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My Dream Offseason
#1
Here's what I want to see happen this upcoming offseason (yes, I know - if I were lucky - maybe 1% of this happens, but that's why it's called a "dream" offseason):

On the Monday following the Steelers loss, er, game, Mike Brown calls a press conference. To the shock of everyone there, he announces the press conference isn't about Merv or the head coaching position, but rather about himself. Yes, it's true, Mike Brown is officially retiring from football and officially turning the ownership reigns over to his daughter Katie Blackburn. He continues by waxing poetic about his time as owner, talking about the good times, glossing over the bad and ends by thanking the fans. He then turns the podium over to Katie.

Katie steps up and begins talking about how much she loves and respects her father and tries to say that the way he did things was not wrong, just old-fashioned. She mentions this because she plans on running the Bengals differently than her father, again saying that his way was " not wrong". She doesn't want to get too much into specifics, but says that her first move as owner as of this press conference is that the entire coaching staff has been relieved of their duties - including Merv and Hue. She has promoted Duke Tobin to the title of Acting General Manager and will begin the search for someone to be the General Manager of the team. She mentions that Tobin could remain as GM, but she wants to do her due diligence and make sure she hires the right candidate. Some jackass reporter asks if she would consider Merv as GM and Katie professionally responds with a "if he's the best man for the job, then yes." She then mentions her plans on bring the Bengals into the modern times and she plans on running things not so old-fashioned like her father while trying to argue that he didn't do anything wrong. She states that she plans on increasing the scouting department and getting a practice bubble, but her first goal is to get a GM and work with him or her to get a new HC.

Katie then ends up hiring _________ as General Manager (I honestly don't know who I'd want as GM. I don't think I'd have a problem with Tobin, but honestly, I'd rather someone with more actual GM experience). They then turn around and hire an upcoming young coach with a good pedigree that is creative and holds players accountable (Eric Bienemey?). Katie and the GM also use free agency to build the team and then use the draft to supplement the depth of the roster. As such, they are able to sign quality players at the LB and OL positions and they also draft a QB that will be groomed to eventually replace Dalton.

I'm kind of losing steam at this point as the farther I go along, the less likely any of this happnes in any capacity which just drags me down that even my dreams are negatively affected.
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#2
That would be the ultimate !

I'd settle for just hearing Marvin is retiring and Hue and Lazor will not be retained.
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#3
That was a long post, could have just said Mikey calls a press conference but has a fatal heart attack. Even if he were to 'retire' he would not be retired, we all know that
Fredtoast + Ignore = Forum bliss

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#4
Mike Brown retires
Katie Blackburn fires everyone. The only people left are her secretary and the players.
Katie Blackburn hires a General Manager.
Katie and the new GM hire a Head Coach.

Katie says, "My work here is done, I only sign checks now. You have 5-7 years to get to the Super Bowl." then walks out.

The GM and HC hire the rest of the coaching staff, trainers and doctors.

The entire coaching staff evaluate the players, sign those who fit the new system and cut those who they think will be problems or don't fit.
Song of Solomon 2:15
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
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#5
(12-27-2018, 03:17 PM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: Mike Brown retires
Katie Blackburn fires everyone. The only people left are her secretary and the players.
Katie Blackburn hires a General Manager.
Katie and the new GM hire a Head Coach.

Katie says, "My work here is done, I only sign checks now. You have 5-7 years to get to the Super Bowl." then walks out.

The GM and HC hire the rest of the coaching staff, trainers and doctors.

The entire coaching staff evaluate the players, sign those who fit the new system and cut those who they think will be problems or don't fit.

Thanks for the TL;DR of my OP. ThumbsUp
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#6
(12-27-2018, 02:10 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Here's what I want to see happen this upcoming offseason (yes, I know - if I were lucky - maybe 1% of this happens, but that's why it's called a "dream" offseason):

On the Monday following the Steelers loss, er, game, Mike Brown calls a press conference. To the shock of everyone there, he announces the press conference isn't about Merv or the head coaching position, but rather about himself. Yes, it's true, Mike Brown is officially retiring from football and officially turning the ownership reigns over to his daughter Katie Blackburn. He continues by waxing poetic about his time as owner, talking about the good times, glossing over the bad and ends by thanking the fans. He then turns the podium over to Katie.

