Has anyone had a friend asked to crash at their place for a night or two and then ended up staying longer and there's nothing you can do about it because they're your friend?

My friend used to own a bar, and we'd go there all the time and I'd never pay a dime. And I'm not saying that like I owe him or he thinks I owe him, because he did it because we were friends, but I probably ran up thousands of dollars. He's also paid for me whenever we've ended up at random bars over the years.

Fast-forward to recently and he breaks up with his girlfriend and she kicks him out. He texts me and asks if he can crash for the night, which I obviously say yes.

However, he doesn't leave the next day or the day after, and he's not making himself at home or anything but just crashing on the couch and not eating much food or anything.

We get to talking one night at dinner and he's talking about getting everything in his life in order and says "I should hopefully have enough money to get my own place BY THE END OF MARCH, START OF APRIL."

WHAT?!



From one night to now possibly MONTHS?

Yesterday, he said it would only be a few more weeks, but I don't know what the hell to believe. I told him he doesn't need to pay me rent because he needs to save money, but he's also been drinking a lot.

Anyone else had a friend overstay their welcome? What did you do? What should I do?

I am familiar with your situation, and I have an answer. Just start hitting on the guy or try to sleep with him on the couch. He'll find another place real quick. Or else you will get a blowjob. Either way you win.

But seriously, if this guy let you run up thousands of dollars just "because you are friends" then you should have no problem letting him crash at your place for a few weeks "because you are friends".

Sounds like your friend might be at a low point in his life. You mention that he USED to own a bar, what does he do for a living now? His girlfriend kicked him out, and he drinks a lot.

Sounds to me like you may have to start a conversation, find out where his head is. If he's blowing money on booze, and likely eating out a lot, that's going to really inhibit his ability to save up any significant amount of money. Obviously, you don't want to hurt his feelings, so you'll likely want to pick your moment carefully. Perhaps at a time when just you and he are hanging out?

(02-22-2018, 06:26 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: Has anyone had a friend asked to crash at their place for a night or two and then ended up staying longer and there's nothing you can do about it because they're your friend?  

My friend used to own a bar, and we'd go there all the time and I'd never pay a dime.  And I'm not saying that like I owe him or he thinks I owe him, because he did it because we were friends, but I probably ran up thousands of dollars.  He's also paid for me whenever we've ended up at random bars over the years.

Fast-forward to recently and he breaks up with his girlfriend and she kicks him out.  He texts me and asks if he can crash for the nigh, which I obviously say yes.  

However, he doesn't leave the next day or the day after, and he's not making himself at home or anything but just crashing on the couch and not eating much food or anything.  

We get to talking one night at dinner and he's talking about getting everything in his life in order and says "I should hopefully have enough money to get my own place BY THE END OF MARCH, START OF APRIL."

WHAT?!



From one night to now possibly MONTHS?

Yesterday, he said it would only be a few more weeks, but I don't know what the hell to believe.  I told him he doesn't need to pay me rent because he needs to save money, but he's also been drinking a lot.

Anyone else had a friend overstay their welcome?  What did you do?  What should I do?

Gotta show the friend some tough love.....  Unless you feel you do owe him.

Brad do you own your own place. or rent or still live with parents.  cause it makes a little difference on how to get out of the situation

especially easy if you still live at home with the folks.   "Sorry man I love you like a brother but you cant stay here anymore" 


Now if hes only been there a few days so far....  And your losing your patience there must be more. 

But best way if he is truly your friend is just be honest with him...  friends don't lie to friends to save face. that's why their friends.   so if you have issue let him know.

(02-22-2018, 07:08 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Sounds like your friend might be at a low point in his life. You mention that he USED to own a bar, what does he do for a living now? His girlfriend kicked him out, and he drinks a lot.

Sounds to me like you may have to start a conversation, find out where his head is. If he's blowing money on booze, and likely eating out a lot, that's going to really inhibit his ability to save up any significant amount of money. Obviously, you don't want to hurt his feelings, so you'll likely want to pick your moment carefully. Perhaps at a time when just you and he are hanging out?

