What would be your reaction?

[StLucieBengal]

Going to not say much other than to ask if you think this was the appropriate response. And how would you have reacted in this scenario?

The Larger question .... are the days of just going up to a woman and taking your shot over? Is that sexist now?

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

Did anyone suggest it was sexist other than you?

[GMDino]

If we assume everything in the story is true I would consider it inappropriate as the agent was working.  (Otherwise she wouldn't know it was a TSA agent and that part wouldn't be relevant to the story).

Asking for a number with no other conversation also seems a *bit* forward in my book.

Like those guys who think the female bartender likes them because she is nice to them. 

[*bfine32*]

(10-06-2017, 12:17 PM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: Did anyone suggest it was sexist other than you?

It appears Brie Larson did.

As to the OP: React to what?

[CKwi88]

Very inappropriate behavior coming from a TSA agent.

[hollodero]

What this woman said for me translates to "the guy wasn't attractive". There sure is more to that in that special circumstance (it seems unprofessional), but in general, that's the attitude. Harassment often translates to "someone not in my league dared to talk to me, that's harassment". By that, I do not mean to downplay actual harassment, which of course also is just too common.

I take issue with women complaining about men approaching them in a non-derogatory way. It's luxury whining. Missy got it right.

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

(10-06-2017, 12:19 PM)bfine32 Wrote: It appears Brie Larson did.

As to the OP: React to what?

React to the sexism you claimed Brie Larson suggested in her quote, of course.

Even you don't know what she is reacting to as indicated by your question, so could you explain why you believe Brie Larson suggested sexism was involved?

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

(10-06-2017, 12:35 PM)hollodero Wrote: What this woman said for me translates to "the guy wasn't attractive". There sure is more to that in that special circumstance (it seems unprofessional), but in general, that's the attitude. Harassment often translates to "someone not in my league dared to talk to me, that's harassment". By that, I do not mean to downplay actual harassment, which of course also is just too common.

I take issue with women complaining about men approaching them in a non-derogatory way. It's luxury whining. Missy got it right.

Point taken. But, would you hit on a women in the normal course of you job duties as a public servant in a security capacity? In other words, is it appropriate for on duty security personnel to hit on civilians in the work place setting? My answer is no.

Do I believe the TSA agent or Brie Larson acted sexists? No.

[*Nately120*]

This made me think of this story from my past. I had a pal, and we were pals from ages 15 to oh, late 20s I guess was when things trailed off. He had a sister 2 years younger than us and when we were in our mid 20s and hanging out and drinking with the crew I noticed she was along and not so bad to look at. She seemed to be not repulsed by me and I said something of the tune of this to her:

"So I assume damn near every one of your brother's friends has had a few beers and asked you out, so if I were to do that and assure you it is out of legitimate interest what would you say?" She laughed and said that she would say yes, and that almost all of her brother's friends HAD hit on her at one point or another. She was also a waitress and I correctly assumed that led to every man in town assuming she wanted their number. When I called her the next day she admitted she was pleasantly surprised I actually followed up on my tipsy requests.

I can see why women get annoyed that everything they do is taken as an invitation for romance/sex and so on. Particularly in our "she asked for it" society. It's also a case by case basis. In my better looking days I'd been approached by women that DID interest me, women that didn't, women that made me legitimately uneasy (as in they had kids and abusive ex boyfriends and were looking for someone to save them) and the occasional gay guy.

Basically, I'm saying that I can count on one hand the number of times I've had someone I wasn't interested in approach me about this sort of thing and it's a bit of an unfun situation so I can only imagine that attractive women get that times 1000 at least. Hell, I've also been the guy who misconstrued a woman being baseline friendly to me as an invitation to get something going on and I felt like a bit of an arse for thinking it was more than that.

Anywho, bottom line is that I don't blame women for getting sick of men hitting on them. It takes relatively little to get us thinking we're gonna score.

[Matt_Crimson]

(10-06-2017, 12:35 PM)hollodero Wrote: What this woman said for me translates to "the guy wasn't attractive". There sure is more to that in that special circumstance (it seems unprofessional), but in general, that's the attitude. Harassment often translates to "someone not in my league dared to talk to me, that's harassment". By that, I do not mean to downplay actual harassment, which of course also is just too common.

I take issue with women complaining about men approaching them in a non-derogatory way. It's luxury whining. Missy got it right.

Ding ding ding!!!! 

Women whining about men "harrassing" them in this type of manner really bothers me. They can't admit that if some sexy dude hits on them they'll either give him their phone number or say no in a polite manner if theyre already taken and have some respect for their current relationship.

In fact I've seen this very scenario play out at my job multiple times. There's one coworker I work with (female) that will basically scoff at any guy that's not attractive to her and has even gone as far as turning someone in because he said he liked the pants she was wearing one day and he ended up getting written up for harassment and suspended for the comment.

I have no sympathy towards her whatsoever because there are guys that she finds attractive that she talks to on a daily basis and they make sexual comments toward her all the time and she either laughs about it or participates in responding back with a likewise comment. It's ridiculous. And these arent 3rd grade comments they're making towards one another either. But because it's an attractive guy it's okay.