Katie steps up and begins talking about how much she loves and respects her father and tries to say that the way he did things was not wrong, just old-fashioned. She mentions this because she plans on running the Bengals differently than her father, again saying that his way was " not wrong". She doesn't want to get too much into specifics, but says that her first move as owner as of this press conference is that the entire coaching staff has been relieved of their duties - including Merv and Hue. She has promoted Duke Tobin to the title of Acting General Manager and will begin the search for someone to be the General Manager of the team. She mentions that Tobin could remain as GM, but she wants to do her due diligence and make sure she hires the right candidate. Some jackass reporter asks if she would consider Merv as GM and Katie professionally responds with a "if he's the best man for the job, then yes." She then mentions her plans on bring the Bengals into the modern times and she plans on running things not so old-fashioned like her father while trying to argue that he didn't do anything wrong. She states that she plans on increasing the scouting department and getting a practice bubble, but her first goal is to get a GM and work with him or her to get a new HC.

Katie then ends up hiring _________ as General Manager (I honestly don't know who I'd want as GM. I don't think I'd have a problem with Tobin, but honestly, I'd rather someone with more actual GM experience). They then turn around and hire an upcoming young coach with a good pedigree that is creative and holds players accountable (Eric Bienemey?). Katie and the GM also use free agency to build the team and then use the draft to supplement the depth of the roster. As such, they are able to sign quality players at the LB and OL positions and they also draft a QB that will be groomed to eventually replace Dalton.

I'm kind of losing steam at this point as the farther I go along, the less likely any of this happnes in any capacity which just drags me down that even my dreams are negatively affected.

Would love this. Rock On
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#7
(12-27-2018, 02:10 PM)PhilHos Wrote: I'm kind of losing steam at this point as the farther I go along, the less likely any of this happnes in any capacity which just drags me down that even my dreams are negatively affected.

I feel your pain! The Bengals are like the government. The people, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, want change. And every year we get a little older and read a lot of Hobspin articles but have nothing to show for it. After awhile you just get disillusioned and wonder what life is like as a (insert another team name here) fan. 
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#8
I forgot to add...

After Katie walks out of the room she spends her time in the owners box as accolades are heaped on her for her business savvy and how she built a winner after the Bengals win their first, second, third and seventh Super Bowl in 15 years. Money is pouring in left and right and the Bengals become the first team to be worth $25 billion.
Song of Solomon 2:15
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
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#9
(12-27-2018, 02:10 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Here's what I want to see happen this upcoming offseason (yes, I know - if I were lucky - maybe 1% of this happens, but that's why it's called a "dream" offseason):

On the Monday following the Steelers loss, er, game, Mike Brown calls a press conference. To the shock of everyone there, he announces the press conference isn't about Merv or the head coaching position, but rather about himself. Yes, it's true, Mike Brown is officially retiring from football and officially turning the ownership reigns over to his daughter Katie Blackburn. He continues by waxing poetic about his time as owner, talking about the good times, glossing over the bad and ends by thanking the fans. He then turns the podium over to Katie.

Katie steps up and begins talking about how much she loves and respects her father and tries to say that the way he did things was not wrong, just old-fashioned. She mentions this because she plans on running the Bengals differently than her father, again saying that his way was " not wrong". She doesn't want to get too much into specifics, but says that her first move as owner as of this press conference is that the entire coaching staff has been relieved of their duties - including Merv and Hue. She has promoted Duke Tobin to the title of Acting General Manager and will begin the search for someone to be the General Manager of the team. She mentions that Tobin could remain as GM, but she wants to do her due diligence and make sure she hires the right candidate. Some jackass reporter asks if she would consider Merv as GM and Katie professionally responds with a "if he's the best man for the job, then yes." She then mentions her plans on bring the Bengals into the modern times and she plans on running things not so old-fashioned like her father while trying to argue that he didn't do anything wrong. She states that she plans on increasing the scouting department and getting a practice bubble, but her first goal is to get a GM and work with him or her to get a new HC.

Katie then ends up hiring _________ as General Manager (I honestly don't know who I'd want as GM. I don't think I'd have a problem with Tobin, but honestly, I'd rather someone with more actual GM experience). They then turn around and hire an upcoming young coach with a good pedigree that is creative and holds players accountable (Eric Bienemey?). Katie and the GM also use free agency to build the team and then use the draft to supplement the depth of the roster. As such, they are able to sign quality players at the LB and OL positions and they also draft a QB that will be groomed to eventually replace Dalton.

I'm kind of losing steam at this point as the farther I go along, the less likely any of this happnes in any capacity which just drags me down that even my dreams are negatively affected.

If she's like her father she'll name herself as the GM, then promptly overrule the coaches, scouting department staff and make draft selections herself. That would be the worse case scenario, of course.
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#10
(12-27-2018, 03:17 PM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: Mike Brown retires
Katie Blackburn fires everyone. The only people left are her secretary and the players.
Katie Blackburn hires a General Manager.
Katie and the new GM hire a Head Coach.

