04-26-2016, 11:14 PM
(04-26-2016, 10:03 PM)xxlt Wrote: U
1. No. When did I say anything about my own parenting - or even state whether I have children? One of the biggest problems with this MB - and perhaps our culture in general - is the assumptions and/or inferences people make. I never once said, "Here is my manifesto on parenting," or anything of that sort. I did state I have heard numerous (dozens, maybe even hundreds) talk about how devastated they were when they learned they could not trust their parents. Sometimes it was over a myth, sometimes it was over something much more serious (what happened to their pet, their sister, their grandmother, etc.). So, the question is whether it is worth examining if parents should be more deliberate in choosing what to tell their children and whether they should consider being more forthright about all things - the "fun" (Santa, Easter Bunny, what causes farts) and the not so fun (health, education, well being).
2. Again, when did I say I know what lies kids tell and why they tell them? I simply suggested there may be a parallel - and to me there seems to be a parallel - between honest parents having kids who are honest with them and dishonest parents having kids who are dishonest with them. I am not claiming anything. I am asking - does this make sense? Has anyone ever thought critically about it? I honestly expected broader opinions than what I have read so far, which is basically, "**** you, I lie to my kids as easily as I change my socks and how dare you question my abilities as a parent" and "to even raise the topic is strange." Well, OK, those opinions are valid and apparently prevalent here. That is what I wanted to know - what people think. But my sense is they are reacting and not really thinking much at all. I solicited opinions, and I got some, and I gave some feedback on them, but never said I never deceived a kid and never said I know all about all. I am thinking about this and wanted some grist for the mill.
3. Whether I am a parent or not is not germane to the discussion. The age of any children I may have is not germane. As Dylan said, "You don't have to be a weather man to know which way the wind is blowing." You don't have to have played football (or any sport) to coach it, be a fan of it, or have an opinion about it. It is just irrelevant. And again, I never said I never lied to children (be they mine or another's) and I even acknowledged there may be "must lie situations" involving children and adults. But they seem to be a matter of politeness (like not saying someone's newborn is ugly - at least not to the parent) and I wonder if we as a culture (or all cultures) are too cavalier about deceit whether for politeness sake, some other reason, or no reason.
Your parenting chops are germane. When I was younger and had no children I went through the phase of its great to treat kids as equals and tell them everything. Because it was the "right" thing to do so they liked me.
Fortunately I didn't have children then when I had these ridiculous notions. Age and expierence has allowed me to see where friends and family have gone wrong. This has also allowed me enough time to formulate a method I am comfortable.
And lastly ...... The got dang Germans got nothin to do with this ...
