You had one job!

[HarleyDog]

I haven't posted much of late because I work a lot. I certainly have not started a thread for a long time and this will be my first in this forum. This week sucked and I have to get it off my chest. When you read, this is no BS either, this is all true.

I have been living on my Moms couch for a month because she has been terminally ill. It was a rough time but would not give it up for the world. On Friday of last week she passed. Before her body was in the hearse my sister and her husband stole over $1500 cash out of her house. When I approached her about it she acted as if she meant to tell me. Then within an hour later after I had left, came back and stole her death box that had everything in it. I went irate and things have not been good.

The next day I was at the funeral home making arrangements for my mom and my sister was there. The pastor was there also and asked if we could step into a room and discuss the tension in the air. We did and I got so heated at my thieving sister I was about to go after her husband and things got real. Anyway, I wont go too much into that because it would be me just talking chest out (come at me bro) type stuff.

Rest of week trying to get things in motion to take care of my moms estate has been horrible. My mom made us joint executors which I begged not to be but she insisted that I be an executor out of fear of my sister trying to rip me off. I disagreed and told her I thought her fears were a little out there but she was correct. She definitely knew her better than me.

So anyway, as the week goes on and I have to deal with a money hungry sister we finally get all the family to Ohio and we get the viewing done Thursday evening and then today was the funeral. Everything went great. We close the casket and say our goodbyes. We put her in the hearse and head to the cemetery. As we approach the gravesite I noticed it was awful close to my fathers grave (who was divorced from my mother and remarried). The hearse stopped and I knew it was a problem. The graveyard had dug up the wrong grave. They dug up the grave for my step mom (who is still alive) thinking it was her. Therefore, now here is all the family and friends to lay mom to rest, with no grave. Now, we are going to do this all again Monday.

I really hate this. My Mom went through so much with this cancer. She finally passed from the fight and this happens. Yes, I know its just a body and the spirit is gone. However, This really upsets me. This kind of thing is something you would see in a bad movie.

[Shake n Blake]

(05-16-2015, 01:07 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I haven't posted much of late because I work a lot. I certainly have not started a thread for a long time and this will be my first in this forum. This week sucked and I have to get it off my chest. When you read, this is no BS either, this is all true.

I have been living on my Moms couch for a month because she has been terminally ill. It was a rough time but would not give it up for the world. On Friday of last week she passed. Before her body was in the hearse my sister and her husband stole over $1500 cash out of her house. When I approached her about it she acted as if she meant to tell me. Then within an hour later after I had left, came back and stole her death box that had everything in it. I went irate and things have not been good.

The next day I was at the funeral home making arrangements for my mom and my sister was there. The pastor was there also and asked if we could step into a room and discuss the tension in the air. We did and I got so heated at my thieving sister I was about to go after her husband and things got real. Anyway, I wont go too much into that because it would be me just talking chest out (come at me bro) type stuff.

Rest of week trying to get things in motion to take care of my moms estate has been horrible. My mom made us joint executors which I begged not to be but she insisted that I be an executor out of fear of my sister trying to rip me off. I disagreed and told her I thought her fears were a little out there but she was correct. She definitely knew her better than me.

So anyway, as the week goes on and I have to deal with a money hungry sister we finally get all the family to Ohio and we get the viewing done Thursday evening and then today was the funeral. Everything went great. We close the casket and say our goodbyes. We put her in the hearse and head to the cemetery. As we approach the gravesite I noticed it was awful close to my fathers grave (who was divorced from my mother and remarried). The hearse stopped and I knew it was a problem. The graveyard had dug up the wrong grave. They dug up the grave for my step mom (who is still alive) thinking it was her. Therefore, now here is all the family and friends to lay mom to rest, with no grave. Now, we are going to do this all again Monday.

I really hate this. My Mom went through so much with this cancer. She finally passed from the fight and this happens. Yes, I know its just a body and the spirit is gone. However, This really upsets me. This kind of thing is something you would see in a bad movie.

