Ever Had A Friend Overstay Their Welcome?

[BFritz21]

He's also had me order an Uber for him here from 4 or 5 places when he's been out, which is another thing that pisses me off, and he keeps saying he'll pay me back, but it's just annoying as hell.

[*Go Cards*]

If he is a real friend of mine and was in need ?

Would have no problem being inconvenienced for a couple months even though it is obviously an inconvenience.

Especially if I have the space.

But would have to draw a line on the few months per that being enough time to figure out his new direction.

True friends are a precious commodity and would want to be one back. In ones hour of need is when you find out who the true ones are.

[fredtoast]

(02-23-2018, 06:17 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: she knew he'd be in the next room and would be hearing everything and it's just not what a girl wants.

Offer to wear a ball gag.

That is what I would do whenever I thought my squeals might annoy the neighbors.

[BFritz21]

(02-27-2018, 11:57 AM)Go Cards Wrote: If he is a real friend of mine and was in need ?

Would have no problem being inconvenienced for a couple months even though it is obviously an inconvenience.

Especially if I have the space.

But would have to draw a line on the few months per that being enough time to figure out his new direction.

True friends are a precious commodity and would want to be one back. In ones hour of need is when you find out who the true ones are.

I had no problem with him crashing at my place, but, like I said, I checked tonight and it will be a month on the first that he's been crashing here.

He kind of hinted that he knows it's an inconvenience and asked me if I wanted him out, so I just told him that it's not a problem that he stays but it's just not knowing what's going on and if he has a plan or not.  I even told him about how the timeline kept changing and he's just saying "I know," and asked if he should crash at someone else's place but he was quit to accept my answer when I told him he didn't have to........  he didn't even throw out an "are you sure?"  

He said he's looking at getting this apartment on March 5th, which he had said for a few weeks, but then I threw in "but then when would you move in" and he says "probably in the middle of March," which kind of pissed me off because it's like "oh, but you were going to let me keep believing you were moving out March 5th?"

He's in a bad spot but this is just bullshit.

[fredtoast]

(02-27-2018, 10:44 PM)BFritz21 Wrote:   I even told him about how the timeline kept changing and he's just saying "I know," and asked if he should crash at someone else's place but he was quit to accept my answer when I told him he didn't have to........  he didn't even throw out an "are you sure?"  

Tells his friend he does not have to leave.

Gets mad when friend does not leave.

Either tell the guy to get out or don't get mad when he stays.  Saying one thing and then expecting him too understand you mean something different is lame.  That is the game women play.

[BengalsRocker]

(02-27-2018, 05:15 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Offer to wear a ball gag.

That is what I would do whenever I thought my squeals might annoy the neighbors.

Such a lie Fred.













I doubt you care about annoying anyone.

[BFritz21]

(02-28-2018, 07:18 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Tells his friend he does not have to leave.

Gets mad when friend does not leave.

Either tell the guy to get out or don't get mad when he stays.  Saying one thing and then expecting him too understand you mean something different is lame.  That is the game women play.

I told him he could stay because he was in a bad place but he has taken advantage of my hospitality and generosity, as well as staying longer than he has let on.

I'm being a good friend and being taken advantage of but also not wanting to kick him out on his ass.

[Sabretooth]

(02-28-2018, 08:00 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: Such a lie Fred.













I doubt you care about annoying anyone.

except judges

[hollodero]

(02-27-2018, 10:44 PM)BFritz21 Wrote: I had no problem with him crashing at my place, but, like I said, I checked tonight and it will be a month on the first that he's been crashing here.

He kind of hinted that he knows it's an inconvenience and asked me if I wanted him out, so I just told him that it's not a problem that he stays but it's just not knowing what's going on and if he has a plan or not.  I even told him about how the timeline kept changing and he's just saying "I know," and asked if he should crash at someone else's place but he was quit to accept my answer when I told him he didn't have to........  he didn't even throw out an "are you sure?"  

He said he's looking at getting this apartment on March 5th, which he had said for a few weeks, but then I threw in "but then when would you move in" and he says "probably in the middle of March," which kind of pissed me off because it's like "oh, but you were going to let me keep believing you were moving out March 5th?"

He's in a bad spot but this is just bullshit.

I was sympathetic to you until that very post. He asks if it's OK and you say "no problem". While at the same time fussing over it on an internet board.

If a friend ever helped me out and assured me it's OK and I found out he was in fact bitterly complaining about it, I'd be hurt and pissed. The one thing friends should do is to be honest with each other, at least when it's an important matter. You, however, refuse to let him know where he stands with you. That's on you. My opinion.

To throw some unnecessary sexism into it - you behave like some women would (how could he not have guessed that it's of course a problem when I said "it's not a problem"?). Be honest with him or suffer in silence.

[BFritz21]

(03-02-2018, 08:20 AM)hollodero Wrote: I was sympathetic to you until that very post. He asks if it's OK and you say "no problem". While at the same time fussing over it on an internet board.

If a friend ever helped me out and assured me it's OK and I found out he was in fact bitterly complaining about it, I'd be hurt and pissed. The one thing friends should do is to be honest with each other, at least when it's an important matter. You, however, refuse to let him know where he stands with you. That's on you. My opinion.

To throw some unnecessary sexism into it - you behave like some women would (how could he not have guessed that it's of course a problem when I said "it's not a problem"?). Be honest with him or suffer in silence.

