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It's that time of year again. The Bengals 2018 Why Your Team Sucks has been posted.
https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-cincinnati-bengals-1828297040
Enjoy.
You can always trust an dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to look out for.
"Winning makes believers of us all"-Paul Brown
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Just what we need. Second hand news about why we should be frustrated. Do we really need to be reminded why life can be depressing at times? Hell, I figured that stuff out when I was 4.
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.
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I laugh at most of this stuff, but why take the shots at our city and state? Dude must just be a guy that has never been here. I mean, have you ever BEEN to pittsburgh? Puke. And it is way more than just "not pittsburgh". There are VERY few other places I would rather live.
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Yikes. Definitely some harsh writing. Comments are kinda funny tho.
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(08-14-2018, 06:58 AM)SHRacerX Wrote: I laugh at most of this stuff, but why take the shots at our city and state? Dude must just be a guy that has never been here. I mean, have you ever BEEN to pittsburgh? Puke. And it is way more than just "not pittsburgh". There are VERY few other places I would rather live.
No need to be sensitive. He probably wrote just as nasty stuff about the 30+ other teams and city’s he’s never been to. It’s just satire.
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Lol the stuff about our team was funny. Everyone seems to rip on Cincinnati as a city, though...which I dont really get. Its a pretty attractive city with a lot to offer. Oh well.
The boys are just talkin' ball, babyyyy
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The one last year was funnier.
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Brian:
In roughly one billion years, the sun will evaporate the Earth’s oceans, rendering our planet uninhabitable and ostensibly meaning the end of life on Earth. The following day, Marvin Lewis will sign another two-year extension with the Bengals. They will still not have won a playoff game.
That quote made me laugh out loud. The article is obviously over the top but if you have a good sense of humor you won’t be upset about the article making fun of the team and city.
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(08-14-2018, 09:23 AM)WeezyBengal Wrote: Lol the stuff about our team was funny. Everyone seems to rip on Cincinnati as a city, though...which I dont really get. Its a pretty attractive city with a lot to offer. Oh well.
It's come a long ways in the last 20 years or so, so I think any ripping it gets is from older memories when there wasnt much to do downtown.
“Don't give up. Don't ever give up.” - Jimmy V
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I usually look forward to these because of the humor. But there isn't much humor in this year's version.
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Quote:Tyler Eifert’s healed up just enough to shatter his pelvis in October.
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(08-14-2018, 11:04 AM)Millhouse Wrote: It's come a long ways in the last 20 years or so, so I think any ripping it gets is from older memories when there wasnt much to do downtown.
Agreed. There was nothing in between the stadiums for years before the banks and OTR was one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the country before all the breweries and trendy restaurants starting opening up. Add the casino and there’s a lot of options these days.
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Wow.....just, Wow. Season Over.
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(08-14-2018, 11:53 AM)Gamma Ray Tan Wrote: Wow.....just, Wow. Season Over.
...and all this time we thought it was Mike Brown.. wow! 
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(08-14-2018, 11:53 AM)Gamma Ray Tan Wrote: Wow.....just, Wow. Season Over.
When you whip out a designed 30-yard play... and it sails 10 yards out the back of the end zone.
:paul:
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I love reading these every year...
The worst city in the worst state? C'mon man... Dirty ol' Dayton (where I reside), Youngstown, or Crackron easily take the cake.
The worst state? Maybe. If Mississippi and Arkansas ever leave the union again, we can revisit that argument.
I'm gonna break every record they've got. I'm tellin' you right now. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but it's goin' to get done.
- Ja'Marr Chase
April 2021
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Did not bother me reading those comments.
Until Bengals win it all we will always be the punchline unfortunately.
Thought he was a little too brutal on Dalton and the city but get the fact that is his schtick.
The water tastes funny when you're far from your home,
yet it's only the thirsty that hunger to roam.
Roam the Jungle !
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"You play all your games in Tigger pajamas."
OK, that was f*&king funny.
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(08-15-2018, 01:02 AM)Go Cards Wrote: Did not bother me reading those comments.
Until Bengals win it all we will always be the punchline unfortunately.
Thought he was a little too brutal on Dalton and the city but get the fact that is his schtick.
I'm pretty sure the comments are from Bengals fans. Haven't had time to read them this year either.
I'm gonna break every record they've got. I'm tellin' you right now. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but it's goin' to get done.
- Ja'Marr Chase
April 2021
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I realize these things are supposed to lampoon and exaggerate, but the point about Marvin Lewis still being there after totally checking out and (yet again) saying he was going leave at the end of the season is quite spot on. In my pessimistic defense, when we were cheering after that loss to the pathetic Bears because Marvin was a goner, his contract was up, and he said he was going to leave I pointed out that we were awful in 2010 and Marvin said he was going to leave, too.
Wacky. Anyways, Dave Shula, Bruce Coslet, blah blah blah we addressed our O-line after 2 years of ignoring it everything has changed, Bill Lazorbeam.
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