I didn’t run up thousands of dollars..... that was an exaggeration, but it was a lot.

Plus, he text me just about every time wanting to go out and I’d offer to pay. Plus, even if it would have been that much for customers, I’m thinking about how much bars mark-up drinks, so not like he was losing much.

I did tell him he needs to get his life in order and he said “I know” and hasn’t been drinking as much. My family has also been out-of-town, so he’s been driving me to my presentations, appointments, and wherever else.

I forget what he does now...... maybe sales?

(02-22-2018, 07:22 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: Gotta show the friend some tough love.....  Unless you feel you do owe him.

Brad do you own your own place. or rent or still live with parents.  cause it makes a little difference on how to get out of the situation

especially easy if you still live at home with the folks.   "Sorry man I love you like a brother but you cant stay here anymore" 


Now if hes only been there a few days so far....  And your losing your patience there must be more. 

But best way if he is truly your friend is just be honest with him...  friends don't lie to friends to save face. that's why their friends.   so if you have issue let him know.

I think I’ll give him another week or two and then put my crippled foot down.

Thanks for the advice!

Meh, your caving to your inconvenience to easily. Just let the guy stay and be a friend. He will never forget what you did when he was at a low point. There might be a time when you need the same favor in your life. End of March isn't that far away if you are friends like you claim. Plus, it sounds like the guy is helping you out with some things you can't do yourself. Don't let that go unnoticed.

Good luck brad...

Just start pulling practical jokes on him.  When he's sleeping on your couch one night, take a bag of flour and dump it all over him, then nut punch him and yell, "Gotcha!" 
When he's in the shower, take another bag of flour and open up the shower curtain and throw the whole flour bag on him.  Tap him on the nuts and yell, "Gotcha" again. 
When he's reclining on in your favorite chair, go up behind him and tip him over backwards.  Dump a bag of flour on him and tap him on the nutsack again and yell, "Gotcha".
When its your night to cook dinner for you guys, plant some really hot Ghost Peppers in his food.  As he's eating it, hand him a glass of milk filled with ExLax to ease his pain. 



This works every time building camaraderie between you guys.  Plus, it'll make the time go faster while he's deciding on when to move out.   

(02-23-2018, 01:49 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Just start pulling practical jokes on him.   

Your not thinking. These are not wheel chair friendly practical jokes? Examples below:

Quote:When he's sleeping on your couch one night, take a bag of flour and dump it all over him, then nut punch him and yell, "Gotcha!"

Ok, Brad will pretty much already be a dick level if the guy is on the couch. Once he nut punches, the flour blowback is going to go right back in his face. Not to mention the reactionary leg kick that connects Brad in the chin like Chuck Norris just entered the living room? 

Quote:When he's in the shower, take another bag of flour and open up the shower curtain and throw the whole flour bag on him.  Tap him on the nuts and yell, "Gotcha" again. 

Ok, so now Brad is at dick level again (coincidence? I think not). So, water gets on the floor, Brad tries to quickly wheel himself away, Hydroplanes wildly out of control while covered in flour and water and face connects with the door knob. Now Brad has a crooked jaw and a broken nose. WTF?

Quote:When he's reclining on in your favorite chair, go up behind him and tip him over backwards.  Dump a bag of flour on him and tap him on the nutsack again and yell, "Gotcha".

 
Think about this for a moment. Go ahead, I'll give you a few seconds.
1.
2.
3.
 Okay, Okay okay. Brad is always in his favorite chair? This means his friend would be in his lap, reclined backwards. Now Brad is supposed to cover him in flour again and punch him in the nutsack? The fetal position reaction from the nut punch will ass punch Brad in the sack as well. Not to mention you have Brad covered in flour again?

Quote:When its your night to cook dinner for you guys, plant some really hot Ghost Peppers in his food.  As he's eating it, hand him a glass of milk filled with ExLax to ease his pain. 

