Bengals at Bills
Dalton. Goes. Off. Frustrated by the lack of a running game to offset the passing game, Dalton takes matters into his own hands and sets an NFL record RUSHING for 324 yards and half a TD. Not to be outdone, Dalton throws for a pedestrian 600 yards and 5 TDs.

Mixon and Gio both throw TD passes since they are unable to run the ball in.

Buffalo seeing this offensive display ends up seeing every player taking a dive, faking an injury. Buffalo mounts a comeback as they field a team filled with drunk fans, but alas they fall short.

Cincinnati wins 52.5 to 10

Ravens at Chiefs
Laughter fills the air as all the fans at Arrowhead and even the announcers find it side-splitting hilarious when the Ravens come out hyped and thinking they have a chance at winning the game.

Patrick Mahomes completes 100% of his passes while throwing 8 TDs and EVERY SINGLE PASS he throws, he does it while looking directly at Lamar Jackson. Jackson tries to do the same thing but because he's only a RB pretending to be a QB, he ends up throwing 4 INTs before he decides to try looking where he's throwing.

After going into halftime leading 105 to -7, the Chiefs decide to cut the Ravens some slack and play Len Dawson at QB for the 2nd half (Len came out of retirement for 1 day just for this game). Len ends up throwing for 5 more TDs as the Chiefs go on to win the game with a final score of 140 to 0.75

SHITsburgh at San Francisco
At first, Mason Rudolph plays like an actual QB and the game is close going into the half (score is 10-7 SF leading). After halftime, it's revealed that Ben Roethlisberger had raped, bound and gagged Garrapolo and raped him again before donning Jimmy's jersey and playing for San Fran intentionally playing poorly to try to help the Steelers win. He was discovered in the lockerroom trying to rape the water fountain ("It wanted me. Bad" Ben would later remark. Grammar Nazis everywhere cringed)

Garrapolo starts the 2nd half and proceeds to throw 4 TDs and 4 INTs. Interestingly enough, on every Garofalo INT, the Steelers fumble the ball right back after losing yardage on the INT return.

Chiefs win 38-7

Rams at Browns
Browns suck. They will lose infinity to zero.

(09-20-2019, 04:47 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Bengals at Bills
Dalton. Goes. Off. Frustrated by the lack of a running game to offset the passing game, Dalton takes matters into his own hands and sets an NFL record RUSHING for 324 yards and half a TD. Not to be outdone, Dalton throws for a pedestrian 600 yards and 5 TDs.

Mixon and Gio both throw TD passes since they are unable to run the ball in.

Buffalo seeing this offensive display ends up seeing every player taking a dive, faking an injury. Buffalo mounts a comeback as they field a team filled with drunk fans, but alas they fall short.

Cincinnati wins 52.5 to 10

Ravens at Chiefs
Laughter fills the air as all the fans at Arrowhead and even the announcers find it side-splitting hilarious when the Ravens come out hyped and thinking they have a chance at winning the game.

Patrick Mahomes completes 100% of his passes while throwing 8 TDs and EVERY SINGLE PASS he throws, he does it while looking directly at Lamar Jackson. Jackson tries to do the same thing but because he's only a RB pretending to be a QB, he ends up throwing 4 INTs before he decides to try looking where he's throwing.

After going into halftime leading 105 to -7, the Chiefs decide to cut the Ravens some slack and play Len Dawson at QB for the 2nd half (Len came out of retirement for 1 day just for this game). Len ends up throwing for 5 more TDs as the Chiefs go on to win the game with a final score of 140 to 0.75

SHITsburgh at San Francisco
At first, Mason Rudolph plays like an actual QB and the game is close going into the half (score is 10-7 SF leading). After halftime, it's revealed that Ben Roethlisberger had raped, bound and gagged Garrapolo and raped him again before donning Jimmy's jersey and playing for San Fran intentionally playing poorly to try to help the Steelers win. He was discovered in the lockerroom trying to rape the water fountain ("It wanted me. Bad" Ben would later remark. Grammar Nazis everywhere cringed)

Garrapolo starts the 2nd half and proceeds to throw 4 TDs and 4 INTs. Interestingly enough, on every Garofalo INT, the Steelers fumble the ball right back after losing yardage on the INT return.

Chiefs win 38-7

Rams at Browns
Browns suck. They will lose infinity to zero.

Smell this

(09-20-2019, 04:47 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Bengals at Bills
Dalton. Goes. Off. Frustrated by the lack of a running game to offset the passing game, Dalton takes matters into his own hands and sets an NFL record RUSHING for 324 yards and half a TD. Not to be outdone, Dalton throws for a pedestrian 600 yards and 5 TDs.