Katie says, "My work here is done, I only sign checks now. You have 5-7 years to get to the Super Bowl." then walks out.

The GM and HC hire the rest of the coaching staff, trainers and doctors.

The entire coaching staff evaluate the players, sign those who fit the new system and cut those who they think will be problems or don't fit.
And then we all woke up.
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

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#11
I have zero hope that Katie will be any different than Daddy, otherwise known as the guy who trained her. My money is on her level of incompetence being every bit as high as Daddy's.
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

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#12
It would be awesome to finally see Mike truly step aside and not be involved at all in the football operations side of things.

I'm curious to see how Katie approaches things, but I do have my concerns that she'll be very similar to Mike in some ways. Hopefully, she does do the things you mentioned when she finally gets her shot at running the show by herself.

My 'dream offseason' would be for them to hire a veteran football person as GM, who is adapt and experienced in all facets of the front office and scouting. A guy like Brian Xanders comes to mind. He did a solid job in Denver but had control issues with Elway. He also got credit for completely updating and modernizing the Lions scouting department. He's currently working for the Rams.

For head coach, my top guy right now would be Kris Richard. I'm really high on his potential and players who play for him rave about his infectious personality and insane passion for the game. That would be a welcome change from the staleness that we have right now. I think he would be an outstanding choice to start building around going forward.

As OC, maybe a guy like Chad O'Shea, who's coached the Pat's WR's for a long time and been heavily involved in that offensive system. Former Bengal Rex Burkhead couldn't stop singing his praises after he got to NE and saw O'Shea at work. Other players have echoed the same, talking about how dedicated and passionate he is about film study, preparation and fundamentals. 

As far as DC and Asst HC, how about a name that crops up a lot around here in Jack Del Rio? It would probably take a decent contract to get him here, but it would give Richard a very experienced guy who's been a head coach at his side that he could lean on for advice. I think a guy like Del Rio, with his personality and past experience, could be just what this defense needs to turn things around after a miserable couple of years.
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#13
For immediate release: The Cincinnati Bengals immediately dissolve as an NFL franchise and a new team under new ownership has purchased the rights to operate an NFL team at Paul Brown Stadium effective immediately. The entire Brown family is under indictment for swindling Hamilton County and likely to go to prison for the rest of their natural born lives.  The new team will be named, The Cincinnati Not The Bengals, But We'll Come Up With A Real Name Someday (better known as the CNTBBWCUWARNS's)
In the immortal words of my old man, "Wait'll you get to be my age!"

Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse, but the one comfort we have is Cincinnati sounds worse. ~Oliver Wendal Holmes Sr.


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#14
(12-27-2018, 04:26 PM)Bengalholic Wrote: It would be awesome to finally see Mike truly step aside and not be involved at all in the football operations side of things.

I'm curious to see how Katie approaches things, but I do have my concerns that she'll be very similar to Mike in some ways. Hopefully, she does do the things you mentioned when she finally gets her shot at running the show by herself.

My 'dream offseason' would be for them to hire a veteran football person as GM, who is adapt and experienced in all facets of the front office and scouting. A guy like Brian Xanders comes to mind. He did a solid job in Denver but had control issues with Elway. He also got credit for completely updating and modernizing the Lions scouting department. He's currently working for the Rams.

For head coach, my top guy right now would be Kris Richard. I'm really high on his potential and players who play for him rave about his infectious personality and insane passion for the game. That would be a welcome change from the staleness that we have right now. I think he would be an outstanding choice to start building around going forward.

As OC, maybe a guy like Chad O'Shea, who's coached the Pat's WR's for a long time and been heavily involved in that offensive system. Former Bengal Rex Burkhead couldn't stop singing his praises after he got to NE and saw O'Shea at work. Other players have echoed the same, talking about how dedicated and passionate he is about film study, preparation and fundamentals. 

As far as DC and Asst HC, how about a name that crops up a lot around here in Jack Del Rio? It would probably take a decent contract to get him here, but it would give Richard a very experienced guy who's been a head coach at his side that he could lean on for advice. I think a guy like Del Rio, with his personality and past experience, could be just what this defense needs to turn things around after a miserable couple of years.

Definately love this dream as well, great job Holic. Xanders and Richard would be one heck of a start.

O'Shea is another good name. Do you think that Del Rio still is up to the task or do you think the game might of
passed him by similar to Marv?
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#15
(12-27-2018, 04:19 PM)McC Wrote: I have zero hope that Katie will be any different than Daddy, otherwise known as the guy who trained her.  My money is on her level of incompetence being every bit as high as Daddy's.

