This is kind of in the vein of the toilet seat thread...

I am attracted to a variety of women, including some who are thin, some who are thick, some who are athletic and some who are not athletic, tall and short, various hair colors, etc.

Now, I understand most of those traits are things people have little control over. Genetics dictates body type, athleticism, height, hair color, etc. to a great extent. And it always seems a little strange and unfair to like or dislike someone for something over which they have little or no control. And yet I realize we all find some traits more attractive than others and we all have different likes and dislikes.

That being said, some guys like fat women, and for some it seems the fatter the better. Fair enough. And for some women it is a genetic thing and for others it is just an I don't care thing, but whatever the reason they are fat. Why is it wrong to say so?

It is o.k. to call someone tall or short or thin - but fat is somehow now an unspeakable word. But it isn't like "everyone" decided just to be polite and not talk about it. No, fat women now insist on calling themselves and each other "curvy." They are most definitely not curvy. A woman with an hourglass figure (or half an hour) is curvy. And a woman who is thin is not curvy. Both can be quite attractive. Kiera Knightley: thin, attractive, but not curvy. Scarlett Johansson: curvy, attractive. Melissa McCarthy: fat, and you know for a fat woman rather attractive, but not curvy.

So again, I understand some guys like a stick figure, some like an hourglass, and some like a whole lotta woman. So why can't we just call a skinny gal skinny, a curvy gal curvy, and a fat gal fat?

Why do fat women now insist on referring to themselves and their fat friends as "curvy?"

I find this really annoying. I am I the only one?

It has to do with the judgment that comes with the word. I know women that will proudly proclaim their fatness and they have more self-esteem about themselves. But women that struggle with their body image can have a problem with the word. For people that have been overweight for most or all of their lives, we have lived a life filled with ridicule. We hear someone laughing near us, we often assume a joke was made at our expense. When talking to us, we figure your thoughts are filled with judgement directed towards us.

So anyway, women that try to avoid the word fat are often trying to reclaim some of that self-esteem by avoiding the negativity associated with the word.

(09-24-2015, 08:12 PM)Belsnickel Wrote: So anyway, women that try to avoid the word fat are often trying to reclaim some of that self-esteem by avoiding the negativity associated with the word.

Right. "Fat" can have such a negative connotation that I don't blame anyone for not wanting be described as such. Fat usually accompanies "lazy," or implies a lack of intelligence. Not traits with which one wants to be associated.

If a large woman wants to be referred to as "curvy," why should I insist on calling her anytheing else? I guess I see it as simple respect.

(09-24-2015, 08:12 PM)Belsnickel Wrote: It has to do with the judgment that comes with the word. I know women that will proudly proclaim their fatness and they have more self-esteem about themselves. But women that struggle with their body image can have a problem with the word. For people that have been overweight for most or all of their lives, we have lived a life filled with ridicule. We hear someone laughing near us, we often assume a joke was made at our expense. When talking to us, we figure your thoughts are filled with judgement directed towards us.

So anyway, women that try to avoid the word fat are often trying to reclaim some of that self-esteem by avoiding the negativity associated with the word.

OK, but here is what I don't understand. Skinny women and "stacked" women can and do have similar issues. The thin are self conscious about being judged as anorexic or "built like a boy" and the curvy ones think people discount them too - women are jealous of their sex appeal and men objectify them and ogle them. Yet I have never heard a thin woman call herself curvy or a curvy woman call herself "boyish."

A lot of people are a-holes. I have been teased my whole life about my appearance. I am tall and thin. I was teased more for the latter in childhood and more for the former in adulthood. To this day I am regularly called "Lurch," asked if I am "eight feet tall?" etc.

So, it is not only fat folks who are objectified because of their looks and self conscious and have the sorts of thoughts you described when they hear someone laughing or when someone new meets them... I just have not encountered another group who took a descriptor that was inaccurate and self-applied it. Thin guys get razzed about being "98 pound weaklings" but don't call themselves "stocky." Fat guys get the fat shaming but don't call themselves "lean."  And even the muscular guys have people hating on them for being "muscle bound" but don't call themselves "average." Again, people are a-holes. But of all the various men and women who are judged, mocked, objectified for their looks only one group has reacted the way the "curvy women movement" has.

Reclaiming self-esteem is great. I am cool with a woman saying, "I like being fat" or "I don't care" and/or my significant other thinks I am gorgeous. But referring to themselves as "curvy" seems like denial or delusion to me, and not healthy. It would be like me calling myself short - it is just a lie.

(09-24-2015, 08:22 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: Right.  "Fat" can have such a negative connotation that I don't blame anyone for not wanting be described as such.  Fat usually accompanies "lazy," or implies a lack of intelligence.  Not traits with which one wants to be associated.  

