Super Homer time-killer thread

[*Nately120*]

(05-15-2020, 09:28 AM)bengalfan74 Wrote: They'll get a lit cigar stuck up their ass.

One of 99 cent grape flavored cheap gas station ones, too.  Only winners get expensive lit cigars up their butts.

[*SHRacerX*]

(05-14-2020, 03:30 PM)Nately120 Wrote: How about the Steelers?  I pity the fool who roots for the Steelers!

Here we are set at QB for what, 10+ years while they are eagerly awaiting the return of a d-bag QB who missed almost all of 2019 with a bum arm who almost certainly is going to show up to training camp looking like a cross between Jamarcus Russel and Peter Jackson.  Also, he's way too much of a whiney me-first jerk to even consider retiring so he's going to be like Brett Favre without the trade demands.  Tomlin isn't going to stand up to Pig Ben, so they're stuck with an over-paid fatso QB who has no arm left.

And their draft?  They used their first pick, which was in the second round, to draft a combine star (underwear Olympics, means nothing unless you are Al Davis) Canadian guy who is never going to crack their WR dept chart and will be catching passes in a deep-ass endzone up north in no time.

On the plus side Mike Tomlin's inability to make even the worst season turn into a boring 8-8 affair will ensure they have no real options for replacing Ben after he has to retire so he can be on My 600lb Life.

Also, I hope the Steelers had their fun beating us while Marvin "Born in Steeler Country" Lewis and Andy "I'm Scurred of the Steelers" Dalton were in town, because they ain't here no more!

I agree with all of this except for the Chase Claypool reference.  I love that guy....or loved.  Now, of course, I hate him. 

[*SHRacerX*]

(05-14-2020, 04:03 PM)GreenCornBengal Wrote: Being a Cowboy fan is rough. Can you imagine getting excited about signing Andy Dalton???

Dak is overrated.  He has one of the best offensive lines, running back, and stable of WRs in the league.  If he ever goes down, Dalton will show the rest of the league what he can do with those things.  

[*Nately120*]

(05-15-2020, 09:52 AM)SHRacerX Wrote: I agree with all of this except for the Chase Claypool reference.  I love that guy....or loved.  Now, of course, I hate him. 

My CFL team had the 1st pick and I wanted the guy, but alas. They ended up drafting a guy who sacked Burrow 3 times in one game so he should be good...if they have a season. 

[*SHRacerX*]

(05-14-2020, 04:26 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Roethlisberger led the NFL in interceptions in 2018 and in the two games he played last year he had 62 attempts with a 66.0 passer rating.

What else does he lead the league in?

Nose hair, rapes, chins, drama queen tiaras, and excuses.  Fat pig.  

[*Nately120*]

This is all too easy. Does any team have it better than we do?

[fredtoast]

So "homer" now means "shit on Andy and Marvin"?

It amazes me how many grown men believe that the best professional football players are the ones that are screamed at the loudest.  Makes me wonder why they don't have a competition at the combine to see which QB can squeal the loudest at teammates.

I had a head coach in high school that would scream til he was red in the face and spit flew all over the team.  We still sucked.  Then I had a coach in college who rarely raised his voice and he holds the NCAA record for most wins at Div-II.

[*Nately120*]

(05-15-2020, 10:34 AM)fredtoast Wrote: So "homer" now means "shit on Andy and Marvin"?

It amazes me how many grown men believe that the best professional football players are the ones that are screamed at the loudest.  Makes me wonder why they don't have a competition at the combine to see which QB can squeal the loudest at teammates.

I had a head coach in high school that would scream til he was red in the face and spit flew all over the team.  We still sucked.  Then I had a coach in college who rarely raised his voice and he holds the NCAA record for most wins at Div-II.

I picture Burrow being like Mr T.  He gonna scream at you, but it's just because he wants you to do the right thing and if you don't he will kill you.  

[Nicomo Cosca]

(05-15-2020, 09:54 AM)SHRacerX Wrote: Dak is overrated.  He has one of the best offensive lines, running back, and stable of WRs in the league.  If he ever goes down, Dalton will show the rest of the league what he can do with those things.  

This again?

Dak has the NFL record for most consecutive passes to start a career without an INT (176). Previously held by some guy named Tom Brady...

He also reached 25 TD’s with the fewest INT’s (4) in NFL history. Are those records all his OL and RB, too? Or is he just a hell of a QB?

I know this is the bash other teams thread, but Andy Dalton is not better than Dak Prescott. He’s just not.

[*Nately120*]

(05-15-2020, 11:40 AM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: This again?

Dak has the NFL record for most consecutive passes to start a career without an INT (176).  Previously held by some guy named Tom Brady...

He also reached 25 TD’s with the fewest INT’s (4) in NFL history. Are those records all his OL and RB, too? Or is he just a hell of a QB?

I know this is the bash other teams thread, but Andy Dalton is not better than Dak Prescott. He’s just not.

Daks numbers are inflated by the pro-Cowboys media. It's all about his supporting cast, especially if Dalton looks good there.   

Also the refs.  The refs make him look good and make us look bad.

[*bengalfan74*]

(05-15-2020, 11:40 AM)Nicomo Cosca Wrote: This again?