That’s the thing- I have been honest with him and told him how it was messed up that it started as one night and turned into a month, which he has been embarrassed and just talked about when he’s hoping he can get his own place.

Also, I said things like it’s not a problem but he obviously took advantage. If you’re talking about something a woman would do, there it is.

[hollodero]

(03-02-2018, 09:00 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: That’s the thing- I have been honest with him and told him how it was messed up that it started as one night and turned into a month, which he has been embarrassed and just talked about when he’s hoping he can get his own place.

Also, I said things like it’s not a problem but he obviously took advantage. If you’re talking about something a woman would do, there it is.

Your definition of honesty doesn't match mine. When you tell him it's not a problem and he can stay, you can't complain when he "takes advantage", which in this case means believing you and staying.

In the end, you take issue with him taking your words at face value. Which I consider to be girlish. Less girlish, I'd say, would be deciding if you want to help him out any longer or not - and then stand behind your decision and clearly communicate it.

But have it your way. You asked our opinion and you got mine, there's not much to add. Good luck anyways.

[BengalsRocker]

You just need to step your game up.

Do you crap in a toilet or a bag?

Leaving some colostomy bags in some awkward places should end this joyride.

If it's toilet then jam pack that sucker with some Skyline chilito ass meltdown.

Make sure you crank the stank by upping the thermostat.

Done and done.

[fredtoast]

(03-02-2018, 10:22 AM)BengalsRocker Wrote: You just need to step your game up.

Do you crap in a toilet or a bag?

Leaving some  colostomy bags in some awkward places should end this joyride.

If it's toilet then jam pack that sucker with some Skyline chilito ass meltdown.

Make sure you crank the stank by upping the thermostat.

Done and done.

if Brad likes cooked cabbage that is a good way to run people away.  Cooking cabbage smells like ass.

[XenoMorph]

(03-02-2018, 11:35 AM)fredtoast Wrote: if Brad likes cooked cabbage that is a good way to run people away.  Cooking cabbage smells like ass.

just buy some limburger cheese open the package and hide it in the house.....        House be empty in less than a hour.

[StoneTheCrow]

Yes. His name was Paul Alexander.

[BFritz21]

It has been a month and a half (first night was on February first), but he found an apartment yesterday with a friend of ours, so he's moving out tomorrow or Friday!

He told me and I instantly broke out in a

[video=youtube][/video]

This is HUGE!

Now I can finally have the girl over that I've been talking to (after dinner or having drinks at happy hour, of course) and I can start trying to have a relationship!  

He has also said from the beginning that he's going to give me money, which I don't know if I should take it because he's a friend, and I wouldn't have been as upset if he had just been up-front about everything from the beginning, but it's kind of like he took advantage of me.  I know that that wasn't his intention, though, and he was just in a bad place, so I'm definitely not going to demand it and not sure if I'll even take it.



Much love to my Who-Dey family!

[SunsetBengal]

That's good news, Brad. Now, you can have your space, and get your life back to normal.

I wouldn't accept any money from the friend. I'd just continue to be supportive, and wish him well.

On the bright side, at least you have a built in excuse to not help him move his furniture.

[grampahol]

There's always the good old standby of saying, 'Don't take it personally ,but you gotta go. I value our friendship, but I also value my privacy and you're intruding on it.'
If your friend doesn't value your privacy then perhaps it's time to reevaluate whether this friend is worth keeping as a friend. 
I had to kick a friend out before and didn't like having to do it ,but later on I realized just how much of a schmuck he was and have zero regrets now of putting an end to all the BS he brought to my family and kids .
Big shock ,he became a crackhead and thief later on and hit me up for a  rather large chunk of change I'll never see again. 
Sometimes it's better in the long term to write off people than to hang on and let the person make your life miserable. 

[XenoMorph]

(03-14-2018, 08:34 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: It has been a month and a half (first night was on February first), but he found an apartment yesterday with a friend of ours, so he's moving out tomorrow or Friday!

He told me and I instantly broke out in a

[video=youtube][/video]

This is HUGE!

Now I can finally have the girl over that I've been talking to (after dinner or having drinks at happy hour, of course) and I can start trying to have a relationship!  

He has also said from the beginning that he's going to give me money, which I don't know if I should take it because he's a friend, and I wouldn't have been as upset if he had just been up-front about everything from the beginning, but it's kind of like he took advantage of me.  I know that that wasn't his intention, though, and he was just in a bad place, so I'm definitely not going to demand it and not sure if I'll even take it.



Much love to my Who-Dey family!

for being his friend you complain about him a lot behind his back...

I'm sure he didn't know exactly how long it would take when he asked for help

[BFritz21]

(03-15-2018, 10:50 AM)XenoMorph Wrote: for being his friend you complain about him a lot behind his back...

I'm sure he didn't know exactly how long it would take when he asked for help

I've told him most of this to his face, so I'm not really saying anything behind his back that I haven't said to his face.

He took advantage of me, plain and simple.  

He may not have known exactly how long he'd be here, but he had to know it was longer than the one night that he initially said, and embarrassed or not, the common courtesy thing to do would be to at least have let me know where things stood on his end.

Plus, this is more me venting, and I haven't said any of this to any of our friends that both of us know or even anyone in the area.