Passenger From My Wreck Is Opening Up?

[BFritz21]

(08-04-2021, 08:33 AM)Sled21 Wrote: Stop "Rooster"  blocking the man and quit stalking him at bars???  J/K
Seriously though, if he wants to open up to you he will, you aren't going to do any good trying to force it.

Yeah right!  I was the PERFECT wingman by just being there and being crippled while he told the story!



After the wreck, he started hanging around shady people who would also do drugs, including the driver, and just an entirely different group, with the driver being one of them.  Drugs became normal in the area in the grade above and below ours, but mainly in ours, because the driver sold drugs to fund his own addictions and then kids who weren't normally popular found popularity by doing drugs with them.

I don't think he'll ever open up to me unless I initiate it because he has just never been emotionally stable.

Maybe I should look for someone to randomly bring it up to him if he brings it up to them again to see if he wants to talk but what would he say?  If it's finally helping him cope by telling people, what good would it do to tell me?  I already know.

I think another problem is, initially after the wreck when the cops came and whatever, he lied and said that he wasn't in the car.  He eventually plea bargained and admitted it, but I feel like he still feels like that was leaving me to die and then denying me.  He says that he doesn't remember getting back in the car, which he didn't know what happened after we left the house to go get gas, so I don't really doubt him on that anymore, but it might still eat at him.

(08-04-2021, 09:24 AM)Stewy Wrote: Sounds like he's coping as best he can.

It sounds like he has survivor's guilt (a serious issue), not looking to cash in.  If he never under went therapy for the guilt, then all the drugs and such afterward are him unconsciously trying to cope, IMO.

If you've really moved on and accepted life as is (not doubting you, but we don't live in your head), then if he wants to talk about it, be there for him.  Otherwise, I'd suggest letting it go.

I'm starting to feel like it was guilt, especially after the other night, whereas I initially just thought it was him abandoning me and playing the victim.

He's not emotionally stable and I doubt he'll ever try to talk to me about it if he needs to so I'm thinking maybe I'll tell someone else in the bar to let him know.

I'm not sure how much it would help talking to me though because I feel like he needs to talk to someone who would listen and communicate, like a shrink, but he's way too proud to go to a shrink.