The Hobspin Translator

[t3r3e3]

Geoff,

Two questions:

1: Why do the Bengals consistently run a threadbare scouting program? Scouts are cheap with respect to salary, and allow the team to gather more information on prospective draftees. Knowledge pays off in the mid to late rounds when the best drafting teams unearth quality talent. Given the team’s reliance on the draft alone and recent lackluster drafts, it seems the obvious solution would be to provide additional scouting input and increase the knowledge base going into the draft. More scouts would also allow the coaches to coach. The premier NFL organizations have scouting departments that far outstrip the Bengals’.

2: Why does the team consistently ignore FA to augment roster building? The Bengals typically relegate FA signings to Tier 3 and 4 guys. Super Bowl participants and winners over the past 10 years have shown that FA is a strategic tool that augments the roster and pushes the team into a legitimate Super Bowl contender. Given that the Bengals haven’t won a Playoff Game in 27 years, isn’t it time to start using FA more aggressively?

[Shake n Blake]

(02-16-2018, 07:38 PM)Wes Mantooth Wrote: Hey, Geoff.  Long time reader, 2nd time question asker...

1.) What is your office like at PBS? Can you describe it?  I'd also be curious to hear where it is, if it's near FO or if it's just a janitorial closet in the basement or something.

2.) My buddy is in journalism and he told me that the newspaper he writes for just provided his department with new laptops and new company cell phones. He's rocking a brand new Macbook Pro and now has the Galaxy S8.  That got me thinking, what stuff are you using?  What to do you write on there, what phone plan do they have you on?

Love the column by the way!

1. Mike Brown's bedroom closet. It smells of rich mahogany, icy hot and 20 year old pairs of Hanes underwear. 

2. I use an Imperial typewriter to bang out my rough drafts, which I then take to the public library so I can publish online. Mike said if I'm good, he'll get me a tape recorder for interviews next year, but he's been saying that for 17 years now. I guess I'm not good enough yet.

(02-16-2018, 08:20 PM)t3r3e3 Wrote: Geoff,

Two questions:  

1:  Why do the Bengals consistently run a threadbare scouting program?  Scouts are cheap with respect to salary, and allow the team to gather more information on prospective draftees.  Knowledge pays off in the mid to late rounds when the best drafting teams unearth quality talent.   Given the team’s reliance on the draft alone and recent lackluster drafts, it seems the obvious solution would be to provide additional scouting input and increase the knowledge base going into the draft.  More scouts would also allow the coaches to coach.  The premier NFL organizations have scouting departments that far outstrip the Bengals’.

2:  Why does the team consistently ignore FA to augment roster building?  The Bengals typically relegate FA signings to Tier 3 and 4 guys.  Super Bowl participants and winners over the past 10 years have shown that FA is a strategic tool that augments the roster and pushes the team into a legitimate Super Bowl contender.  Given that the Bengals haven’t won a Playoff Game in 27 years, isn’t it time to start using FA more aggressively?

Thanks for the questions t3r3e3.

1. As I've noted many times, the Bengals are among the top teams in the league in drafted players still with the team. This combined with an incredible run of sustained playoff appearances means that they've been pretty successful in the draft. So perhaps size isn't everything. I overhear Katie telling Troy this all the time, so I assume this is a firm belief that the Brown family holds dear.

2. Brandon LaFell, Michael Johnson and Andre Smith all say "hello". Maybe these aren't big enough names for you? Well lets look at the Eagles. Nick Foles, LeGarrette Blount, Torrey Smith, Jake Elliott, Ronald Darby, Patrick Robinson and Chris Long were all very Bengals-like signings. Sure, they also made bigger moves for guys like Alshon Jeffery and Jay Ajayi, but those guys did nothing. Yep. Nothing.

You might also be thinking "well the Bengals have never signed that many guys in a single offseason", but they've never had so much freedom because they have so many of their own good players to sign. Remember, the Eagles had consecutive losing seasons prior to winning the championship. 

[jj22]

What up Spin!

Quick question. Wrong forum, but what the hell. Why do you think taking a cb 12 overall isn't out of the question? I'm thinking every other year. It's about that time...

OHfer Sevyn.

[GodFather]

Please spin and confirm if this is the real reason why Mike re-signed Marvin. He didn't want to lose a head coach and driver!

