How big is the town? 200, 500, 1000 people?

About two thirds of the way through the story, you could have the main character just deflate after yet another person finds out about the money but soon gathers themselves up to do what needs done.

Every so often when the list of people gets to big, there could be a "Killing Spree" of different secondary characters killing each other off. You don't need specifics, just show someone tossing dirt.

I do think that somewhere close to the end, the main character is seen digging a grave but so many people have been murdered thus far that they uncover a grave from someone else's kill. Or make the ending scene of the main character digging and uncovering the final grave then pulling back to show hundreds of mounds of dirt out in the country side. Kind of like running out of room?

Ways for murder
Stabbings
Shootings
Poison
Blunt force trauma
Torture
Characters getting revenge
Put a little Salem Witch Trials stuff going on
Make references to other great writings

It would be cool to have a wife nag the husband to death, you know he just couldn't take it anymore and kills himself in a creative and gruesome way. Maybe have him tie a rope around his neck, handcuff his hands behind his back, put his forehead on a closet door and his heels back against the closet wall. As the wife is walking through the house nagging and just ragging on her husband, she opens the closet door making the husband fall forward out of the closet, the rope tightens and snaps his neck.

You know a really good movie I liked a lot was "7 Psychopaths". If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's good.

If I think of more stuff, I share it if you want. If my ideas suck just say, "Neb, your ideas suck, go away!"

Got a little Ladykillers to it. Only with murders instead of accidents. I like it.

I like the idea of a mini- Witch Trial. A church group gets together to discuss the unholy murders going on and decide that "something has to be done!!!".... which of course means killing more people.

I also like the idea of a group of neophyte killers assembled around someone tied up and trying to figure out how to kill them. They try different things without success ("Nope. He's still breathin'!"). Finally, one person does something utterly horrible that does kill the person, and everyone else is so horrified that they decide to kill that person... possibly in the same manner!

(10-22-2017, 10:27 AM)StoneTheCrow Wrote: Got a little Ladykillers to it. Only with murders instead of accidents. I like it.

I was kinda envisioning it with a Clue vibe.



Although admittedly, I've never seen Ladykillers.

I would also like to throw in the idea of a suicide gone wrong.

One of the characters is going to off themselves(because of guilt of killing or know of the killings)but changes his/her mind only to cause the death of another character.

If it was another murderer who had no remorse... you could have the chickened out person make some snide jokes about it.

You could also throw in a scenario that might happen in town where bodies could be disposed of or to hide the murders.

Like a barn burning / land explosion.

Just trying to get the remains to the site might be of good dark comic fun.

Another classic twist is someone who is presumed dead is not.

Lastly the unknown killer who has ties to the suitcase may be sadistic and testing the people of each little town.

This just being one of many to prove a point that greed is everywhere.

You could really make a point of this by having the people in the town be preachy about "city folk" and how the world seems to be going to hell.

Especially the dialog in the diner before the large man with the suitcase shows up.

This is where the beginning of urban sprawl, hippies, disco, and other topics could come into play.

A Vietnam vet could also be a character.

Sorry, I have a vivid imagination. LOL

(10-21-2017, 03:38 PM)PhilHos Wrote: My quick thoughts (some of which may have already been shared):

There's no limit you the number of characters you can kill. Just keep each dearth original and either funny or unexpected.

Don't show what's in the bag. Leave it a mystery. At the end, the very last scene could be the camera zooming in and the audience will finally see why everyone is killing each other. As the inside starts to come into view BAM credits roll.

Have a couple completely ridiculous kills but only a couple and one of them needs to be completely out of nowhere (think Samuel L. Jackson's death in that shark movie).

You should have a truly horrible person (like racist, sexist, bully, etc) that people think is the killer and WANT to see dead but don't kill him till the end (or not at all).

Have a character that learns about the bag AFTER he's killed a couple people. ("Sheesh, Jim Bob, you really want that bag." "What bag?")

That's what I got for now.


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Lotta great stuff here.  You have a mighty fine twisted side and very creative too.  Thank you and keep 'em coming.

(10-22-2017, 08:15 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: How did people come to know about the contents of the briefcase? There were only 2 people.

