Shocked and dismayed with "gay" remarks on this site

[Bengalzona]

The tone of this thread reminds me of the Seinfeld "not that there is anything wrong with that" episode ("The Outing"):

[fredtoast]

(04-05-2019, 09:25 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: There have been examples of joking and using gay innuendo by some members here(including Fred).

True. 

[*Synric*]

(04-06-2019, 05:07 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Now, I'm not saying that making jokes on the basis of sexuality, race, sex, ethnicity, or religion, etc. is a good or healthy thing, I'm just saying that it is a part of society and life. 

It's funny because I'm from West Virginia those kinda jokes are actually expected from me so I get away with it more than most lol.

[treee]

It's a difficult line to draw. As long as someone as not being hateful then we tend to be lenient towards what you might call a "social 'faux pas'". Homosexuality being accepted in the mainstream is something that is relatively recent in the U.S., where most of our posters are from. If you see something you think is inappropriate then you can always reach out to us.

[*jason*]

I know I made some jokes and comments directed towards the new Browns fan and Baker Mayfield in smack talk. I meant no offense... In real life I have zero issue with the LGBTQ folks. I apologise if the OP is referring to me.

[BakertheBeast]

I was upset also at some of the language that goes on here. Is it just me or does it seem some members can get away with a lot more than others?

[Tiger Teeth]

(04-16-2019, 06:21 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I was upset also at some of the language that goes on here. Is it just me or does it seem some members can get away with a lot more than others?

I am surprised you feel this way, and I think the Admin team goes out of their way to be fair with enforcing the CoC.  And furthermore, I don't understand why some people are so up in arms about this site.  Their is never going to be a "perfect" forum as this is a public board.  But honestly some people must go around in their everyday life being offended.

As has been stated previously, there is a report button on every single post in every single thread, if a member posts something that offends someone, use it.  Personally I feel most of us get along fairly well, and are respectful.  And I hope nothing changes.  

[SunsetBengal]

(04-16-2019, 06:21 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote:  Is it just me or does it seem some members can get away with a lot more than others?

It must be your imagination, as we strive to enforce the Code of Conduct evenly and fairly.  Some members just do a better job of reading and understanding the rules than others.  Perhaps that is where you're getting the illusion of favoritism from?

[*michaelsean*]

(04-16-2019, 06:21 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I was upset also at some of the language that goes on here. Is it just me or does it seem some members can get away with a lot more than others?

Can you give an example?  Maybe not names, but the situation.

[Stewy]

Ok so when i originally replied to this thread I asked for some anonymous examples. Others have as well. If it is a pervasive problem I would have expected several examples by now. I have seen none quoted, but more conceptual and non-specific issues.

This is a social media forum with rules. People will joke, speak their minds and have opinions that some may agree and disagree with inside and outside the boundaries of sports. Having been a long term member of the official site that was highly moderated, I feel we have a good environment here. We do not need more moderation especially without a specific problem identified.

Until we see specific problems that can be moderated, the issue is too vague to enforce change. I suggest the OP report posts that he finds offensive, but if the poster is within the bounds of the CoC, then by the rules, he's just going to have to deal with it or move on.

[Tiger Teeth]

(04-16-2019, 09:24 AM)Stewy Wrote: Ok so when i originally replied to this thread I asked for some anonymous examples.  Others have as well.  If it is a pervasive problem I would have expected several examples by now.  I have seen none quoted, but more conceptual and non-specific issues.

This is a social media forum with rules.  People will joke, speak their minds and have opinions that some may agree and disagree with inside and outside the boundaries of sports.  Having been a long term member of the official site that was highly moderated, I feel we have a good environment here.  We do not need more moderation especially without a specific problem identified.

Until we see specific problems that can be moderated, the issue is too vague to enforce change.  I suggest the OP report posts that he finds offensive, but if the poster is within the bounds of the CoC, then by the rules, he's just going to have to deal with it or move on.

  Spot on!

[Tiger Teeth]

(04-16-2019, 06:21 AM)BakertheBeast Wrote: I was upset also at some of the language that goes on here. Is it just me or does it seem some members can get away with a lot more than others?

I just read one of YOUR posts in Smack, and you certainly seem to push the language yourself.  Weird.

[fredtoast]

(04-16-2019, 09:24 AM)Stewy Wrote:   If it is a pervasive problem I would have expected several examples by now.  I have seen none quoted,

Because you are not looking

(04-05-2019, 01:58 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I just saw a post that said "Facebook can suck a bag of D's"

[SunsetBengal]

(04-05-2019, 01:58 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I just saw a post that said "Facebook can suck a bag of D's"

Not really sure that one qualifies as a "gay" comment or remark.  I wasn't aware that Facebook even had a gender, let alone a sexuality or a preference.

