Below is a draft of the letter I promised. Please use it as a guideline if you want to send your own letter to the front office. It probably won't help, but I feel better.


December 19, 2016

Ms. Katie Blackburn, Executive Vice President
Cincinnati Bengals
1 Paul Brown Stadium
Cincinnati, OH 45202

Dear Ms. Blackburn,

I am writing you out of sheer frustration. I have been a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals since day one 1968. Twenty-six years and counting since the Bengals last playoff victory – albeit a short lived one. This drought is unacceptable to us fans. Ms. Blackburn, we are talking generations here.

I would have addressed this to your father, but am absolutely convinced he would not pay any attention to it. His focus seems to be on maximizing profit and maintaining mediocrity -- not on winning. My hope is that you, as the future decision-maker for this franchise, WILL step up and make winning a priority for us all to enjoy. As a lawyer, you’re smart enough to know that happy fans spend more money. And more money means more profit for the family.

Being a man your father’s age, I have lost the battle trying to keep my children rooting for the Bengals. I am still working on grandchildren, but I see them giving up too. They have no historical foundation. All they see is a franchise that can’t win important games.

The TV commentators and the NFL apparently have no respect for the Bengals either. As proof, listen to their on-air comments and watch what looks to be biased officiating.

For a while Marvin Lewis, gave us fans hope, but since 2010, has been consistently out coached; can’t/won’t make half-time adjustments; favors underperforming players too long (Nugent); holds no one accountable; and “plays not to lose”…but does! Therefore, I can only hope Marvin Lewis has seen his last one-year contract extension and will be replaced this off season.

Sincerely,


X. XXXX XXXXXXXX

If I were a billionaire I'd listen to you.

Tell her bfine wants to know what's she wearing.

(12-19-2016, 08:40 PM)bfine32 Wrote: Tell her bfine wants to know what's she wearing.

Whatever it is it aint enough.

I would leave out "I would have addressed this to your father, but am absolutely convinced he would not pay any attention to it. His focus seems to be on maximizing profit and maintaining mediocrity -- not on winning."

After all, he is her father. Otherwise good letter.

(12-19-2016, 09:07 PM)Millhouse Wrote: After all, he is her father. 

And this comes to mind....

(12-19-2016, 08:30 PM)Derrick Wrote: Below is a draft of the letter I promised. Please use it as a guideline if you want to send your own letter to the front office. It probably won't help, but I feel better.


December 19, 2016

Ms. Katie Blackburn, Executive Vice President
Cincinnati Bengals
1 Paul Brown Stadium
Cincinnati, OH 45202

Dear Ms. Blackburn,

I am writing you out of sheer frustration. I have been a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals since day one 1968. Twenty-six years and counting since the Bengals last playoff victory – albeit a short lived one. This drought is unacceptable to us fans. Ms. Blackburn, we are talking generations here.

I would have addressed this to your father, but am absolutely convinced he would not pay any attention to it. His focus seems to be on maximizing profit and maintaining mediocrity -- not on winning. My hope is that you, as the future decision-maker for this franchise, WILL step up and make winning a priority for us all to enjoy. As a lawyer, you’re smart enough to know that happy fans spend more money. And more money means more profit for the family.

Being a man your father’s age, I have lost the battle trying to keep my children rooting for the Bengals. I am still working on grandchildren, but I see them giving up too.  They have no historical foundation. All they see is a franchise that can’t win important games.

The TV commentators and the NFL apparently have no respect for the Bengals either. As proof, listen to their on-air comments and watch what looks to be biased officiating.

For a while Marvin Lewis, gave us fans hope, but since 2010, has been consistently out coached; can’t/won’t make half-time adjustments; favors underperforming players  too long (Nugent); holds no one accountable; and “plays not to lose”…but does! Therefore, I can only hope Marvin Lewis has seen his last one-year contract extension and will be replaced this off season.

Sincerely,


X. XXXX XXXXXXXX

Dear Derrick,
 Thank you for taking the time and writing to me with your concerns and loyalty to the Bengals organization. After careful consideration I must respectfully decline your request for one simple reason.... your not going anywhere Derrick! You've been a fan since 1968 and you will continue to pour money into the Bengals organization in one fashion or another. Your frustrated I get it, but guess what? Theres nothing an offseason can't cure. You'll be salty for the next few months and then your hope will slowly creep back and something we do will spark your excitement (a.k.a wallet) and you will be on board fully one more time. Its called being a Bengals fan bust a rhymes, and while your calculating thinking of ways for us to win a Super Bowl, I will be sipping Pina Colada's on a resort on your dime and the many other countless Bengal faithful's! 

Katie Blackburn

Dear Katie,

I realize your ol' man is making you like a bazillion bucks, but trust me, he's crap. I think you owe more to me, a total stranger who is under no actual obligation to support your brand, than you do to your own father. I beseech you, PLEASE go tell your father he is crap and that he should STOP everything he is doing. Is your mom still alive? If she is you should like, push her down the stairs or something. I feel like that would be a good course of action, too.

Also, I realize you have been a part of the Bengals organization for 50 years or something, but have you noticed that your father is a crappy GM and that you haven't won a playoff game since you looked like Kevin Bacon circa Footloose and NOT like old Kevin Bacon (as you look now)? You need to wake up. If I ran and NFL team I'd listen to me, unless me was Mike Brown, in which case I'd listen to me...me referring to the me that is me and not the me that is Mike Brown. Are you hearin' me?


Sincerely,

David Klingler's Left Testicle, PhD

PS - While you're at it... pleeeze change that Gawd awful B logo to a D... or if not... then that leaping tiger thingy.

This letter will end up in the garbage. Like all the others.

Dear Katie,

Please sell this franchise to a real owner. I don't care where. Preferably one who doesn't have time to interfere with the actual workings of the team and doesn't pretend they are football geniuses.

(12-19-2016, 10:52 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: PS - While you're at it...  pleeeze change that Gawd awful B logo to a D...  or if not... then that leaping tiger thingy.

Id say we deserve more of a 'F' than a 'B' or even a 'D'. 

Could even go for a name change..the Cincinnati Failures. 

(12-19-2016, 10:52 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: PS - While you're at it...  pleeeze change that Gawd awful B logo to a D...  or if not... then that leaping tiger thingy.

Why a D? 

Anyway, I really like the B. 

Great strategy. That letter goes in the trash, as soon as you start ripping her father. 

This is a family owned franchise that follows a proven formula. We've been one of the best teams in the league over the last 6-years or so. There are lots of teams, and only 1 can win the Super Bowl each year. Takes a lot of talent, and a crap ton of luck. If Andy doesn't bust his thumb in an idiotic fluke play, we may very well have played the Panthers in the SB last year.

The Brown family has proven to be quite competent, and perhaps loyal to a fault - at least to some extent. It's hard to make a clear cut case against Marvin, given the way he turned this club around.

And for what it's worth, winning is not always the most profitable option, especially when NFL still won't put their butts in your seats. 

(12-19-2016, 11:18 PM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: Why a D? 

Anyway, I really like the B. 

The OP name starts with D.

It took me a minute to get it myself.

If you wouldn't send it to Mike, don't bother sending it to Katie.

We want Zimmer back

(12-20-2016, 12:45 AM)Alleyviper13 Wrote: We want Zimmer back

Thanks for the feedback. Much of it was helpful and funny too.

(12-20-2016, 12:45 AM)Alleyviper13 Wrote: We want Zimmer back

As DC, I can agree