If a large woman wants to be referred to as "curvy," why should I insist on calling her anytheing else?  I guess I see it as simple respect.

I guess there was a similar phenomenon around "black" which resulted in the peculiar "African American" nomenclature, which I find problematic, but that is another story.

I guess I like the way Randy Newman dealt with it better. He was a short guy who wrote a song making fun of people who made fun of short people. But, he didn't call himself tall.

And if curvy is the new fat, then what are the women who actually are curvy going to call themselves? Hexagonal?

Part of this is I am kind of a language geek. And, I also hate seeing people being picked on and judged for superficial things, so I do sympathize with people who are hurt by others comments about their appearance. I don't like people being mean to fat women (or any women, or men, or children)   But it seems to me like the curvy train is on the wrong track.

(09-24-2015, 07:58 PM)xxlt Wrote: I am attracted to a variety of women, including some who are thin, some who are thick, some who are athletic and some who are not athletic, tall and short, various hair colors, etc.

I am attracted to ones with vaginas.

(09-24-2015, 11:06 PM)Beaker Wrote: I am attracted to ones with vaginas.

Bigot.
Why you hatin' on Caitlyn? 

Booo!
Boooooo!

Boo this man!


/sarcasm 

It's taboo to point out that someone is overweight now. I see all of the time, things talking about "be beautiful in your skin" or "big is beautiful". Half of me loves it....everyone should be ok with who they are, right? Everyone should be happy and no one deserves to be made fun of due to their physical appearance. BUT....the other half of me hates it, because it is NOT OK to be obese. That's not me trying to hurt someone's feelings....I'm legitimately worried about the health of a good portion of the population. It's an epidemic, and campaigns such as "big is beautiful" is glorifying obesity, whether that is the original intent or not.

I love everyone...well, most everyone. I just want you all to live long, healthy, happy lives, and being overweight can prevent that.

(09-24-2015, 08:22 PM)Awful Llama Wrote: Right.  "Fat" can have such a negative connotation that I don't blame anyone for not wanting be described as such.  Fat usually accompanies "lazy," or implies a lack of intelligence.  Not traits with which one wants to be associated.  

If a large woman wants to be referred to as "curvy," why should I insist on calling her anytheing else?  I guess I see it as simple respect.

agreed

(09-24-2015, 11:53 PM)Johnny Cupcakes Wrote: It's taboo to point out that someone is overweight now. I see all of the time, things talking about "be beautiful in your skin" or "big is beautiful". Half of me loves it....everyone should be ok with who they are, right? Everyone should be happy and no one deserves to be made fun of due to their physical appearance. BUT....the other half of me hates it, because it is NOT OK to be obese. That's not me trying to hurt someone's feelings....I'm legitimately worried about the health of a good portion of the population. It's an epidemic, and campaigns such as "big is beautiful" is glorifying obesity, whether that is the original intent or not.

I love everyone...well, most everyone. I just want you all to live long, healthy, happy lives, and being overweight can prevent that.

Yeah, I turn 30 one week from today. I figure that's going to be about mid-life for me. Though in truth my heart is good, my cholesterol is fine, but the T2DM is going to get me.

(09-24-2015, 08:12 PM)Belsnickel Wrote: It has to do with the judgment that comes with the word. I know women that will proudly proclaim their fatness and they have more self-esteem about themselves. But women that struggle with their body image can have a problem with the word. For people that have been overweight for most or all of their lives, we have lived a life filled with ridicule. We hear someone laughing near us, we often assume a joke was made at our expense. When talking to us, we figure your thoughts are filled with judgement directed towards us.

So anyway, women that try to avoid the word fat are often trying to reclaim some of that self-esteem by avoiding the negativity associated with the word.

I'm sure there's something important here, but all I keep thinking is, man he is huge.

J/K I have no idea what you look like, only what you report.

Incidentally I see that vicariously through my neighbors.  Mother and son (father died).  He's in his early 30's and he's morbidly obese 450-500.  Mom is maybe 5'0 and probably 300.  I'll go out to dinner or to a movie with him from time to time, and you can see the double takes.  But it's probably hard not to look a second time.  and this is a guy who can't eat chocolate and has an extremely low sodium intake due to Menieres.

Curvy is just calling someone fat but allowing them to feel special about being fat. It gives them a false sense.

(09-25-2015, 10:29 AM)StLucieBengal Wrote: Curvy is just calling someone fat but allowing them to feel special about being fat.    It gives them a false sense.

Kind of like the term BBW?

(09-25-2015, 07:40 AM)Belsnickel Wrote: Yeah, I turn 30 one week from today. I figure that's going to be about mid-life for me. Though in truth my heart is good, my cholesterol is fine, but the T2DM is going to get me.

