible coach) and actually has more wins than DeShawn Watson, and they came out in the same class. Think about that. He gives them a mobility dimension at QB they haven't seen since a 300 lbs whale jiggled around under center for the last decade plus. I think we will see lots of bootlegs, waggles, and misdirections from Biscuit Boy. One thing about the steelers, they don't seem to try and put square pegs in round holes. They know how to maximize a guy's talent.
2.) CB Levi "don't call me wrangler" Wallace- Signed away from Buffalo. Not very fast, but a solid tackler. Got absolutely torched against KC and probably sealed his fate on staying with the Bills. He was an UDFA and all I can say is I hope we see a lot of him covering Chase and Higgins.
3.) Myles Jack- Perfect reclamation project for the steelers. Jack is a solid LB, but was exposed in coverage due to a team that had less pressure than a third string QB at Green Bay. His coverage grades at PFF were pathetic, but he is a solid pass rusher and run defender and that is likely how they will utilize him. Say it with me: "Spread them out and attack their LBs in coverage".
4.) Mason Cole- Signed from MIN, a center that had a really up and down season. He saved his two best outings for SF and the steelers, so it shows that he can go against bigger, stronger lines. Was in and out of the lineup a lot so was likely battling injuries.
5.) James Daniels- I was among a few on here hoping the Bengals would sign him from Chicago. A very solid and steadily progressing guard. Next to Biscuit, their best FA signing.
6.) Gunner Olszewski- A WR from the Pats that was used primarily in special teams. He is a really good ST player, but not much of a WR.
7.) Myles Boykin- I thought a lot of him coming out of ND. He never really panned out, but what WR pans out in Baltimore?
Solid slot option to replace JJSS who may be the most overrated player in the league. KC has him over Hill now? Good luck with that.
The Draft:
1.) Kenny Pickett- Like Burrow, had a huge leap in his final year in college. That is where the similarities end. Haha, just kidding. He's actually a pretty solid QB prospect. Brett Venables has seen his fair share of QBs and he called Pickett "a baller", and although a lot of his stats came against duds in their conference, he did play very well against a solid Clemson defense. I think he will likely take over for Biscuit by midseason, but not before.
2.) George Pickens- Mercurial talent. Great ability, but an absolute assbag. Talk about fitting their team chemistry. You though AB was a jerk? Wait until you see this kid. Oddly, I assumed he was related in some way to our own cancerous receiver, Carl Pickens, but you can't find anything about it? Maybe his agent didn't want that around his neck. Oh, well. He will likely have a huge game early (not against Cincy) and then when he falls flat on his face, he will blame everyone but himself and make a ton of excuses (see Claypool, Chase).
3.) DeMarvin Leal- Versatile DE that fits their scheme well. Fell in the draft for reasons unknown. Rumors of coaching conflicts.
4.) Calvin Austin II- Put up some gaudy stats against the likes of Arkansas State, but struggled in press coverage and has a very low catch %. They will find him ways to get the ball in space and use his speed, but at 5'8" and only 170 lbs, durability is a big concern. If he gets the ball in the open field, though, look out.
6.) Conner Heyward- Younger brother of Cam Heyward, their all-pro DT. Used almost exclusively as a blocking FB and a solid receiving option, this pick is a double-down on dedicating themselves to a better rushing attack.
7.) Mark Robertson- LB that will likely be on PS.
In summary, they still have some really solid pieces: TJ Watt, Cam Heyward, and now, Larry Ogunjobi. They have Minkah Fitzpatrick as a safety, and they have some solid offensive weapons in Dionte Johnson, Friermuth, Najae Harris, and Claypool (just ask him). However, I see a very suspect LB corps in terms of coverage, and their CBs are below average. They simply can't generate the kind of pressure needed to allow those guys to take chances and play shallow. I know they had some injuries, but they finished dead last in the NFL against the run last year. Jack can help that, as can Larry O, but they simply don't have the athletes on the back end to trade scores with the elite of the league. If their rushing attack could be dominant, they could play aggressive blitzing from a lead, but their offensive line is just average at best.
Their head coach is the same, Omar Epps. Their OC is the second year guy that is named after our friends to the North and doesn't seem to have much game. They hired Teryl Austin as their DC, which is good for a laugh and maybe will allow Burrow to break the record day he set against the rats. Week 1, please?
I see the steelers coming in this season at 7-10. I see their stadium less than half-full by year's end. In the immortal words of Jake Lisco, from Locked on Bengals: "F### the steelers".
I chose the steelers because, well, I hate them and can't pass up the chance to insult them. In all seriousness, I tried to remain at least a little objective.
