Anyone else..

[sandwedge]

Not go to funerals? Recently my best friend since grade school passed away and my wife asked if I was going. I said "nope" and she was shocked. I just don't do funerals anymore was my response..

[HarleyDog]

I understand this. I don't like going to funerals but I do. There are a few I should have went to but didn't and I felt pretty bad about it afterwards but I just hate them.

[fredtoast]

You think you are the only person who does not like to go to funerals? I don't know a single person who likes to go to funerals. But I feel it is the right thing to do.

And I assume you are talking about visitation at the funeral home in addition to the funeral. I may not make it to the actual funeral service, but I will go to the funeral home for visitation.

[sandwedge]

(11-19-2018, 01:58 PM)fredtoast Wrote: You think you are the only person who does not like to go to funerals?  I don't know a single person who likes to go to funerals.  But I feel it is the right thing to do.

And I assume you are talking about visitation at the funeral home in addition to the funeral.  I may not make it to the actual funeral service, but I will go to the funeral home for visitation.

Of course I don't think that. 

[fredtoast]

(11-19-2018, 02:47 PM)sandwedge Wrote: Of course I don't think that. 

Sorry, but I just recently had a discussion about this with my daughters.

I feel that attending funerals, or at least going to visitation at the funeral home, is one of those things in life that you do even though you don't enjoy it.

[XenoMorph]

(11-19-2018, 01:13 PM)sandwedge Wrote: Not go to funerals? Recently my best friend since grade school passed away and my wife asked if I was going. I said "nope" and she was shocked. I just don't do funerals anymore was my response..

no one likes to go


you go to support the family who has suffered loss.. and show how much the departed was cared for.


Not much sadder than an empty funeral

[HarleyDog]

(11-19-2018, 03:24 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: no one likes to go


you go to support the family who has suffered loss.. and show how much the departed was cared for.


Not much sadder than an empty funeral

I attended one a few years back that basically only a handful of people showed up. I felt horrible for the family.

[Benton]

I don't like the way we do funerals. You make a person up, stick them on a box for display and then let people who only came out of a feeling of obligation show up and offer empty condolences.

I don't go to funerals unless its family. And, generally, I don't want non-family showing up to the funeral.

I do stop by and visit the person and check to see if there's something I can do. Pick up the grand kids from school for a few days, pick up dinner, whatever. Losing someone is difficult, and often there's a lot of things going on that can just swamp a person.

[sandwedge]

(11-20-2018, 12:50 PM)Benton Wrote: I don't like the way we do funerals. You make a person up, stick them on a box for display and then let people who only came out of a feeling of obligation show up and offer empty condolences.

I don't go to funerals unless its family. And, generally, I don't want non-family showing up to the funeral.

I do stop by and visit the person and check to see if there's something I can do. Pick up the grand kids from school for a few days, pick up dinner, whatever. Losing someone is difficult, and often there's a lot of things going on that can just swamp a person.

Exactly how I feel. When I went back to my niece's funeral (only 34 and if the Dr had listened to her, she'd be alive today), everybody kept saying, "Sorry for your loss" I actually wanted to knock the next SOB out that said that to me! I know they were just being nice, but it just grated on me, still does. 

[fredtoast]

(11-20-2018, 02:22 PM)sandwedge Wrote: everybody kept saying, "Sorry for your loss" I actually wanted to knock the next SOB out that said that to me! I know they were just being nice, but it just grated on me, still does. 

I suggest you talk to a professional about this.

Why the hell would you want to punch someone for saying "Sorry for your loss?"

[*michaelsean*]

(11-20-2018, 02:22 PM)sandwedge Wrote: Exactly how I feel. When I went back to my niece's funeral (only 34 and if the Dr had listened to her, she'd be alive today), everybody kept saying, "Sorry for your loss" I actually wanted to knock the next SOB out that said that to me! I know they were just being nice, but it just grated on me, still does. 

Nobody knows what to say if they aren't close with the person they are talking to, so instead of standing there in awkward silence they say something benign like that.

"They are in a better place" is a bad thing to say even though it's not meant that way. You could have the most devout religious person in the world, but they don't want to hear that their loved one is some place better than right there with them.

[Millhouse]

I go to pay respects to the family there. I've been to so many over the years it doesn't phase me much at all. Granted a vast majority of them weren't close family members, so that definitely makes it easier to go.

But one i went to was a few years ago now. A really good friend of mine growing up with was killed in a carjacking in Cincy area just outside of a restaurant in a nicer part of the east side. The guy shot him in the leg apparently and he bled out. They caught the guy and charged with homicide.

Anyways at the visitation on a weeknight, I drove down from Columbus to go, waited in line for an hour at least. Tons of people showed. When I finally made it to the casket, his parents both hugged me, shedded some tears as they hugged me, and said how thankful they were that I came.

That is why I go.