Sounds a lot like my Grandfather's funeral. My Dad had 7 siblings and his Dad was AWOL while he was growing up. While he was ignoring his duties as a father, he was investing and making lots of money. After he died, most of my aunts and uncles were just wanting to divide things equally. Unfortunately, a couple of them wanted everything for themselves and raided his home.

Once the funeral rolled around, tensions were very high. My Iron Horseman uncle jumped up on a couch threatening my Dad. They got in a tussle and knocked over my Grandma. While she was on the ground she looked up at my Dad and yelled "you're not my son".

That's what I heard anyways. Fortunately, I wasn't at the funeral.

Sorry about your loss. It's probably the worst possible time to have drama like that, and it's a shame that anyone would be thinking about money at a time like that. Do you have any other siblings that you can vent to?

[basballguy]

my gf is a legal assistant for a probate lawyer...this shit happens like every day for her

[HarleyDog]

(05-16-2015, 02:01 AM)Shake n Blake Wrote: Sounds a lot like my Grandfather's funeral. My Dad had 7 siblings and his Dad was AWOL while he was growing up. While he was ignoring his duties as a father, he was investing and making lots of money. After he died, most of my aunts and uncles were just wanting to divide things equally. Unfortunately, a couple of them wanted everything for themselves and raided his home.

Once the funeral rolled around, tensions were very high. My Iron Horseman uncle jumped up on a couch threatening my Dad. They got in a tussle and knocked over my Grandma. While she was on the ground she looked up at my Dad and yelled "you're not my son".

That's what I heard anyways. Fortunately, I wasn't at the funeral.

Sorry about your loss. It's probably the worst possible time to have drama like that, and it's a shame that anyone would be thinking about money at a time like that. Do you have any other siblings that you can vent to?

Dude, that was an amazing story. You know things have gone too far when grandma gets knocked over. That's when things get real. But anyway, about having other siblings to talk too? No, My brother passed away from Lukemia 3 months ago. He hated my sister and there were several years of very bad blood between them. I think everyone saw the bad in her but me. However, she is a great victim player. She will screw you over in a heartbeat and somehow try to convince you it was your fault through gossip, tears, and the victimization role. What a btch!

[HarleyDog]

(05-16-2015, 03:14 AM)basballguy Wrote: my gf is a legal assistant for a probate lawyer...this shit happens like every day for her

I assume your talking of greedy siblings and hopefully not graves dug in wrong location?

[Benton]

Wow.

Between my job and my wife's (hospice director) I hear these kind of stories. Its a difficult thing to go through. Just try and get through it in the short term.

[SunsetBengal]

Harley and Shake, I feel bad for the chaos in both of your funeral stories. Luckily, all of my family members passing's have been peaceful events, thus far. However, I do understand about a greedy sibling. We had to put my birth mother in a lock-down Alzheimer's unit, about 10 years ago. My sister handled the estate, as I live in NC, and she was always closer to her. When they emptied the house, my sister had taken all of the cash and jewelry, possessions of any significant value. A few weeks later, when I came home to visit, my sister hands me an envelope with $2500 cash in it. She said that it was half of what she found/recovered from sale of goods. Years later, my sister gets divorced, I find out from her ex-husband that she had actually pocketed over $15K in cash and proceeds of sales.

[HarleyDog]

I am for sure going to have to consider her dead to me when this estate closes in about 6 months. I will somewhat have to work with her until then through the attorney but after what she has done, there is never a chance I could trust her again. I cant even look at her without getting upset. I think the worst part that gets me is when she plays the victim. Damnit, sometimes you just want to shake a person and say "It's not all about you!"

[Sabretooth]

Sorry for your loss Harley. Strange how the passing of a parent brings out the worst in some folks just when you need their support the most. I was the sole executor of my Moms' estate, even tho there were 4 older siblings, Mom had faith that I would carry out her wishes fully, fairly, and legally. Man that was the toughest thing ever, trying to involve everyone in the process when emotions were raw, but we got thru it eventually. You will too. Again, sorry for your Moms' passing, she will forever be in your heart and mind......

