When I started working for myself I did some stuff to help market my services. One of them was to offer a deal where if a person paid me full price to defend them in a DUI case then I would defend any family member (spouse, child, parent, first cousin) for half price if they got a DUI within one year.

So one of my clients came into my office to take me up on the deal. He claimed that since it was half price for a wife and half price for a first cousin then I should represent his wife for free because she was also he first cousin. I told him it did not work like that. He said he would sue me to enforce the deal. Since I was his lawyer I had to sue myself. I won the case and had to represent his wife for free.

(02-16-2016, 04:43 PM)fredtoast Wrote: When I started working for myself I did some stuff to help market my services.  One of them was to offer a deal where if a person paid me full price to defend them in a DUI case then I would defend any family member (spouse, child, parent, first cousin) for half price if they got a DUI within one year.

So one of my clients came into my office to take me up on the deal.  He claimed that since it was half price for a wife and half price for a first cousin then I should represent his wife for free because she was also he first cousin.  I told him it did not work like that.  He said he would sue me to enforce the deal.  Since I was his lawyer I had to sue myself.  I won the case and had to represent his wife for free.

Yes, but what did you charge him for taking the case against yourself?

You should get a class action suit against yourself representing all your former clients.

(02-16-2016, 05:11 PM)GMDino Wrote: Yes, but what did you charge him for taking the case against yourself?

It was a contingency agreement so I got one-third of the free representation I had to provide him.

Sung by the one and only Ray Stevens


Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three

I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed
This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother
Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too
Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know but it really is so
I'm my own grandpa


Read more: Ray Stevens - I'm My Own Grandpa Lyrics | MetroLyrics

(02-16-2016, 06:55 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Sung by the one and only Ray Stevens


Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three

I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed
This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother
Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too
Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know but it really is so
I'm my own grandpa


Read more: Ray Stevens - I'm My Own Grandpa Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Ha!  I was going to post that too!

But Ray Stevens didn't do it first.





That would be Lonzo and Oscar!  I heard it on the Dr. Demento show when I was a kid!

(02-16-2016, 04:43 PM)fredtoast Wrote: When I started working for myself I did some stuff to help market my services.  One of them was to offer a deal where if a person paid me full price to defend them in a DUI case then I would defend any family member (spouse, child, parent, first cousin) for half price if they got a DUI within one year.

So one of my clients came into my office to take me up on the deal.  He claimed that since it was half price for a wife and half price for a first cousin then I should represent his wife for free because she was also he first cousin.  I told him it did not work like that.  He said he would sue me to enforce the deal.  Since I was his lawyer I had to sue myself.  I won the case and had to represent his wife for free.

If they live in Ohio or Kentucky I call bullshit, its illegal for first cousins to marry.

(02-17-2016, 12:46 PM)GodFather Wrote: If they live in Ohio or Kentucky I call bullshit, its illegal for first cousins to marry.

believe Fred works in Tenn.

So a little futher south a little less diverse gene pool

Bad joke is bad...

(02-17-2016, 01:01 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: believe Fred works in Tenn.  

So a little futher south a little less diverse gene pool

LOL