Well, is it a hereditary thing or a "food tastes good" thing?  I put on a lot of weight in the last few years due to becoming less active and eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  Recently, I cracked down on myself because I don't want to cut my life short all over some deep fried PB&J.  If it's something that you can control, you should...it just takes a bit of willpower.  If it's a more genetic thing, there are still measures that you can take to maximize your health and lifestyle.

(09-24-2015, 11:53 PM)Johnny Cupcakes Wrote: It's taboo to point out that someone is overweight now.  I see all of the time, things talking about "be beautiful in your skin" or "big is beautiful".  Half of me loves it....everyone should be ok with who they are, right?  Everyone should be happy and no one deserves to be made fun of due to their physical appearance.  BUT....the other half of me hates it, because it is NOT OK to be obese.  That's not me trying to hurt someone's feelings....I'm legitimately worried about the health of a good portion of the population.  It's an epidemic, and campaigns such as "big is beautiful" is glorifying obesity, whether that is the original intent or not.

I love everyone...well, most everyone.  I just want you all to live long, healthy, happy lives, and being overweight can prevent that.

I am glad it is not just me.

(09-24-2015, 07:58 PM)xxlt Wrote: This is kind of in the vein of the toilet seat thread...

I am attracted to a variety of women, including some who are thin, some who are thick, some who are athletic and some who are not athletic, tall and short, various hair colors, etc.

Now, I understand most of those traits are things people have little control over. Genetics dictates body type, athleticism, height, hair color, etc. to a great extent. And it always seems a little strange and unfair to like or dislike someone for something over which they have little or no control. And yet I realize we all find some traits more attractive than others and we all have different likes and dislikes.

That being said, some guys like fat women, and for some it seems the fatter the better. Fair enough. And for some women it is a genetic thing and for others it is just an I don't care thing, but whatever the reason they are fat. Why is it wrong to say so?

It is o.k. to call someone tall or short or thin - but fat is somehow now an unspeakable word. But it isn't like "everyone" decided just to be polite and not talk about it. No, fat women now insist on calling themselves and each other "curvy." They are most definitely not curvy. A woman with an hourglass figure (or half an hour) is curvy. And a woman who is thin is not curvy. Both can be quite attractive. Kiera Knightley: thin, attractive, but not curvy. Scarlett Johansson: curvy, attractive. Melissa McCarthy: fat, and you know for a fat woman rather attractive, but not curvy.

So again, I understand some guys like a stick figure, some like an hourglass, and some like a whole lotta woman. So why can't we just call a skinny gal skinny, a curvy gal curvy, and a fat gal fat?

Why do fat women now insist on referring to themselves and their fat friends as "curvy?"

I find this really annoying. I am I the only one?

being athletic and hair lenght/color are very much in ones control.

Thats like saying they cant help being 300lbs... BS.. BS... lol even with medical disorders one can keep good care of their body.

(09-25-2015, 10:41 AM)Johnny Cupcakes Wrote: Well, is it a hereditary thing or a "food tastes good" thing?  I put on a lot of weight in the last few years due to becoming less active and eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  Recently, I cracked down on myself because I don't want to cut my life short all over some deep fried PB&J.  If it's something that you can control, you should...it just takes a bit of willpower.  If it's a more genetic thing, there are still measures that you can take to maximize your health and lifestyle.

It's partly hereditary, but it's primarily an issue with the speed at which I eat. My teenage years and early twenties were spent running squad, school, and summers at a Boy Scout camp on staff. My meal times have always been very short and my eating habits reflect that and the fact that I used to not know when I'd next be able to grab a bite. So my brain doesn't catch up with my stomach. Combine that with the old rule growing up of cleaning your plate, well, there we have it.

Also, I'm a desk jockey now, so the sedentary lifestyle doesn't help.

(09-25-2015, 10:33 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Kind of like the term BBW?

Honestly I don't even know what that means.  

Big Black Wide ?

(09-24-2015, 11:53 PM)Johnny Cupcakes Wrote: It's taboo to point out that someone is overweight now.  I see all of the time, things talking about "be beautiful in your skin" or "big is beautiful".  Half of me loves it....everyone should be ok with who they are, right?  Everyone should be happy and no one deserves to be made fun of due to their physical appearance.  BUT....the other half of me hates it, because it is NOT OK to be obese.  That's not me trying to hurt someone's feelings....I'm legitimately worried about the health of a good portion of the population.  It's an epidemic, and campaigns such as "big is beautiful" is glorifying obesity, whether that is the original intent or not.

I love everyone...well, most everyone.  I just want you all to live long, healthy, happy lives, and being overweight can prevent that.

Agreed cupcake.

(09-24-2015, 11:53 PM)Johnny Cupcakes Wrote: I love everyone...well, most everyone.  I just want you all to live long, healthy, happy lives, and being overweight can prevent that.

  You sweet talker you.