Candidate Profiles

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Former Arkansas governor and Fox News personality Mike Huckabee announced his 2016 presidential candidacy Tuesday, becoming the sixth Republican hopeful to officially enter the race. Here’s what you need to know about Huckabee:

Born: August 24, 1955

Born Again: September 15, 1982

Voter Base: Future Scott Walker supporters

Concept Of Hellfire Plays Role In Worldview: Yes

Slogan: “Mike Huckabee? Sure, okay.”

Campaign Promise: Shore up Social Security to ensure it lasts until End Times

Political Advantage: Most likable candidate by default

Central Beliefs: Believes homosexuality is a choice; considers abortion akin to slavery; wants to bring common sense back to America

Biggest Strength: Last name has optimal number of syllables for chanting

Political Experience: Knows what it’s like to quietly fade away on big stage

Tour Bus: To-scale replica of Noah’s Ark

Campaign Goal: Strengthen salary negotiating position with Fox News