Col. Joseph Lee Burrow

[BengalHawk62]

Dearest Father-
A dispatch from HQ has arrived this morn. We’ve been told to expect an attack from a pack of brownies from the northern waste land soon. Furthermore, they are led by a cook. I do not fathom how this is remotely wise. Our cooks are not issued sidearms.
Fear not Father, our men still has a lot of fight left and are determined to take the initiative against these brownies and their cook.

Your loyal son,

Joseph

[*Awful Llama*]

Dearest son,

This cook from the land of Cleves of which you speak has proven a most worthy adversary to your squadron in days past. His last foray onto your soil left him counting the spoils of victory, as did your venturing to his domicile. Tarry not with your duties, my son, as the black birds from Mary-land and the steel handlers of the Yinzer village draw still closer. Courage and faith, my son, will see you through this conflagration. Remember, pride goeth before the fall, and it is deeds not words that ultimately will win the Northern division of this American conference.

God Speed, Captain!

Your resolute father.

PS: Your sister now has your mother's dysentery.

[GodFather]

Dearest mother —
I have received your care package of spiced raccoon cheeks and flattened snake strips. The Browns inch closer to our camp. Scouts report hearing growls in the distance and have found traces of grits along their trail. Troubling.
— Joseph

[chopperbobby]

Dear overlord

The duck swims softly on the stormy waters. I repeat, the duck swims softly on the stormy waters. The tiger tail is limp, I repeat the tiger tail is limp.

Over

[HarleyDog]

(11-02-2021, 03:38 PM)GodFather Wrote: Dearest mother —
I have received your care package of spiced raccoon cheeks and flattened snake strips. The Browns inch closer to our camp. Scouts report hearing growls in the distance and have found traces of grits along their trail. Troubling.
— Joseph

Dearest Son-
This is the way. You are called to face the feces of the North. Your bloodline will carry you through this battle. You were born from the seeds of many. I love you son. Please stop acting like a vulva.
-Mother

[*Awful Llama*]

(11-02-2021, 08:39 PM)chopperbobby Wrote: Dear overlord

The duck swims softly on the stormy waters.  I repeat, the duck swims softly on the stormy waters.  The tiger tail is limp, I repeat the tiger tail is limp.

Over

We have a message for the people in the occupied zone.  The chair is against the wall and John has a long mustache.  

[GodFather]

(11-02-2021, 08:46 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Dearest Son-
This is the way. You are called to face the feces of the North. Your bloodline will carry you through this battle. You were born from the seeds of many. I love you son. Please stop acting like a vulva.
-Mother

Dearest Mother-
 I have received your care package of salted sparrow knuckles, dried skunk bites and, of course squirrel oil. The unit will begin its march this weekend to confront the feces of the North. I will finally see the brown stain layeth on the field but do not fret...... I will be cautious!


-Joseph

[*Synric*]

ATTN: Joesph Burrow

**** rolls down hill and a large pile will be dropping into Cincinnati around 1:00 PM Sunday. Please flush back up the Ohio River like the Bean Burrito and Bourbon I had for dinner last night.

John Cranley, Mayor