Thinking lately that maybe I am missing out by not having kids. So far I have traveled done what I wanted but it has been more about self than another. How does a kid change your perspective on life? Does it bring the big picture all together? Give you a reason being on earth? Do you worry about dying leaving them? Is there anyone who had a child and felt perhaps you made a mistake? (Not the child was a mistake) but perhaps not what you thought it would be? My big thing is sometimes, I feel I am just wasting time after doing what I wanted and perhaps need a purpose and have a lot to offer a child. Any adopted a child?

(10-16-2016, 09:48 AM)Marlon23 Wrote: My big thing is sometimes, I feel I am just wasting time after doing what I wanted and perhaps need a purpose and have a lot to offer a child.   

Get a dog at your local shelter. Will cost you alot less in the long run, still give you love, and not tell you to eff off when it becomes a teenager.

(10-16-2016, 05:31 PM)Beaker Wrote: Get a dog at your local shelter. Will cost you alot less in the long run, still give you love, and not tell you to eff off when it becomes a teenager.

I might do this instead...  I don't have any pets.  

(10-16-2016, 07:00 PM)Marlon23 Wrote: I might do this instead...  I don't have any pets.  

A dog is a great idea (provided you're prepared foe the responsibility).  Make sure you go to a shelter to adopt.  Give an animal down on its luck a forever home.  

offer to watch someone's kid for a weekend. Preferably someone you know, otherwise you'll probably end up in jail. If you don't completely hate the kid by the end of the weekend, maybe its for you.

(10-16-2016, 09:41 PM)Benton Wrote: offer to watch someone's kid for a weekend. Preferably someone you know, otherwise you'll probably end up in jail. If you don't completely hate the kid by the end of the weekend, maybe its for you.

This is the census that I am getting here... I really like my life but sometimes the boredom is a bit much.  After you traveled the world a bit and saved money, and do what you want you start thinking is there more!  I am relatively young and I think I am just needing that extra something, but honestly I think a dog is something I am seriously going to look into.  I like birds (outside) so a dog might be the ticket.  Thanks. 

Do you even have the right woman lined up to do this kid thing? I only ask because doing it with the wrong one will land you at least 18 yrs of problems. I think most people never regret having kids, but some regret the partner they "chose".

(10-17-2016, 10:52 AM)jason Wrote: Do you even have the right woman lined up to do this kid thing? I only ask because doing it with the wrong one will land you at least 18 yrs of problems. I think most people never regret having kids, but some regret the partner they "chose".

 Hmmm..  

(10-17-2016, 10:52 AM)jason Wrote: Do you even have the right woman lined up to do this kid thing? I only ask because doing it with the wrong one will land you at least 18 yrs of problems. I think most people never regret having kids, but some regret the partner they "chose".

(10-17-2016, 12:34 PM)Marlon23 Wrote:  Hmmm..  

Guarantee that if you don't have what it takes to make a serious relationship work with a woman then you are not ready for kids.

(10-17-2016, 02:05 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Guarantee that if you don't have what it takes to make a serious relationship work with a woman then you are not ready for kids.

Been Married for 10 yrs...   or so..  I just don't know if she wants kids.  We talked about it lately but for some reason, not in depth. I think I might be coming from it, at a selfish point of view.  I am bored and want something to fill the void.  Which is probably not good.

Children are beyond amazing; I have big families from both my parents' sides so I've been around lots of children from newborns to high school age kids all my life -- and I love kids! We only have three but my mother was one of six and my father was one of fifteen!

(10-17-2016, 05:10 PM)Marlon23 Wrote: Been Married for 10 yrs...   or so..  I just don't know if she wants kids.  We talked about it lately but for some reason, not in depth.

Stop kidding yourself.

If you have been married 10 years you know if she wants kids or not.  In fact you discussed it before you even got married.

(10-17-2016, 07:16 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Stop kidding yourself.

If you have been married 10 years you know if she wants kids or not.  In fact you discussed it before you even got married.

She is not jumping up and down for them, we did not discuss it before marriage at all.. Promise.  But lately after doing everything I wanted to do... I feel something is missing.. Things are good now and honestly don't want anything to mess that up but sometimes feel shallow lifestyle.  

So, you're "bored" and think having kids will liven things up a bit? Yeah, this will end well.

Why not take all of that spare time you have on your hands and volunteer? I'm sure there are organizations near you that could use a hand. The best way to improve your life is by improving someone else's.

You know what give it a shot, if you find you don't like being a father you could always drop em off at the park!

(10-17-2016, 07:23 PM)Marlon23 Wrote: She is not jumping up and down for them, we did not discuss it before marriage at all.. Promise.

Sorry, but I can not believe that someone would get married without discussing having children.  You can't possibly have gotten married without talking about the future at all.

(10-17-2016, 08:19 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: So, you're "bored" and think having kids will  liven things up a bit?  Yeah, this will end well.

Why not take all of that spare time you have on your hands and volunteer?  I'm sure there are organizations near you that could use a hand.  The best way to improve your life is by improving someone else's.

Now this is going to sound like I am an awful person, but honestly where I come from poor, fighting over money, paid my own way through college, nobody gave me much of anything, I don't understand why most I see on the corner can't do the same thing I did.  Better myself through the years.  Volunteer people who are on crack or heroin, especially in my neighborhood?  Or these people who keep popping out babies, I know people who have 4 kids who are drug addicts are these the people I am supposed to be helping?  If I help anyone it is going to be the elderly.  

(10-17-2016, 11:47 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Sorry, but I can not believe that someone would get married without discussing having children.  You can't possibly have gotten married without talking about the future at all.

We discussed it but vaguely during that time.  At the time I could say we both did not want kids.  Then as time went on we were content, however NOW I am starting to feel I need something more in my life. And wondering if a Kid is something, that I am missing out on.. cause most people my age are having kids or have had kids for a little while now.

(10-17-2016, 11:43 PM)GodFather Wrote: You know what give it a shot, if you find you don't like being a father you could always drop em off at the park!  

LOL...  I am wondering if you have kids!!!  

I was about to agree with all the positive aspects of having children--until I read this.

 I feel I am just wasting time after doing what I wanted and perhaps need a purpose and have a lot to offer a child.

That is not where a healthy relationship with a child starts.

Beaker is right. A dog would be a better bet. And as the owner of many dogs over the years, that is not a bad choice at all.
No other being on earth will love you back the way a dog does.  They follow you to the end.


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