You know how you don't realize how fast your feet are moving when just walking around until you stub your toe against something, well the same thing applies to your hands.  Yesterday I was reaching into the dryer to take out some clothes and caught my little finger on the edge of the opening. It bent my finger all the way back.  It did not "stick" like that so I did not have to pop it back into place.  But it hurt like bloody hell, and today my hand is all swollen up.  I can use all my fingers so I don't see any reason to go to the doctor, but I have a feeling it will be sore for a long time.  Luckily my job does not require any lifting.

Use that hand to self pleasure while it is swollen....it will feel like someone else.

(06-05-2019, 10:59 AM)Beaker Wrote: Use that hand to self pleasure while it is swollen....it will feel like someone else.

Wait. Which part feels like someone else? The hand or the part receiving? 

(06-05-2019, 10:59 AM)Beaker Wrote: Use that hand to self pleasure while it is swollen....it will feel like someone else.

Yeah, I have had to switch to the backdoor (thumb down). It is kind of freaky.

Like getting wasted and waking up next to a big girl with thick glasses and a gap in her teeth (Wait... too much detail).

Ok, like getting wasted and waking up next to a big girl. “Nailed it!”

(06-05-2019, 09:21 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Like getting wasted and waking up next to a big girl with thick glasses and a gap in her teeth (Wait... too much detail).

Ok, like getting wasted and waking up next to a big girl. “Nailed it!”

With long dirty nails.

(06-05-2019, 09:22 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: With long dirty nails.

I hope you vagina was uninjured.

(06-05-2019, 09:35 PM)bfine32 Wrote: I hope you vagina was uninjured.

I appreciate your concern, but she is just fine.  


When you get home tonight ask her for yourself.

(06-05-2019, 10:05 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I appreciate your concern, but she is just fine.  


When you get home tonight ask her for yourself.

I'm not coming over tonight Fred and I've told you before; It's not my home. I just visit. 

In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, " I bet you monsters must live interesting lives.." 
https://youtu.be/acfx4orazEk

Speaking of whacky domestic injuries..

On Memorial Day weekend, my brother in law was cooking on his gas grill. His wife notice the grease pan was starting to overflow. He grabs it to empty it, not even thinking that the thing was going to be hot.. He flings the thing off the deck, and into his back yard, and goes inside for some ice. Meanwhile, his wife decided to go down to the yard and retrieve the grease pan. On her first step down the stairs, she trips and falls the rest of the way down. Completely dislocated her elbow, surgery today. Hoping that they are both doing better in time for the 4th of July weekend, as they are scheduled to come join us for a Mountain retreat for a few days.

Did I forget to mention that they were drinking, when all this went down??

(06-07-2019, 11:50 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Speaking of whacky domestic injuries..

On Memorial Day weekend, my brother in law was cooking on his gas grill.  His wife notice the grease pan was starting to overflow.  He grabs it to empty it, not even thinking that the thing was going to be hot..  He flings the thing off the deck, and into his back yard, and goes inside for some ice.  Meanwhile, his wife decided to go down to the yard and retrieve the grease pan.  On her first step down the stairs, she trips and falls the rest of the way down.  Completely dislocated her elbow, surgery today.  Hoping that they are both doing better in time for the 4th of July weekend, as they are scheduled to come join us for a Mountain retreat for a few days.

Did I forget to mention that they were drinking, when all this went down??

Drunk at the time? Nahhh! Nobody ever does stupid stuff whilst drunk.. Well, there was that one time...... 

My mom actually broke and dislocated her little toe once when it caught on my brothers belt loop when he was laying on the living room floor watching TV.. She had a cast and had to use crutches for awhile..All for a little toe injury.. lol
I can't believe I'm laughing at my own mother's pain.. What kind of son am I? 

Frying bacon on the grill without foil or skillet was by far the dumbest shit I’ll ever admit to doing drunk. The only things worse than that I just can’t post out of shame and humiliation. And there’s a ton of it.

(06-09-2019, 12:11 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Frying bacon on the grill without foil or skillet was by far the dumbest shit I’ll ever admit to doing drunk. The only things worse than that I just can’t post out of shame and humiliation. And there’s a ton of it.

That's pretty mild stuff in comparison to probably 90% of the dumb shit you probably did drunk and have forgotten about.. Not that I personally ever did anything stupid when I was a chronic alcoholic..  However, my arrest record might tell a slightly different story...

(06-09-2019, 12:11 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Frying bacon on the grill without foil or skillet was by far the dumbest shit I’ll ever admit to doing drunk. The only things worse than that I just can’t post out of shame and humiliation. And there’s a ton of it.

When I moved into my first apartment, I got up one morning and decided to fry bacon in the nude. I only did that once.

(06-09-2019, 12:11 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Frying bacon on the grill without foil or skillet was by far the dumbest shit I’ll ever admit to doing drunk. The only things worse than that I just can’t post out of shame and humiliation. And there’s a ton of it.

I tried to boil macaroni in a glass casserole dish on the eye of a stove and it exploded.  Boiling water, mushy macaroni, and tiny pieces of hit broken glass all over the floor and running down into the stove.

And it was not at my house.

(06-10-2019, 11:33 AM)fredtoast Wrote: I tried to boil macaroni in a glass casserole dish on the eye of a stove and it exploded.  Boiling water, mushy macaroni, and tiny pieces of hit broken glass all over the floor and running down into the stove.

And it was not at my house.

You undoubtedly ate every single bite like a good little boy mommy made finish everything on your plate....right?  I'll be SHOCKED to find anything differently..