That's my biggest fear ! Katie takes over and it's just SSDD, operating as before, no GM, no real plan or system, she'll have her hands in everything, on and on.
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#16
Even in dream scenarios, Katie nepotistically takes over and Duke Tobin, who has drafted 1 Pro Bowler in the last 7 years, has a chance of sticking around.

Even dreams can't be fun for a Bengals fan. Depressing.
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The 2021 season Super Bowl was over 1,000 days ago.
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#17
(12-27-2018, 06:16 PM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: Definately love this dream as well, great job Holic. Xanders and Richard would be one heck of a start.

O'Shea is another good name. Do you think that Del Rio still is up to the task or do you think the game might of
passed him by similar to Marv?

Honestly, that's a good question. I've always liked him as a defensive coach, but the game is changing for sure. I guess my thinking is that if old-schoolers like Phillips, Marinelli and Fangio can still get it done, then maybe Del Rio can as well. Jerry
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#18
(12-27-2018, 02:10 PM)PhilHos Wrote: Here's what I want to see happen this upcoming offseason (yes, I know - if I were lucky - maybe 1% of this happens, but that's why it's called a "dream" offseason):

On the Monday following the Steelers loss, er, game, Mike Brown calls a press conference. To the shock of everyone there, he announces the press conference isn't about Merv or the head coaching position, but rather about himself. Yes, it's true, Mike Brown is officially retiring from football and officially turning the ownership reigns over to his daughter Katie Blackburn. He continues by waxing poetic about his time as owner, talking about the good times, glossing over the bad and ends by thanking the fans. He then turns the podium over to Katie.

Katie steps up and begins talking about how much she loves and respects her father and tries to say that the way he did things was not wrong, just old-fashioned. She mentions this because she plans on running the Bengals differently than her father, again saying that his way was " not wrong". She doesn't want to get too much into specifics, but says that her first move as owner as of this press conference is that the entire coaching staff has been relieved of their duties - including Merv and Hue. She has promoted Duke Tobin to the title of Acting General Manager and will begin the search for someone to be the General Manager of the team. She mentions that Tobin could remain as GM, but she wants to do her due diligence and make sure she hires the right candidate. Some jackass reporter asks if she would consider Merv as GM and Katie professionally responds with a "if he's the best man for the job, then yes." She then mentions her plans on bring the Bengals into the modern times and she plans on running things not so old-fashioned like her father while trying to argue that he didn't do anything wrong. She states that she plans on increasing the scouting department and getting a practice bubble, but her first goal is to get a GM and work with him or her to get a new HC.

Katie then ends up hiring _________ as General Manager (I honestly don't know who I'd want as GM. I don't think I'd have a problem with Tobin, but honestly, I'd rather someone with more actual GM experience). They then turn around and hire an upcoming young coach with a good pedigree that is creative and holds players accountable (Eric Bienemey?). Katie and the GM also use free agency to build the team and then use the draft to supplement the depth of the roster. As such, they are able to sign quality players at the LB and OL positions and they also draft a QB that will be groomed to eventually replace Dalton.

I'm kind of losing steam at this point as the farther I go along, the less likely any of this happnes in any capacity which just drags me down that even my dreams are negatively affected.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bKln5vMmP2Y
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#19
My dream off season would be to trade away our draft ( & the next 2,3 or 4; whatever it takes) for the players we need that are in the NFL now. We’re already the 2nd youngest team in the league. We have a good core to build around if we could just get a few difference makers at a few key spots & hope like hell they make the players around them better (which I think our players can be better).

Marvin’s coming back & Hue should be the OC. Hue is gonna be driven like a madman to destroy the Browns, who is becoming a much more hated rivalry than they’ve been in the past — I’m sure M. Brown considers them a top rival. I’d love to land VJ back as the D coordinator but there’s other candidates I wouldn’t hate. I’m in the vast minority but I think they can turn it around in one season if they make some trades & stop over valuing draft picks. We can’t get any younger.
-That which we need most, will be found where we want to visit least.-
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#20
(12-27-2018, 06:36 PM)Bengalholic Wrote: Honestly, that's a good question. I've always liked him as a defensive coach, but the game is changing for sure. I guess my thinking is that if old-schoolers like Phillips, Marinelli and Fangio can still get it done, then maybe Del Rio can as well. Jerry

Del Rio is kind of like Marvin as a HC. He'll have a good year every once in a while sandwiched with years he misses the playoffs.

As a DC, I'd like him.

I think that IF the Bengals look outside the organization, it's Eric Bienemy. Why? I think MB would work with a former Bengal.
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