Dear Joe,

We're sorry. You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault. You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap. These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this. If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before. Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media. They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him. You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?" I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."

We understand and we're sorry.

I'm not sorry.

(08-20-2017, 02:43 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Dear Joe,

We're sorry.  You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault.  You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap.  These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this.  If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before.  Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media.  They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him.  You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?"  I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."  

We understand and we're sorry.

Tongue-in-cheek or sarcasm, right?

(08-20-2017, 02:43 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Dear Joe,

We're sorry.  You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault.  You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap.  These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this.  If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before.  Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media.  They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him.  You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?"  I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."  

We understand and we're sorry.

(08-20-2017, 02:47 PM)rfaulk34 Wrote: Tongue-in-cheek or sarcasm, right?

Partially.

(08-20-2017, 02:49 PM)Luvnit2 Wrote:

I'm not gonna lie. That made me laugh too. It's when i was pretty certain he was being tongue-in-cheek. 

He's good at making people miss in the open field/down field.

Can he get used to making people miss in the backfield ?

(08-20-2017, 02:52 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Partially.

Hmmm. I went back and read it a few more times. I can't find any part of it that shouldn't be. 

It's kind of like Todd Gurley with the Rams last year. Their line was so bad that he looked bad.

(08-20-2017, 03:00 PM)THE PISTONS Wrote: It's kind of like Todd Gurley with the Rams last year. Their line was so bad that he looked bad.

...and at least now Todd knows he can run behind the Rams' new left tackle.

That's the thing I have the most trouble with. We drafted 2 speedy skill players...and then fielded an offensive line that is going to have to make Dalton do a lot of quick passes thus not showcasing them. And the run blocking is bad. It was quite easy to see this coming.

(08-20-2017, 02:43 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Dear Joe,

We're sorry.  You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault.  You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap.  These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this.  If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before.  Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media.  They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him.  You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?"  I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."  

We understand and we're sorry.

Well, it's all over now.  We're goners.  The sky has fallen.  Not just a little of it but the whole damn thing.  The entire sky is laying in pieces at our feet.  Let's all revel in the hopelessness.

(08-20-2017, 03:17 PM)THE PISTONS Wrote: That's the thing I have the most trouble with. We drafted 2 speedy skill players...and then fielded an offensive line that is going to have to make Dalton do a lot of quick passes thus not showcasing them. And the run blocking is bad. It was quite easy to see this coming.

Yup mind b lowing really.

(08-20-2017, 02:46 PM)GreenCornBengal Wrote: I'm not sorry.

PeeWee Herman reference? Priceless.

But Mikey and Katie and their brood of brownites in the front office are so loyal to their picks. How could this be?

Are they not keeping their best o lineman? Are they picking terrible o lineman? Both?

Where is Fred when I need to be told where on the Brown's undercarriage I should be placing my tongue? I'm lost down here.

(08-20-2017, 02:43 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Dear Joe,

We're sorry.  You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault.  You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap.  These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this.  If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before.  Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media.  They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him.  You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?"  I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."  

We understand and we're sorry.

Very cleverly composed. LOL

I think Mixon tried too hard last night to make things happen. There were plays to be made, very few with this OL.

I never get why there's always an argument about whether fans are intelligent or not. Laugh all you want, I consider myself intelligent when it comes to the game of football. That's not saying I should be running an NFL team, that I should be a GM, or that I know more than anyone. It's just a simple statement that is true.

However, when it comes to the Bengals, I can guarantee without a doubt that I could match Mike Brown's postseason success if given 26 years to be the GM/run the team. That's the issue. We can say people are dumb, we can act better than others, we can call people out, but at the end of the day, anyone on this board could match our owner/GM's postseason success. I would also bet that the overwhelming majority of fans on this board would hire people to try and help them win and wouldn't be able to be seriously questioned about their desire to win like our current owner/GM.

(08-20-2017, 05:47 PM)TKUHL Wrote: I think Mixon tried too hard last night to make things happen. There were plays to be made, very few with this OL.

I kind of think this too. Hell, Two Yard Jeremy continued to put his head down and plow last night. I'm liking what I'm seeing so far out of 32.

(08-20-2017, 02:43 PM)Fan_in_Kettering Wrote: Dear Joe,

We're sorry.  You're on your way to be considered an NFL bust but it won't be your fault.  You're lining up behind an offensive line that couldn't open a can of tuna much less open an A- or B-gap.  These guys would try to open a door that says "Pull" by pushing so please know we don't blame you for this.  If you continually run toward where a gap should form and you find yourself colliding with Russell Bodine's posterior instead, we understand. It happened to Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard so it's not like we haven't seen this before.  Those two guys hit more butts than a proctologist.

Here in Cincinnati you'll find a highly "football educated" fan base so don't listen to the media.  They'll claim it's all you but those of us who truly follow the Bengals understand no great runner makes it big without a great offensive line in front of him.  You had one at Oklahoma so I know you know what an effective offensive line looks like.

Maybe you could help Paul Alexander by occasionally asking, "Wasn't there supposed to be a hole there?" or, "Who was supposed to pick up that linebacker who caught me from behind while I was trying to find an open gap?"  I suspect those questions have never crossed his mind but you could always use piano references like, "Coach, we have 'A Major' problem where there should be three sharps on the staff but I'm getting squashed flat."  

We understand and we're sorry.

What did Hill average last nite.. 4.7.. take that all year.. I thought Mixon looked a bit tentative .. i believe Munoz mentioned that on TV last night.. Hill was more assertive i felt..