more CLEAN funny pictures and jokes

[SunsetBengal]

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Quote:My life literally consists of my wife giving me chores to do to distract from the fact that it takes her an actual decade to get ready.
Me: Li, you ready?
Her: Did you brush Carson's teeth yet?
Me: Done, ready yet?
Her: Can you put my purse in your truck?
Me: isn't that something you kind of do when you get in the truck? Whatever. Done. Ready?
Her: Can you check our 2012 tax return to see if there are any errors?
Me: What the hell? What? Whatever. Done itemized all of our deductions and saved us an extra $400. You ready now?
Her: I need you to go to the store to get me some more make-up.
Me: What store?
Her: the Ulta in California. They have my favorite brand.
Me: this is ridiculous. *2 weeks later* I'm back. Here. Ready
Her: 5 more minutes....