[Shake n Blake]

(02-16-2018, 10:09 PM)jj22 Wrote: What up Spin!

Quick question. Wrong forum, but what the hell. Why do you think taking a cb 12 overall isn't out of the question? I'm thinking every other year. It's about that time...

OHfer Sevyn.

Thanks for stopping in, jj22.

A wise man once said "you can never have enough corners". Don't ask who. I can't remember. But a CB is always in play. 

Just since 2006, the Bengals have taken great corners such as Joseph, Hall, and...um...other guys. With that kind of success, why stop?

(02-16-2018, 10:12 PM)GodFather Wrote: Please spin and confirm if this is the real reason why Mike re-signed Marvin. He didn't want to lose a head coach and driver!

I'd say the movie tandem they resemble more are Jack (Marv) and Rose (Mike) from Titanic. Marv really won Mike over, and Mike will never let go.

---------------------------------

With that, I must give Mike a sponge bath and retire to my quarters. This session of Hobson's choice is over. Thanks to all who participated! 

[*bengalfan74*]

Mr. Hobspin,

Why is it this club hangs onto aging/no longer producing veterans way to long ? Dennis Roland, Margus Hunt, Rey Maualuga. And now Michael Johnson and Adam Jones are clearly ready to be put out to pasture yet they will most likely be retained and eat up valuable roster spots.

[Wes Mantooth]

(02-16-2018, 11:20 PM)Shake n Blake Wrote: But a CB is always in play. 

Aint that the truth...

[snowy]

(02-16-2018, 11:20 PM)Shake n Blake Wrote: ---------------------------------

With that, I must give Mike a sponge bath and retire to my quarters. This session of Hobson's choice is over. Thanks to all who participated! 

This might be my favorite thread ever. You're way too good at this, Hobshake.

[*Go Cards*]

(02-16-2018, 05:54 PM)ochocincos Wrote: I already stated months ago that my fandom would drop if Marvin and Bodine were both re-signed and Bodine being the starter. One has happened already. Bodine re-signing could be imminent and the draft could be an early indicator of how likely Bodine would be to start.

I stick by my statement that my fandom will drop. I'll still stay sporadically active here, but I'm going to spend a lot less time investing in draft research and discussing various Bengals topics until Marvin and Bodine would be gone.

Your input would be missed by many.

[*Go Cards*]

Do not think Shake could have done a better job. Great job and funny thread.

If the spin doctor returns, what about an indoor practice facility to help keep up with the Joneses

[Sabretooth]

(02-16-2018, 06:28 PM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: OMG, Shake even went and changed his avi to the Hobs.

Shake has spelled words correctly or actually proof read his work, while avoiding goofy "plays on words and phrases ".

Light years better than hobbs IMO.

[grampahol]

Dear Abby Hobspin,
I lieu of all the Mike Brown sucks billboards of the 90s what exactly kept the Bengals from putting up even bigger and better billboards stating all Bengals fans suck other than the team itself?

Signed,
An ever faithful believer that it's impossible to rig professional football despite the huge body of evidence to the contrary.

[HarleyDog]

Shakespin,

With the addition of the new coaches and their face-valued aggressiveness looking towards the upcoming season, do you think some of that attitude may rub off on Marvin and his 1980's style coaching philosophy? With his coaching technic as predictable as the chances of hitting water when falling out of a boat, do you foresee any change in his aggressiveness? Also, with the team failures recently, we are quickly reminded of the past successes with no responsibility taken for the current failures. What is the possibilities of Mike and Marv stepping up and claiming responsibility when the proverbial crap hits the fan again?

[Shake n Blake]

(02-16-2018, 11:27 PM)bengalfan74 Wrote: Mr. Hobspin,

Why is it this club hangs onto aging/no longer producing veterans way to long ? Dennis Roland, Margus Hunt, Rey Maualuga. And now Michael Johnson and Adam Jones are clearly ready to be put out to pasture yet they will most likely be retained and eat up valuable roster spots.

Thanks for writing in, Mr. 74.

I'm not sure you're giving these older guys enough credit. Roland was a key backup and a vital cog in that 2009 line that helped Cedric Benson have one of the best seasons in team history. Maui Wowie started 104 games across 8 seasons for many top 10 defenses. These guys may be long in the tooth, but sometimes an old long tooth is better than a young puppy tooth.