Mixon and Gio both throw TD passes since they are unable to run the ball in.

Buffalo seeing this offensive display ends up seeing every player taking a dive, faking an injury. Buffalo mounts a comeback as they field a team filled with drunk fans, but alas they fall short.

Cincinnati wins 52.5 to 10

Ravens at Chiefs
Laughter fills the air as all the fans at Arrowhead and even the announcers find it side-splitting hilarious when the Ravens come out hyped and thinking they have a chance at winning the game.

Patrick Mahomes completes 100% of his passes while throwing 8 TDs and EVERY SINGLE PASS he throws, he does it while looking directly at Lamar Jackson. Jackson tries to do the same thing but because he's only a RB pretending to be a QB, he ends up throwing 4 INTs before he decides to try looking where he's throwing.

After going into halftime leading 105 to -7, the Chiefs decide to cut the Ravens some slack and play Len Dawson at QB for the 2nd half (Len came out of retirement for 1 day just for this game). Len ends up throwing for 5 more TDs as the Chiefs go on to win the game with a final score of 140 to 0.75

SHITsburgh at San Francisco
At first, Mason Rudolph plays like an actual QB and the game is close going into the half (score is 10-7 SF leading). After halftime, it's revealed that Ben Roethlisberger had raped, bound and gagged Garrapolo and raped him again before donning Jimmy's jersey and playing for San Fran intentionally playing poorly to try to help the Steelers win. He was discovered in the lockerroom trying to rape the water fountain ("It wanted me. Bad" Ben would later remark. Grammar Nazis everywhere cringed)

Garrapolo starts the 2nd half and proceeds to throw 4 TDs and 4 INTs. Interestingly enough, on every Garofalo INT, the Steelers fumble the ball right back after losing yardage on the INT return.

Chiefs win 38-7

Rams at Browns
Browns suck. They will lose infinity to zero.

That is some funny stuff my friend.I got a huge laugh reading this.so funny

(09-20-2019, 04:56 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: Smell this

Am I supposed to scratch it first?

(09-20-2019, 05:34 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Am I supposed to scratch it first?

You can scratch it or sniff it, which anyone you normally do.

(09-20-2019, 05:55 PM)ballsofsteel Wrote: You can scratch it or sniff it, which anyone you normally do.

I feel like this sentence is missing some words.

(09-20-2019, 06:11 PM)PhilHos Wrote: I feel like this sentence is missing some words.

Yes, because HE is also missing something - BALLS!

Someone tell OP this isn't the anime fan fiction section.

(09-20-2019, 07:24 PM)XsandOs Wrote: Yes, because HE is also missing something - BALLS!

Don't get mad cupcake.
Is Phyllis your wife? A husband and wife team posting together on a message board. Far out.

(09-21-2019, 07:01 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: Don't get mad cupcake.
Is Phyllis your wife? A husband and wife team posting together on a message board. Far out.

Has PhilHos hurt you so much, that you are now delving into elementary school level insults and name calling?

You poor child. I'm so sorry. PhilHos is a terrible guy!

How did the Chiefs win the Pitt-SF game?

Ravens remain in 1st place while the Bengals and Steelers remain winless.

(09-21-2019, 10:59 PM)BmorePat87 Wrote: Ravens remain in 1st place while the Bengals and Steelers remain winless.

Thank you Captain Obvious

(09-21-2019, 11:08 PM)XsandOs Wrote: Thank you Captain Obvious

Wait, you had to edit this post?

(09-22-2019, 01:11 AM)BmorePat87 Wrote: Wait, you had to edit this post?

Emoji didn't translate.

Again, thank you Captain.

I predict Phyllis and XO will tie the knot in the near future.

(09-22-2019, 08:02 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I predict Phyllis and XO will tie the knot in the near future.

You mean like you and Mayfield did?

(09-22-2019, 08:02 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I predict Phyllis and XO will tie the knot in the near future.

Did you wake up this morning wishing you had taken THE pill last night?

Bakertheyeastinfection, please make sure henceforth (that means from now on) you take THE pill - because according to CDC, guys like you need further protection.

(09-21-2019, 01:05 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: How did the Chiefs win the Pitt-SF game?

I was wondering that myself ... 

(09-22-2019, 02:28 AM)XsandOs Wrote: Emoji didn't translate.

Again, thank you Captain.

Damn, I bet having that emoji would have made it a half decent post.