Dak has the NFL record for most consecutive passes to start a career without an INT (176).  Previously held by some guy named Tom Brady...

He also reached 25 TD’s with the fewest INT’s (4) in NFL history. Are those records all his OL and RB, too? Or is he just a hell of a QB?

I know this is the bash other teams thread, but Andy Dalton is not better than Dak Prescott. He’s just not.

That's all because of the OC, Dak's just like Burrow. Just watch the OC whenever they're about to throw a pass, the OC uses the jedi mind trick and wills the ball to the right spot.

[GreenCornBengal]

(05-15-2020, 10:34 AM)fredtoast Wrote: So "homer" now means "shit on Andy and Marvin"?

It amazes me how many grown men believe that the best professional football players are the ones that are screamed at the loudest.  Makes me wonder why they don't have a competition at the combine to see which QB can squeal the loudest at teammates.

I had a head coach in high school that would scream til he was red in the face and spit flew all over the team.  We still sucked.  Then I had a coach in college who rarely raised his voice and he holds the NCAA record for most wins at Div-II.

Lol if you are referring to my comment, I wasn’t shitting on Andy. I was shitting on Cowboy fans and their excitement about getting a backup QB, particularly one that has been viewed as a playoff scrub by the mainstream media up until leaving the Bengals.

Cowboy fans always think it’s their year. It’s good that the NFL is expanding the amount of playoff teams because they are a perpetual 8-8 team...

[*bfine32*]

(05-15-2020, 09:42 AM)Nately120 Wrote: One of 99 cent grape flavored cheap gas station ones, too.  Only winners get expensive lit cigars up their butts.

Or Mitch Hedberg's favorite brand of cigar "It's a Boys"

[*Nately120*]

(05-15-2020, 01:23 PM)GreenCornBengal Wrote: Lol if you are referring to my comment, I wasn’t shitting on Andy. I was shitting on Cowboy fans and their excitement about getting a backup QB, particularly one that has been viewed as a playoff scrub by the mainstream media up until leaving the Bengals.

Cowboy fans always think it’s their year. It’s good that the NFL is expanding the amount of playoff teams because they are a perpetual 8-8 team...

Maybe they're excited that Andy will get them the 1st overall pick and they can replace pricey Dak with rookie deal Trevor?  Doesn't matter though, they, like every team that isn't us, missed the Burrow bus and is SOL.

SAD TROMBONE

[GreenCornBengal]

Imagine being a Panthers fan. You just landed a generational talent at RB to pair with your once talented but downtrodden QB and defense.

Aaaand it’s gone. Hey, at least you signed a bound to break QB who did OK with an all pro offense for a few games. Super bowl bound!

[*Nately120*]

Dare I say we even have it better than the Chiefs? Yes, Mahommes is awesome and they just won the SB, but they wasted a year of his career by sitting him behind Alex Smith (or as I call him, Andy Dalton SF version) while we are going to play Burrow right away and not leave a whole year on the table.

Mahommes is going to be paid like a zillion bucks a year while we are getting stuff done with our top-tier QB on his rookie deal a whole year sooner than they did. Also, Andy Reid looks like Wilford Brimley.

[Speedy Thomas]

(05-14-2020, 03:30 PM)Nately120 Wrote: How about the Steelers?  I pity the fool who roots for the Steelers!

Here we are set at QB for what, 10+ years while they are eagerly awaiting the return of a d-bag QB who missed almost all of 2019 with a bum arm who almost certainly is going to show up to training camp looking like a cross between Jamarcus Russel and Peter Jackson.  Also, he's way too much of a whiney me-first jerk to even consider retiring so he's going to be like Brett Favre without the trade demands.  Tomlin isn't going to stand up to Pig Ben, so they're stuck with an over-paid fatso QB who has no arm left.

And their draft?  They used their first pick, which was in the second round, to draft a combine star (underwear Olympics, means nothing unless you are Al Davis) Canadian guy who is never going to crack their WR dept chart and will be catching passes in a deep-ass endzone up north in no time.

On the plus side Mike Tomlin's inability to make even the worst season turn into a boring 8-8 affair will ensure they have no real options for replacing Ben after he has to retire so he can be on My 600lb Life.

Also, I hope the Steelers had their fun beating us while Marvin "Born in Steeler Country" Lewis and Andy "I'm Scurred of the Steelers" Dalton were in town, because they ain't here no more!

Holy shit Nate, shouldn't have read this after my Skyline with 2 beers quarantine lunch, I almost peed myself laughing.

[Speedy Thomas]

Clowns gonna clown.

That is all.

[BengalsRocker]

(05-15-2020, 09:42 AM)Nately120 Wrote: One of 99 cent grape flavored cheap gas station ones, too.  Only winners get expensive lit cigars up their butts.

Cubans are for closers

[BengalsRocker]

Orange president?

Tiger King?

Tiger in zoo gets Kung Flu?

Empty stands for whole NFL?

All signs point to that QB guy who won the NCAA championship Tigers vs Tigers taking our team to Valhalla A.K.A Super Bowl !

Co-inky dink?  I think not.

You people better not be Commie bastard negative Nancies, or I'll kick your asses off my flat earth!!!!!!!!

Cue that Survivor song dammit.