I visioned while reading this many of the future to be culprits, killers or what have you at a church service in the beginning, thus labeling them as god fearing people, but greed will eventually take over. If not church, something of a wholesome view (scout leader, teacher, pastor, police officer, grandma, etc) of those who would be involved to give more of a "I didn't see that coming" reaction.

I don't think you can write too many deaths. However, the creativity of each will make a huge difference. Some creative ways to kill would be things like an exploding didlo, having your face shaved off with a treadmill - and maybe burying someone alive. Just tossing some things at you. My sense of humor aint the greatest at 7am. However, once I have a few beers this afternoon? HEHE - My mind will be turning.

Pure gold.  Pure, solid, hilariously twisted gold.

(10-22-2017, 09:00 AM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: How big is the town? 200, 500, 1000 people?

About two thirds of the way through the story, you could have the main character just deflate after yet another person finds out about the money but soon gathers themselves up to do what needs done.

Every so often when the list of people gets to big, there could be a "Killing Spree" of different secondary characters killing each other off. You don't need specifics, just show someone tossing dirt.

I do think that somewhere close to the end, the main character is seen digging a grave but so many people have been murdered thus far that they uncover a grave from someone else's kill. Or make the ending scene of the main character digging and uncovering the final grave then pulling back to show hundreds of mounds of dirt out in the country side. Kind of like running out of room?

Ways for murder
Stabbings
Shootings
Poison
Blunt force trauma
Torture
Characters getting revenge
Put a little Salem Witch Trials stuff going on
Make references to other great writings

It would be cool to have a wife nag the husband to death, you know he just couldn't take it anymore and kills himself in a creative and gruesome way. Maybe have him tie a rope around his neck, handcuff his hands behind his back, put his forehead on a closet door and his heels back against the closet wall. As the wife is walking through the house nagging and just ragging on her husband, she opens the closet door making the husband fall forward out of the closet, the rope tightens and snaps his neck.

You know a really good movie I liked a lot was "7 Psychopaths". If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's good.

If I think of more stuff, I share it if you want. If my ideas suck just say, "Neb, your ideas suck, go away!"

Neb, your ideas--the opposite of suck.  

I have to say, I am blown away by the quantity and quality of the ideas in just one day. In a little over 24 hours, this thing is already twice as good as it was yesterday.

My best idea--asking you guys. I am really impressed with the wit and cleverness and appropriate amount of dementedness coming from all directions here. And, by all means keep on with it. Any and all ideas accepted and appreciated.

This would be a pretty good story all on its own--a group of football fans who hardly know each other write devastatingly funny script. It takes a village to raise a good greed and murder tale.

I think we could have a big winner on our hands. Nothing like this has ever been done before.

(10-22-2017, 12:49 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: I would also like to throw in the idea of a suicide gone wrong.

One of the characters is going to off themselves(because of guilt of killing or know of the killings)but changes his/her mind only to cause the death of another character.

If it was another murderer who had no remorse... you could have the chickened out person make some snide jokes about it.

You could also throw in a scenario that might happen in town where bodies could be disposed of or to hide the murders.

Like a barn burning / land explosion.

Just trying to get the remains to the site might be of good dark comic fun.

Another classic twist is someone who is presumed dead is not.

Lastly the unknown killer who has ties to the suitcase may be sadistic and testing the people of each little town.

This just being one of many to prove a point that greed is everywhere.

You could really make a point of this by having the people in the town be preachy about "city folk" and how the world seems to be going to hell.

Especially the dialog in the diner before the large man with the suitcase shows up.

This is where the beginning of urban sprawl, hippies, disco, and other topics could come into play.

A Vietnam vet could also be a character.

Sorry, I have a vivid imagination.  LOL

Clearly.  And a boatload of great ideas.

(10-22-2017, 09:00 AM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: How big is the town? 200, 500, 1000 people?

About two thirds of the way through the story, you could have the main character just deflate after yet another person finds out about the money but soon gathers themselves up to do what needs done.

Every so often when the list of people gets to big, there could be a "Killing Spree" of different secondary characters killing each other off. You don't need specifics, just show someone tossing dirt.

I do think that somewhere close to the end, the main character is seen digging a grave but so many people have been murdered thus far that they uncover a grave from someone else's kill. Or make the ending scene of the main character digging and uncovering the final grave then pulling back to show hundreds of mounds of dirt out in the country side. Kind of like running out of room?