Now this one might work. However, all you need to do Brad is after handing him the glass, throw marbles and flour on the floor. Do a burnout and shrapnel his nuts with marbles and flour as you speed off into the next room safe and sound. Just don't be surprised at the payback, which may or may not include tire flattening jacks spread about the floor.


Good Luck! 

(02-23-2018, 01:49 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Just start pulling practical jokes on him.  When he's sleeping on your couch one night, take a bag of flour and dump it all over him, then nut punch him and yell, "Gotcha!" 
When he's in the shower, take another bag of flour and open up the shower curtain and throw the whole flour bag on him.  Tap him on the nuts and yell, "Gotcha" again. 
When he's reclining on in your favorite chair, go up behind him and tip him over backwards.  Dump a bag of flour on him and tap him on the nutsack again and yell, "Gotcha".
When its your night to cook dinner for you guys, plant some really hot Ghost Peppers in his food.  As he's eating it, hand him a glass of milk filled with ExLax to ease his pain. 



This works every time building camaraderie between you guys.  Plus, it'll make the time go faster while he's deciding on when to move out.   

there seems to be a theme here with nuts and flour

(02-23-2018, 08:44 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: Meh, your caving to your inconvenience to easily. Just let the guy stay and be a friend. He will never forget what you did when he was at a low point. There might be a time when you need the same favor in your life. End of March isn't that far away if you are friends like you claim. Plus, it sounds like the guy is helping you out with some things you can't do yourself. Don't let that go unnoticed.

Now he's saying March 4th, which wouldn't be too bad at all, and it's really not that bad with him here because he works and everything.  

It's just that I have no privacy or anything.  Example, I had a babe that I wanted to bring home the other night but can't because she knew he'd be in the next room and would be hearing everything and it's just not what a girl wants.  I also have another girl that wants to hang out but it's not like I can be like "oh, this is Jon, he's living on my couch.....  hope you don't mind!"

(02-23-2018, 01:19 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: Good luck brad...

Thanks.

I'm really hoping he's serious and he'll be gone in two weeks.

(02-23-2018, 06:17 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: it's not like I can be like "oh, this is Jon, he's living on my couch.....  hope you don't mind!"

You could....  She might say things like oh does he like to watch or he could join us...  Neither would be fun though hahahaha

(02-23-2018, 06:41 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: You could....  She might say things like oh does he like to watch or he could join us...  Neither would be fun though hahahaha

Or I could have Jon videotape for my website..............  

(02-23-2018, 06:51 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: Or I could have Jon videotape for my website..............  

See? Now your getting it. Sometimes a 3rd wheel is not a bad thing (no pun intended).

Establish a time line for his benefit and put it in writing. If all you say is true, allowing him a place to sleep until April is small compensation. But sit with him and make a plan for the future, No one likes uncertainty. .

(02-23-2018, 06:17 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: I'm really hoping he's serious and he'll be gone in two weeks.

This is where wives come in handy. If you were married, I guarantee you wouldn’t be in this situation, lol.

(02-26-2018, 08:56 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: This is where wives come in handy. If you were married, I guarantee you wouldn’t be in this situation, lol.

(02-23-2018, 06:17 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: It's just that I have no privacy or anything.  Example, I had a babe that I wanted to bring home the other night but can't because she knew he'd be in the next room and would be hearing everything and it's just not what a girl wants.  I also have another girl that wants to hang out but it's not like I can be like "oh, this is Jon, he's living on my couch.....  hope you don't mind!"

This is where door locks between rooms and a volume control on the stereo are handy

(02-26-2018, 03:42 PM)Sabretooth Wrote: This is where door locks between rooms and a volume control on the stereo are handy

I can close the door and he’d never creep but it’s still just the whole thing that would freak a babe out!

(02-26-2018, 05:07 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: I can close the door and he’d never creep but it’s still just the whole thing that would freak a babe out!

could always be like Dude heres 10-20 bucks get lost for about 3 hours...