Posts: 10,806
Threads: 1,335
Reputation:
39636
Joined: May 2015
Location: Robbing Grandmas Of The Covid Vaccine In Northern Kentucky-Greater Cincinnati
Tonight, I had a babe over.
We're kissing and fooling around before we start the serious stuff and I'm like "hold on, I need to use the restroom first....... don't get up," and I climb over her.
As I'm trying to bring my second leg over, I fall, hit my mouth on my power wheelchair, chip a tooth and cut my lip.
Now, I have a chipped tooth and I'm spitting up blood.
Hopefully, we can get it fixed soon so I don't look like a complete hillbilly.
It pisses me off because my smile was the one thing that everyone loves about me.
It's not the center tooth, but it's just off to the right, so it's not THAT bad, but still.
Just the luck of the half-Irish cripple.
Posts: 40,628
Threads: 1,062
Joined: May 2015
I came up with almost the exact same story the first time a woman punched me in the mouth.
Posts: 16,125
Threads: 253
Reputation:
184720
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
You shoulda just said ahh that was nothing, wait till I start banging you on every piece of furniture in here.
Posts: 8,499
Threads: 28
Reputation:
96732
Joined: May 2015
(06-25-2018, 01:09 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I came up with almost the exact same story the first time a woman punched me in the mouth.
Me too
The water tastes funny when you're far from your home,
yet it's only the thirsty that hunger to roam.
Roam the Jungle !
Posts: 3,267
Threads: 195
Reputation:
16836
Joined: May 2015
Location: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
Back in high school, my girlfriend and I were out on the gravel roads, listening to the radio, making out, fooling around, doing the deed....well anyways, we were there a little too long (typical me) and my battery died. I couldn't get my car to start back up. I had to walk a mile to the nearest farm house, knock on the door, and ask to get jumped. This was at midnight too! I was so embarrassed. I pry would have gotten shot in today's age. But the nice farmer did help a guy out and jump my car so I could drop the g/f off before her curfew.
![[Image: Zu8AdZv.png?1]](https://i.imgur.com/Zu8AdZv.png?1)
Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.
Posts: 19,129
Threads: 236
Reputation:
178010
Joined: May 2015
Look at the bright side there Strahan. If you accidentally roll into a gay bar, your going to turn some head! 
Posts: 40,628
Threads: 1,062
Joined: May 2015
(06-25-2018, 03:08 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Back in high school, my girlfriend and I were out on the gravel roads, listening to the radio, making out, fooling around, doing the deed....well anyways, we were there a little too long (typical me) and my battery died. I couldn't get my car to start back up. I had to walk a mile to the nearest farm house, knock on the door, and ask to get jumped. This was at midnight too! I was so embarrassed. I pry would have gotten shot in today's age. But the nice farmer did help a guy out and jump my car so I could drop the g/f off before her curfew.
One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater.
That ended our relationship.
Posts: 20,263
Threads: 161
Reputation:
55720
Joined: May 2015
Location: Cincinnati
(06-25-2018, 04:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater.
That ended our relationship.
“God you look terrible. I think we need to break up.”
“History teaches that grave threats to liberty often come in times of urgency, when constitutional rights seem too extravagant to endure.”-Thurgood Marshall
Posts: 19,129
Threads: 236
Reputation:
178010
Joined: May 2015
(06-25-2018, 04:00 PM)fredtoast Wrote: One time in high school I was out with some friends in a van. I was making out with this drunk chick in the back when she said she had to puke. Instead of asking the driver to stop I just slid open the side door and held her while she hung her head out to puke. But I was too drunk to hold on and she fell face first out of a moving van. Nothing broken but half of her face looked like she had been attacked with a cheese grater.
That ended our relationship.
Should have stayed with her. You would have made a cute couple.
![[Image: Realistic-Halloween-Makeup-Ideas-2.jpg?resize=620%2C781]](https://i1.wp.com/cherrycherrybeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Realistic-Halloween-Makeup-Ideas-2.jpg?resize=620%2C781)
Posts: 641
Threads: 12
Reputation:
5408
Joined: May 2015
Location: Sandston Va
(06-27-2018, 07:25 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: Should have stayed with her. You would have made a cute couple.
Hit
Posts: 532
Threads: 17
Reputation:
4191
Joined: Apr 2018
No such thing as luck. Everything happens under a sovereign plan.
Posts: 10,806
Threads: 1,335
Reputation:
39636
Joined: May 2015
Location: Robbing Grandmas Of The Covid Vaccine In Northern Kentucky-Greater Cincinnati
Went to the dentist and had it fixed today, so now my $50 smile is back and rockin 
Lip is still cut and hurts so I might need to go get that checked out, but I'm just hoping it heals on its own.
Posts: 14,293
Threads: 294
Reputation:
31588
Joined: May 2015
(06-25-2018, 12:48 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: Tonight, I had a babe over.
We're kissing and fooling around before we start the serious stuff and I'm like "hold on, I need to use the restroom first....... don't get up," and I climb over her.
As I'm trying to bring my second leg over, I fall, hit my mouth on my power wheelchair, chip a tooth and cut my lip.
Now, I have a chipped tooth and I'm spitting up blood.
Hopefully, we can get it fixed soon so I don't look like a complete hillbilly.
It pisses me off because my smile was the one thing that everyone loves about me.
It's not the center tooth, but it's just off to the right, so it's not THAT bad, but still.
Just the luck of the half-Irish cripple.
C'mon Brad.. You were just rude to her so she beat the crap out of you . Learn to be nice to women, man!
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
Posts: 3,642
Threads: 94
Reputation:
40716
Joined: Aug 2017
I think Brad and Fred should have used Google to find a more appropriate message board to post their twisted erotic short fiction. 
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ 
|
![[Image: 7LNf.gif]](https://i.gifer.com/7LNf.gif)
![[Image: CavkUzl.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/CavkUzl.gif)
![[Image: 4CV0TeR.png]](https://i.imgur.com/4CV0TeR.png)
