Board Question for you married men

[BengalHawk62]

The wife just lost her wedding ring. Its gone. Not sure where or how. What am I to say to her? I’m pissed right now because I’ve told her in the past how nonchalantly she’s acted with it. I so want to say I Told You So! But I’m trying to be a better person than that. What the f***! Have any of your wives lost their wedding rings before? How pissed were you with them? I realize that it was an accident, but still.....god damn it. Thank god we have insurance on it. Just looking for some marital advice before I blow up and say something I really regret.

[fredtoast]

If you have never lost anything or will never lose anything in your life then go ahead and jump her shit.

I don't know exactly what you mean by "nonchalant". If she was being really stupid you can point that out to her, but realize that if you ever lose anything she will pay you back 10 fold.

I lost my wedding ring on a rafting trip. I had never wore a ring before so when I got it I made sure it would not be "too tight". I actually got it a little too big so it slipped off my finger in the water. Funny thing is that my wife was sure I would get into trouble on that trip with my "wild" friends. So my plan was to first tell her there had been a "problem" before giving her the details. I figured she would imagine something much worse and be relieved to hear that I just lost my ring. But she chewed me a new asshole anyway. Apparently losing a wedding ring means you don't care about the marriage.

[CKwi88]

We don't wear rings, can't help ya.

[XenoMorph]

(05-08-2019, 04:59 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: The wife just lost her wedding ring.  Its gone.  Not sure where or how.  What am I to say to her?  I’m pissed right now because I’ve told her in the past how nonchalantly she’s acted with it.  I so want to say I Told You So! But I’m trying to be a better person than that.  What the f***! Have any of your wives lost their wedding rings before?  How pissed were you with them?  I realize that it was an accident, but still.....god damn it.  Thank god we have insurance on it.  Just looking for some marital advice before I blow up and say something I really regret.

I lost one of the stones out of mine playing basketball 5-7 years ago haven't worn it since..

Got one of the rubber fake rings them football players wear.

while its a symbol of your marriage... ITS JUST A PLEACE OF METAL.. maybe with diamonds.

But ultimately its just a token. if this is the worst thing that's happened in your marriage. your one of the lucky ones.



or she wanted an upgrade.... lol

[sandwedge]

I'd just let it go. It's not worth damaging the marriage over. You love her and she loves you, that's what matters. Ya I know, I typed that....lol
Honestly, I don't wear one anymore and my wife knows my dedication to her....

[SunsetBengal]

That's a tough one to give advice on. Really depends upon the quality of your relationship, and both of your levels of maturity.

Younger me would have reacted like: "How could you have been so careless?"

Me now, might say something like: "It's alright, we'll get you another one."

[Cure4CF]

Just have her call Jim and have him check the night stand

Just messing w/ ya. I personally wouldn’t make it a big deal. My wife just had hers resized for a hefty sum of cash. Before she did I told her she could have them resized, trade them in for new ones, or just throw them in the jewelry box thingy. At this point in the marriage my feelings are just as long as she happy I’m happy.

Either way my suggestion is not to make a big deal over it and if need be use it for leverage down the road :devilish emoji:

[BengalsRocker]

Depends on your budget and how much money you have to spend?

Take the high road and go with her to pick out a new ring.

Then turn around shortly after and get yourself something real nice(TV or whatever).

You'll get to be the "good guy caring/understanding husband", and also get a little something for yourself.

Just my two cents.

If you're broke, I'd be more pissed...  but still taking the high road will give you some leeway or other benefits besides monetary value.  

[Benton]

My wife and I split up a few years ago (heck, 5 I guess). We got back together after about two years because neither one of us really wanted anyone else, we just split up because we got on each other's nerves

And we still do. She unloaded on me about doing the laundry she doesn't do a couple days ago, I reminded her she does t do it anymore and that was it.

I have no idea where either of our rings are. The important thing is showing up, being a good partner and letting the other person win every other debate.

[Bengalzona]

(05-08-2019, 04:59 PM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: The wife just lost her wedding ring.  Its gone.  Not sure where or how.  What am I to say to her?  I’m pissed right now because I’ve told her in the past how nonchalantly she’s acted with it.  I so want to say I Told You So! But I’m trying to be a better person than that.  What the f***! Have any of your wives lost their wedding rings before?  How pissed were you with them?  I realize that it was an accident, but still.....god damn it.  Thank god we have insurance on it.  Just looking for some marital advice before I blow up and say something I really regret.

My wife's fingers swelled up when she got pregnant and I had to cut her ring off with a pair of snips. We never got around to getting it fixed.

[Fan_in_Kettering]

Smile sincerely and buy her a bigger one. Yes I’m serious....