[GMDino]

(10-06-2017, 12:35 PM)hollodero Wrote: What this woman said for me translates to "the guy wasn't attractive". There sure is more to that in that special circumstance (it seems unprofessional), but in general, that's the attitude. Harassment often translates to "someone not in my league dared to talk to me, that's harassment". By that, I do not mean to downplay actual harassment, which of course also is just too common.

I take issue with women complaining about men approaching them in a non-derogatory way. It's luxury whining. Missy got it right.

Where did you get that?

She made no reference to his looks or anything other than he was a TSA agent and he smiled at him.

[*bfine32*]

(10-06-2017, 12:36 PM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: React to the sexism you claimed Brie Larson suggested in her quote, of course.

Even you don't know what she is reacting to as indicated by your question, so could you explain why you believe Brie Larson suggested sexism was involved?

"as a woman you always have to be on the defense".


IMO, she has made the request for a phone number about sex.

I knew full well what Ms Larson was reacting to; I was unsure as to what the OP wanted us to react to. The initial smile, the request for phone number, or Ms Laarson's tweet.

Sorry for the confusion.

[*Nately120*]

Well women have to be on the defense because they're totally asking for it the way they smile at us and wear those sexy clothes, amirite?

[GMDino]

(10-06-2017, 01:25 PM)Nately120 Wrote: Well women have to be on the defense because they're totally asking for it the way they smile at us and wear those sexy clothes, amirite?

That's where I fell with it.  Doesn't hurt to be defensive since the guy seems to be really forward/aggressive (based on what she wrote being true).  But it's too far to say they have to ALWAYS be on the defensive.

[hollodero]

(10-06-2017, 12:43 PM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: Point taken. But, would you hit on a women in the normal course of you job duties as a public servant in a security capacity?  In other words, is it appropriate for on duty security personnel to hit on civilians in the work place setting?  My answer is no.

Do I believe the TSA agent or Brie Larson acted sexists?  No.

I said that it was unprofessional.

(10-06-2017, 01:19 PM)GMDino Wrote: Where did you get that?

She made no reference to his looks or anything other than he was a TSA agent and he smiled at him.

Just look at Mr. Crimson's remarks. I came across similar scenarios. It's some (some, mind you, not "all") women's behaviour, simple as that. What she willingly accepts from a handsome man is often basically the same thing she condemns as harassment when an unattractive man does it. Kind of that's harassment, because he should know better I'm too good for him.

(And to avoid the unavoidable follow-up: No, I don't say that because the latter always happens to me. Please no one go there, that would honestly annoy me.)

If the women in this comment behaves among these lines, I do not know. I just figured a discussion would be a bit broader than that. 

[StLucieBengal]

(10-06-2017, 01:20 PM)bfine32 Wrote: "as a woman you always have to be on the defense".


IMO, she has made the request for a phone number about sex.

I knew full well what Ms Larson was reacting to; I was unsure as to what the OP wanted us to react to. The initial smile, the request for phone number, or Ms Laarson's tweet.

Sorry for the confusion.

How would you have reacted in the similar scenario. What if a TSA agent asked for your number. And if you were the TSA agent would you have taken your shot or stayed quiet?

I guess the bigger question might be can we as men take our shots anymore without offending a woman?

[*Nately120*]

(10-06-2017, 01:33 PM)GMDino Wrote: That's where I fell with it.  Doesn't hurt to be defensive since the guy seems to be really forward/aggressive (based on what she wrote being true).  But it's too far to say they have to ALWAYS be on the defensive.

I'll excuse my fellow males in this culture (to an extent) because we're conditioned by TV/music/movies/marketing to aspire to be the guy who boldly and confidently sweeps a woman off her feet before she even knows she wants it.  I recall reading about this recently and it's quite fascinating, really.  Think of any romantic comedy and recall how an attractive male lead wins over a reluctant woman by ignoring her requests to be left alone and then engaging in insane activities that would land a real life person in jail.

On one hand no means no, but on the other hand Taylor Swift tells girls to turn a guy down until he does something to really show that he's interested in you.  Yep, you'll know the guy is a keeper when he refuses to respect your space and right to politely turn him down.

So yea, I think women, particularly the attractive ones, have to be on the defensive because our society (men and women) aren't shy about pushing the notion that women often have to be convinced they want it.

[StLucieBengal]

(10-06-2017, 12:17 PM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: Did anyone suggest it was sexist other than you?

She did in subsequent messages.

[GMDino]

(10-06-2017, 01:43 PM)StLucieBengal Wrote: How would you have reacted in the similar scenario.  What if a TSA agent asked for your number.    And if you were the TSA agent would you have taken your shot or stayed quiet?  

I guess the bigger question might be can we as men take our shots anymore without offending a woman?

I would not have asked if a woman "smiled at me".  No.

If asked I would politely decline and probably make fun of the person later too.  

Take your shots...just don't act like "times have changed" and women are to blame when you get shot down.

[*bfine32*]

(10-06-2017, 01:43 PM)StLucieBengal Wrote: How would you have reacted in the similar scenario.  What if a TSA agent asked for your number.    And if you were the TSA agent would you have taken your shot or stayed quiet?  

I guess the bigger question might be can we as men take our shots anymore without offending a woman?

Folks have to take shots. How else do they get together? Hell, I might even try to kiss a girl without asking her if it is OK first.