[Belsnickel]

I'm having a hard time finding a way to post in this thread in a way that wouldn't be more in the P&R fashion. The big thing to keep in mind with regards to this is that this message board is directly related to American football, specifically the NFL. Like it or not, the sport tends to be a petri dish within which characteristics often labeled within the "toxic masculinity" umbrella flourish. In addition to that, the team this board centers around is not one of the more "citified" types of teams like you would get with Seattle, LA, NY, or the like. What this means is that the fanbase is going to be a little less tuned into this sorts of things that are picked up on by those with a little more sensitivity to the topic.

I'm not on a high horse, here, because I'm guilty of it as well. I'd love to say I've never implied someone was homosexual in a way that implied it threatened their masculinity, but that's not true. I will say I try to do better about such things than I did when I was younger, but deep down I am a hillbilly that grew up around those sorts of things and it's a hard habit to get out of when it is ingrained in your culture. It is a part of toxic masculinity, which I know will be something a lot of people on this board will sneer at, but as someone engaged in the social sciences I am a bit more familiar with it than most. The idea that being gay, which thanks to stereotypes equates to femininity, means someone is weak is the root of the insults. That's what makes this all toxic, the idea that anything feminine is inherently weak.

These insults happen here on the regular. I'm not going to pull examples because I can think back to many exchanges, including those that involve people that would agree with my post here, that include these sorts of implications. I do hesitate, though, to say that this should be something monitored by the Admins and Mods on the boards. On the one hand, they do violate the CoC as they are intended to belittle other members as well as they are bigoted behaviors, on the other there is the situation of free expression as well as prevalence. The number of instances that come about on these boards is large, and unless you are sensitive to this only the most explicit occurrences will be noticed. So how can this effectively be monitored? Then there is also intention. It doesn't make it any less offensive if someone implies someone is homosexual as an insult and they do it jokingly or without any conscious negative thoughts towards the LGBT community, but they aren't being hateful towards the community which is really what the CoC is there to handle.

It's a tough situation to monitor for the staff. The best thing going forward would be for people to try to understand where the OP may be coming from, and keep this conversation in the back of your mind while reading posts on the boards. You will notice a lot more of this behavior if you are looking for it than you may have realized and it may help change your behavior a little bit for the positive.

[Belsnickel]

(04-16-2019, 10:01 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Not really sure that one qualifies as a "gay" comment or remark.  I wasn't aware that Facebook even had a gender, let alone a sexuality or a preference.

The implication in the comment is that performing oral sex on penises is a bad thing. It's a misogynistic remark, and homophobic if you think of Facebook the entity as masculine.

[SunsetBengal]

(04-16-2019, 10:10 AM)Belsnickel Wrote: The implication in the comment is that performing oral sex on penises is a bad thing. It's a misogynistic remark, and homophobic if you think of Facebook the entity as masculine.

I don't know man, that's a lot of dependent variables and requires a bit of supposition to meet the criteria.  I mean Facebook is just an entity, like a rock or a milk jug, it has no masculine of feminine definition.

[*michaelsean*]

Jesus that was a lot of words to say Cincinnatians are a bunch of yokels.

I think Matt said it well. I have noticed the things mentioned I just wasn't sure how offensive it was considered.

[Au165]

(04-16-2019, 10:10 AM)Belsnickel Wrote: The implication in the comment is that performing oral sex on penises is a bad thing. It's a misogynistic remark, and homophobic if you think of Facebook the entity as masculine.

Again, misogynistic sure, homophobic no. I have seen women told to "suck a bag of D's" before. The idea is it is derogatory, similar to saying "kiss my ass", but implying it is homophobic without any additional context to the comment is interjecting meaning to something that isn't there. 

[Belsnickel]

(04-16-2019, 10:15 AM)SunsetBengal Wrote: I don't know man, that's a lot of dependent variables and requires a bit of supposition to meet the criteria.  I mean Facebook is just an entity, like a rock or a milk jug, it has no masculine of feminine definition.

Yeah, I could go into a long discussion about how most people view things as either masculine or feminine and all that, but I won't bother. Suffice it to say that while you may not see it in this way, there are a lot of people that do. Being mindful of the impact your words have on others can help produce better dialogue all around.

(04-16-2019, 10:26 AM)michaelsean Wrote: Jesus that was a lot of words to say Cincinnatians are a bunch of yokels.

I live inside city limits and have a herd of deer that live in my backyard. No more yokel than me!

(04-16-2019, 10:26 AM)michaelsean Wrote: I think Matt said it well. I have noticed the things mentioned I just wasn't sure how offensive it was considered.

It's one of those things that a lot of people just aren't tuned into. It's why it's important to have these conversations in a way that recognizes most of these occurrences aren't done with malicious intent, which is I think where a lot of the animosity comes from with the anti-PC culture. It's been approached in a poor way.

(04-16-2019, 10:36 AM)Au165 Wrote: Again, misogynistic sure, homophobic no. I have seen women told to "suck a bag of D's" before. The idea is it is derogatory, similar to saying "kiss my ass", but implying it is homophobic without any additional context to the comment is interjecting meaning to something that isn't there. 

That would be why I mentioned context that would be required to consider it homophobic.