Ways for murder
Stabbings
Shootings
Poison
Blunt force trauma
Torture
Characters getting revenge
Put a little Salem Witch Trials stuff going on
Make references to other great writings

It would be cool to have a wife nag the husband to death, you know he just couldn't take it anymore and kills himself in a creative and gruesome way. Maybe have him tie a rope around his neck, handcuff his hands behind his back, put his forehead on a closet door and his heels back against the closet wall. As the wife is walking through the house nagging and just ragging on her husband, she opens the closet door making the husband fall forward out of the closet, the rope tightens and snaps his neck.

You know a really good movie I liked a lot was "7 Psychopaths". If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's good.

If I think of more stuff, I share it if you want. If my ideas suck just say, "Neb, your ideas suck, go away!"

Call it a thousand.

If there is a police officer, he could help conceal or hide the killings. Something of purging forgiveness until?

And let's not forget the guy on his Harley who has a chick on the back driving down the road with something that has a low clearance, he ducks and ride underneath as her head is severed off ans falls to the side of the road while he still rides. Could be a good ending as well.

(10-22-2017, 02:16 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: And let's not forget the guy on his Harley who has a chick on the back driving down the road with something that has a low clearance, he ducks and ride underneath as her head is severed off ans falls to the side of the road while he still rides. Could be a good ending as well.

Lid off can, worms everywhere.  I knew you'd have plenty to add.

(10-22-2017, 02:21 PM)McC Wrote: Lid off can, worms everywhere.  I knew you'd have plenty to add.

Ohh, I foresee a fishing death now. LOL. 

The nagging wife is the mother of the 20 year old waitress.

The waitress gets home and tells her mom about the suitcase, but the mom already knows since the owner of the diner called to tell the mom about it. The owner of the diner and the waitresses mom are a secret item.

The mom proceeds to tell her daughter that her father really isn't her father and can't figure out why the daughter hasn't put it together how she was conceived and born while her father was in some other country deep in the jungle or something stupid like that, for one and a half years. She then says that her and her boss have been hot and heavy for a long time and the daughters face turns white since she killed her boss. The mom tells her not to worry because her real father died long ago "mysteriously".

The daughter walks down the hall to her room and see who she thought was her father hanging inches from the floor just squirming away and in a graspy whisper says "Help Me!". The mother comes storming down the hall nagging again saying, "I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU'D MESS THIS UP TOO" and sits on his shoulders bouncing up and down to finish the job.

"Should we call the police or just bury him" the mother asks and the daughter after a little panic says "Didnt he have life insurance?" and the mother says "Yes! and with a suicide clause too!".

As has been stated by others, don't reveal anything more about the suitcase or the man who delivered it. This way you have an idea already for a prequel!

UNLESS... you want to add a nice twist at the end.

Example: After all is said and done, one of the residents will be left holding the bag. Have a new stranger come to town at the end announcing that he works for Brinks and is searching for his missing colleague who was to deliver an inheritance to the individual in possession of the money.

OR

The town was named the kindest in America by some entity (AAA for example), and the money was a grant to the residents to be evenly distributed amongst them.

(10-22-2017, 04:44 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: As has been stated by others, don't reveal anything more about the suitcase or the man who delivered it.  This way you have an idea already for a prequel!

UNLESS...  you want to add a nice twist at the end.  

Example: After all is said and done, one of the residents will be left holding the bag.  Have a new stranger come to town at the end announcing that he works for Brinks and is searching for his missing colleague who was to deliver an inheritance to the individual in possession of the money.

OR

The town was named the kindest in America by some entinty (AAA for example), and the money was a grant to the residents to be evenly distributed amongst them.

Niiiice.  I like the way you think.

Kinda like being the catalyst for all these very clever ideas. And so many of them.

(10-22-2017, 09:00 AM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: I do think that somewhere close to the end, the main character is seen digging a grave but so many people have been murdered thus far that they uncover a grave from someone else's kill.

Here's an idea: one of the characters is digging a hole to bury someone only to uncover someone else who was buried alive. This person kills the digger. Then the original body can turn out to still be alive and kills the buried guy.

Another idea: have a character who makes a stupid pun or comment after each death and ends up dying in the most puntastic way (like he says "beats the shit out of me" and ends up getting beaten to death evacuating his bowels).

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