[HarleyDog]

I understand why your pissed. The ring is supposed to be a symbol of your marriage and if my wife lost hers, I would be pretty upset. However, if I lost mine, it would be devastating. Chances are she is already punishing herself more than you can. I know I would. Is there a better solution here than replacing the ring? Sounds silly I know, but replacing the ring will always be a constant reminder of her carelessness every time she looks at it. If she’s truly hurt, not sure you want her to feel like that.

There are solutions in this thread and I’ll give you one. Replace the ring since you have insurance, and then buy a set of rings for each of you (like the rubber ones Xen mentioned). Take yours off and both of you wear the rubber rings for normal daily stuff, then put on your others for occasions.

Regardless what you do, don’t make her pay for the mistake. She already knows neither of you are not happy about the situation. But saying I told you so or anything else along those lines are going to be spiteful words she may not forgive you for. It’s another one of those situations where girl messes up, guy is in trouble for it. So save yourself and just be supportive.

[Stewy]

(05-09-2019, 07:40 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I understand why your pissed. The ring is supposed to be a symbol of your marriage and if my wife lost hers, I would be pretty upset. However, if I lost mine, it would be devastating. Chances are she is already punishing herself more than you can. I know I would. Is there a better solution here than replacing the ring? Sounds silly I know, but replacing the ring will always be a constant reminder of her carelessness every time she looks at it. If she’s truly hurt, not sure you want her to feel like that.

There are solutions in this thread and I’ll give you one. Replace the ring since you have insurance, and then buy a set of rings for each of you (like the rubber ones Xen mentioned). Take yours off and both of you wear the rubber rings for normal daily stuff, then put on your others for occasions.

Regardless what you do, don’t make her pay for the mistake. She already knows neither of you are not happy about the situation. But saying I told you so or anything else along those lines are going to be spiteful words she may not forgive you for. It’s another one of those situations where girl messes up, guy is in trouble for it. So save yourself and just be supportive.

Nice summary Harley and generally good advice in this thread.

Just replace it and move on.  No sense getting pissed if you have insurance.

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

You have what most men dream of; a get out of jail free card. You don't squander that on a "I told you so." You keep that in your back pocket for when you screw up (and you will.) A lost wedding ring should get you out of at least one major or three minor F ups.

I lost wedding ring is good for coming home drunk a 3am cause you forgot to call. Or you dropped the baby. Or you "accidentally" shot your brother-in-law's pinky toe off.

[*michaelsean*]

She's allowed to jump your shit about something like that. It doesn't go the other way.

[Tiger Teeth]

(05-09-2019, 03:09 PM)michaelsean Wrote: She's allowed to jump your shit about something like that.  It doesn't go the other way.

Isn't that the truth!

[BengalsRocker]

(05-09-2019, 07:40 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: I understand why your pissed. The ring is supposed to be a symbol of your marriage and if my wife lost hers, I would be pretty upset. However, if I lost mine, it would be devastating. Chances are she is already punishing herself more than you can. I know I would. Is there a better solution here than replacing the ring? Sounds silly I know, but replacing the ring will always be a constant reminder of her carelessness every time she looks at it. If she’s truly hurt, not sure you want her to feel like that.

There are solutions in this thread and I’ll give you one. Replace the ring since you have insurance, and then buy a set of rings for each of you (like the rubber ones Xen mentioned). Take yours off and both of you wear the rubber rings for normal daily stuff, then put on your others for occasions.

Regardless what you do, don’t make her pay for the mistake. She already knows neither of you are not happy about the situation. But saying I told you so or anything else along those lines are going to be spiteful words she may not forgive you for. It’s another one of those situations where girl messes up, guy is in trouble for it. So save yourself and just be supportive.

Good advice.

Women care so much about this stuff. 

She's beating herself up and unhappy probably even more than she's showing.

Piling on with an "I told you so" would only be for self gratification.

To the OP if you're big on self gratification then yeah go ahead and say something...  because you'll being doing that a lot more afterwards anyway.

[*Synric*]

It's the perfect opportunity to go out and surprise her with a brand new ring while giving her shit for an entire day. I suggest a quick set of wedding vows and invite some family.

Trust me.

[grampahol]

I've been through a few women in my life..The first one was a stripper so don't trust me on who to take home to mother the first time..
However in my 60 years I have learned a thing or two about dealing with women. First off, she's right always and you're a jerk always. That's just the way it goes, but if you want to keep her let this go. The quickest way to stay awake all night about some other jerk bedding your wife down every night is to jump all over her about some piece of jewelry. There are other ways as well, but i won't go into all of them..
Let it go..Offer to get another and don't act too cheap about it, but there's no hard, fast rule that says you gotta break the bank either.
C'mon..This is your wife, not your sister or some broad you picked up on a drunken night away from home..

[Beaker]

She didn't lose it...she left it at my house.