[BonnieBengal]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this Harley. Not just the ridiculous mess-up with the grave (that should never have happened!), but especially the betrayal by your sister. I hope you get it all worked out. Praying for peace for you.

[livebythe10]

(05-16-2015, 01:07 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I haven't posted much of late because I work a lot. I certainly have not started a thread for a long time and this will be my first in this forum. This week sucked and I have to get it off my chest. When you read, this is no BS either, this is all true.

I have been living on my Moms couch for a month because she has been terminally ill. It was a rough time but would not give it up for the world. On Friday of last week she passed. Before her body was in the hearse my sister and her husband stole over $1500 cash out of her house. When I approached her about it she acted as if she meant to tell me. Then within an hour later after I had left, came back and stole her death box that had everything in it. I went irate and things have not been good.

The next day I was at the funeral home making arrangements for my mom and my sister was there. The pastor was there also and asked if we could step into a room and discuss the tension in the air. We did and I got so heated at my thieving sister I was about to go after her husband and things got real. Anyway, I wont go too much into that because it would be me just talking chest out (come at me bro) type stuff.

Rest of week trying to get things in motion to take care of my moms estate has been horrible. My mom made us joint executors which I begged not to be but she insisted that I be an executor out of fear of my sister trying to rip me off. I disagreed and told her I thought her fears were a little out there but she was correct. She definitely knew her better than me.

So anyway, as the week goes on and I have to deal with a money hungry sister we finally get all the family to Ohio and we get the viewing done Thursday evening and then today was the funeral. Everything went great. We close the casket and say our goodbyes. We put her in the hearse and head to the cemetery. As we approach the gravesite I noticed it was awful close to my fathers grave (who was divorced from my mother and remarried). The hearse stopped and I knew it was a problem. The graveyard had dug up the wrong grave. They dug up the grave for my step mom (who is still alive) thinking it was her. Therefore, now here is all the family and friends to lay mom to rest, with no grave. Now, we are going to do this all again Monday.

I really hate this. My Mom went through so much with this cancer. She finally passed from the fight and this happens. Yes, I know its just a body and the spirit is gone. However, This really upsets me. This kind of thing is something you would see in a bad movie.

I feel for ya bub. Sorry for your loss.

I just went thru a similar thing. I moved in with my mom and took care of her the last 3 months of her life.

I didn't have problems with my sister. It was my moms leach of a boyfriend. He stole her pain medications a couple times.

Leaving hospice to eyeball us and count her pills every time they were here. After getting a lock box and taking over her pills myself we had no problems.

It was a very sweet day when I finally got to kick him out of the house and let karma get him.

He is now living in a rooming house full of pediphiles hating it. Because its all he can afford. afraid to be anywhere near me and has told friends of mine how bad he feels for what he did.

I don't care he gets no sympathy from me but the moral of the story is. Once what they did hits them. They are going to feel horrible and not be able to tell her they are sorry. Its going to eat at them forever.

While you are clear and know you did everything right. You will be able to morn properly and find peace while those scum bags will never find peace and will be haunted by the thoughts of their actions.

[Bengalzona]

Sorry for your loss, HarleyDog.

My father died of cancer in January. I know how hard it is.

[*wildcats forever*]

The loss of a loved one is tough enough on its own (lost my Mother in January), but having to endure the drama you're going through is just torture. Really wish there is something I could do to make this go away for ya, Mike. Give me shout if getting together for a few beers etc will help.

[Bengalfan69]

My father passed Jan 2nd from cancer also. Are we brothers?

Its possible. He had 8 kids by 6 baby moma's that I know of.

(05-17-2015, 06:49 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: Sorry for your loss, HarleyDog.

My father died of cancer in January. I know how hard it is.

[coachmcneil71]

My condolences on the loss of your mother Harley. Cancer sucks! Unfortunately siblings can sometimes suck as well. Breathe deep and just try to stay clear minded and as calm as possible. Best of luck and stay strong.