(02-17-2018, 01:56 AM)Go Cards Wrote: If the spin doctor returns, what about an indoor practice facility to help keep up with the Joneses

How are things in Louisville, Mr. Cards? 

I'm no spin doctor, but I know I "can't be wrong" about this: The UC facility is just a bus ride across town. As Mike Brown often says though, "you should practice how you play". 

(02-17-2018, 07:29 AM)grampahol Wrote: Dear Abby Hobspin,
I lieu of all the Mike Brown sucks billboards of the 90s what exactly kept the Bengals from putting up even bigger and better billboards stating all Bengals fans suck other than the team itself?  

Signed,
An ever faithful believer that it's impossible to rig professional football despite the huge body of evidence to the contrary.

Greetings, old guy!

Mike Brown considered purchasing such a billboard, until he got the quote. $1500 for a month is a lot of frostee's.

(02-17-2018, 09:49 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: Shakespin,

    With the addition of the new coaches and their face-valued aggressiveness looking towards the upcoming season, do you think some of that attitude may rub off on Marvin and his 1980's style coaching philosophy? With his coaching technic as predictable as the chances of hitting water when falling out of a boat, do you foresee any change in his aggressiveness? Also, with the team failures recently, we are quickly reminded of the past successes with no responsibility taken for the current failures. What is the possibilities of Mike and Marv stepping up and claiming responsibility when the proverbial crap hits the fan again?

Hello, Harley. You a biker? I love to ride myself, although I'm more of a Vespa guy. Me and the boys get pretty rowdy for Tuesday bingo:



I'm not sure Marv can get more aggressive than going for it on 4th down against the Ravens last year. He was also fairly aggressive toward the pen he used to lay ink on his fresh 2 year extension. As for taking responsibility after losses, you must not watch many post-game pressers. Marv is always saying "we've got to get better". He knows that losing is not the standard in Cincinnati. Stagnant mediocrity is, and he strives to reach that goal every year.

Besides, do you really want a coach who mopes and focuses on losses? Or would you like a coach who moves forward? Marvin is always moving forward. You should too.

[Sabretooth]

Thread of The Year( if such a thing existed )

Kudos Sir Shake

[*Go Cards*]

(02-17-2018, 02:18 PM)Sabretooth Wrote: Thread of The Year( if such a thing existed )

Kudos Sir Shake

I second the motion for Thread of the Year !

[Daddy-O]

(02-16-2018, 02:44 PM)Shake n Blake Wrote: I'm sorry to hear that, Go Cards. With Frank Pollack leading the charge for a much more physical and aggressive style of blocking, I feel you will come to regret your decision. WHO-DEY.  :andy:


Hi depthchart and thanks for the question. I'm not sure if "dumpster diving" is the proper descriptor for a guy with 21 career starts, including 13 starts for a Giants team that went 11-5. Bobby Hart was a big part of a line that kept Eli Manning upright all season (only 21 sacks allowed). Even if you do consider it dumpster diving, you know what they say about one man's trash...

As for your follow up, luckily Ogbuehi and Hart are under contract for the coming season. Bodine is a free agent though, and if the Bengals want to retain him, they'll have to avoid the big splashy names and save money to retain him. After all, building from within is what led to 5 straight playoff berths and AFCN dominance unseen before in franchise history. I'm not sure if "all 3" is the answer you're looking for, but it's clear that all 3 are important to the Bengals plans.

"Geoff, why are you hanging around other boards?  I pay you great money to dance around questions and spin the narrative in a positive Bengal nature.  Get back home now, otherwise I'll replace you faster than The Donald replaced Sean Spicer"  MB.  

[Shake n Blake]

(02-19-2018, 04:11 PM)Daddy-O Wrote: "Geoff, why are you hanging around other boards?  I pay you great money to dance around questions and spin the narrative in a positive Bengal nature.  Get back home now, otherwise I'll replace you faster than The Donald replaced Sean Spicer"  MB.  

Geoff scooted off awhile ago, but he left behind this message in case MB noticed him stray from his cage:

Quote:I'm sorry sir. I was only trying to set the commoners straight. I hate when fans make astute observations spread horrendous lies about you. I should be back just in time to take the hedge trimmers to your toe nails and give you your 5 pm Icy Hot rub down. I will also post another puff piece on Bobby Hart for good measure. 

And sir... I love you.

- Geoff