Moves in Free Agency:
1.) Mitchell "Mr.Biscuit" Trubisky- I actually think this was a really solid signing for them. He won in Chicago (but not enough for their horrible coach) and actually has more wins than DeShawn Watson, and they came out in the same class. Think about that. He gives them a mobility dimension at QB they haven't seen since a 300 lbs whale jiggled around under center for the last decade plus. I think we will see lots of bootlegs, waggles, and misdirections from Biscuit Boy. One thing about the steelers, they don't seem to try and put square pegs in round holes. They know how to maximize a guy's talent.
2.) CB Levi "don't call me wrangler" Wallace- Signed away from Buffalo. Not very fast, but a solid tackler. Got absolutely torched against KC and probably sealed his fate on staying with the Bills. He was an UDFA and all I can say is I hope we see a lot of him covering Chase and Higgins.
3.) Myles Jack- Perfect reclamation project for the steelers. Jack is a solid LB, but was exposed in coverage due to a team that had less pressure than a third string QB at Green Bay. His coverage grades at PFF were pathetic, but he is a solid pass rusher and run defender and that is likely how they will utilize him. Say it with me: "Spread them out and attack their LBs in coverage".
4.) Mason Cole- Signed from MIN, a center that had a really up and down season. He saved his two best outings for SF and the steelers, so it shows that he can go against bigger, stronger lines. Was in and out of the lineup a lot so was likely battling injuries.
5.) James Daniels- I was among a few on here hoping the Bengals would sign him from Chicago. A very solid and steadily progressing guard. Next to Biscuit, their best FA signing.
6.) Gunner Olszewski- A WR from the Pats that was used primarily in special teams. He is a really good ST player, but not much of a WR.
7.) Myles Boykin- I thought a lot of him coming out of ND. He never really panned out, but what WR pans out in Baltimore?
Solid slot option to replace JJSS who may be the most overrated player in the league. KC has him over Hill now? Good luck with that.
The Draft:
1.) Kenny Pickett- Like Burrow, had a huge leap in his final year in college. That is where the similarities end. Haha, just kidding. He's actually a pretty solid QB prospect. Brett Venables has seen his fair share of QBs and he called Pickett "a baller", and although a lot of his stats came against duds in their conference, he did play very well against a solid Clemson defense. I think he will likely take over for Biscuit by midseason, but not before.
2.) George Pickens- Mercurial talent. Great ability, but an absolute assbag. Talk about fitting their team chemistry. You though AB was a jerk? Wait until you see this kid. Oddly, I assumed he was related in some way to our own cancerous receiver, Carl Pickens, but you can't find anything about it? Maybe his agent didn't want that around his neck. Oh, well. He will likely have a huge game early (not against Cincy) and then when he falls flat on his face, he will blame everyone but himself and make a ton of excuses (see Claypool, Chase).
3.) DeMarvin Leal- Versatile DE that fits their scheme well. Fell in the draft for reasons unknown. Rumors of coaching conflicts.
4.) Calvin Austin II- Put up some gaudy stats against the likes of Arkansas State, but struggled in press coverage and has a very low catch %. They will find him ways to get the ball in space and use his speed, but at 5'8" and only 170 lbs, durability is a big concern. If he gets the ball in the open field, though, look out.
6.) Conner Heyward- Younger brother of Cam Heyward, their all-pro DT. Used almost exclusively as a blocking FB and a solid receiving option, this pick is a double-down on dedicating themselves to a better rushing attack.
7.) Mark Robertson- LB that will likely be on PS.
In summary, they still have some really solid pieces: TJ Watt, Cam Heyward, and now, Larry Ogunjobi. They have Minkah Fitzpatrick as a safety, and they have some solid offensive weapons in Dionte Johnson, Friermuth, Najae Harris, and Claypool (just ask him). However, I see a very suspect LB corps in terms of coverage, and their CBs are below average. They simply can't generate the kind of pressure needed to allow those guys to take chances and play shallow. I know they had some injuries, but they finished dead last in the NFL against the run last year. Jack can help that, as can Larry O, but they simply don't have the athletes on the back end to trade scores with the elite of the league. If their rushing attack could be dominant, they could play aggressive blitzing from a lead, but their offensive line is just average at best.
Their head coach is the same, Omar Epps. Their OC is the second year guy that is named after our friends to the North and doesn't seem to have much game. They hired Teryl Austin as their DC, which is good for a laugh and maybe will allow Burrow to break the record day he set against the rats. Week 1, please?
I see the steelers coming in this season at 7-10. I see their stadium less than half-full by year's end. In the immortal words of Jake Lisco, from Locked on Bengals: "F### the steelers".
![[Image: 4CV0TeR.png]](https://i.imgur.com/4CV0TeR.png)
![[Image: 99q141.jpg]](https://i.imgflip.com/99q141.jpg)