[*bengalfan74*]

So sorry to hear about your loss Harley, you'll be in my prayers.

But yes I've seen greed rear its ugly head close up several times around deaths/funerals.

My grandmother passed away several years ago and at the time still had like 7 children still living. My grandmother was fairly wealthy and had a good bit of stuff in her house, she was 96 when she passed on.

Anyways the oldest girl excused herself claiming illness very soon into the funeral and left. The children had all previously agreed to meet at the house after and split up all the belongings not in the will - there was quite a bit.

You guessed it my oldest aunt went back to the house, she must have had a box truck or two or three pickups because she raped that house, took everything that wasn't nailed down ! She had two china cabinets full of old-old stuff. China, depression glass, antiques, ww2 medals, Vietnam medals from my uncles, turn of the century hand made quilts, all her old jewelry, I could go on and on.

They were all beside themselves with disgust. All of them would have been happy with a picture or two and one of her necklaces or something. They got nothing !!!!! My aunt told them all she was the oldest girl and she deserved all of it.

My aunt died like 3 years later, she was like 80. To my knowledge nothing has ever been said about all the heirlooms.

[*michaelsean*]

Wow that's terrible all around. Hard enough to lose your mom without all of that other idiocy going on. First thought is to go in the house and get the cash? Unbelievable.

[WeezyBengal]

I have seen this with my own family. My dad and his brothers and sisters are feuding over similar issues. Its unbelievable how selfish and blind people get when money is up for grabs.

Money is the root of all evil. Its true.

[*Wyche'sWarrior*]

Man......I'm really sort of at a loss for words.

I'll just say that I'm sorry for your loss, and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

As for the rest.....just unbelievable what people will do when it comes to money. I've seen it firsthand, but not on this level. Unreal. I feel for ya brother......best of luck, and Godspeed.

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(05-16-2015, 01:07 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I haven't posted much of late because I work a lot. I certainly have not started a thread for a long time and this will be my first in this forum. This week sucked and I have to get it off my chest. When you read, this is no BS either, this is all true.

I have been living on my Moms couch for a month because she has been terminally ill. It was a rough time but would not give it up for the world. On Friday of last week she passed. Before her body was in the hearse my sister and her husband stole over $1500 cash out of her house. When I approached her about it she acted as if she meant to tell me. Then within an hour later after I had left, came back and stole her death box that had everything in it. I went irate and things have not been good.

The next day I was at the funeral home making arrangements for my mom and my sister was there. The pastor was there also and asked if we could step into a room and discuss the tension in the air. We did and I got so heated at my thieving sister I was about to go after her husband and things got real. Anyway, I wont go too much into that because it would be me just talking chest out (come at me bro) type stuff.

Rest of week trying to get things in motion to take care of my moms estate has been horrible. My mom made us joint executors which I begged not to be but she insisted that I be an executor out of fear of my sister trying to rip me off. I disagreed and told her I thought her fears were a little out there but she was correct. She definitely knew her better than me.

So anyway, as the week goes on and I have to deal with a money hungry sister we finally get all the family to Ohio and we get the viewing done Thursday evening and then today was the funeral. Everything went great. We close the casket and say our goodbyes. We put her in the hearse and head to the cemetery. As we approach the gravesite I noticed it was awful close to my fathers grave (who was divorced from my mother and remarried). The hearse stopped and I knew it was a problem. The graveyard had dug up the wrong grave. They dug up the grave for my step mom (who is still alive) thinking it was her. Therefore, now here is all the family and friends to lay mom to rest, with no grave. Now, we are going to do this all again Monday.

I really hate this. My Mom went through so much with this cancer. She finally passed from the fight and this happens. Yes, I know its just a body and the spirit is gone. However, This really upsets me. This kind of thing is something you would see in a bad movie.

Damn bro, that is rough. Sadly, you get to know what family are really about when a loved one dies.

Your situation is way worse but a similar thing happened in my family when my Gramps died. My uncle
stole a bunch of stuff and in the process lost the inheritance for the entire family. Damn people, have
some respect!

:angry: