04-18-2022, 02:49 PM
If you've never spent any time reading the onion and their parody style news you truly are missing out. Their latest story on Browns QB Deshaun Watson is a gem.
CLEVELAND, OH—Stressing that the team needed to safeguard their financial interests should their new quarterback miss games, Cleveland Browns officials confirmed Monday that Deshaun Watson’s contract includes a clause voiding his guaranteed money in the event of an injury sustained during a sexual assault. “Like all NFL contracts, Deshaun’s includes language regarding typical club protections, including our right to withhold payments should he miss game time due to hurting himself by engaging in a potentially hazardous activity, like basketball, skydiving, or forcibly abusing someone,” said Browns general manager Andrew Berry, adding that the team didn’t want to be on the hook for Watson’s $230 million salary if he breaks his hand punching a woman. “We’re excited to have a player of Deshaun’s caliber leading our football team, but we also need our players to put the team first, and refrain from participating in any off-the-field activities that carry risks, like riding a motorcycle or restraining a massage therapist.
https://www.theonion.com/deshaun-watson-s-contract-includes-clause-voiding-guara-1848795168
CLEVELAND, OH—Stressing that the team needed to safeguard their financial interests should their new quarterback miss games, Cleveland Browns officials confirmed Monday that Deshaun Watson’s contract includes a clause voiding his guaranteed money in the event of an injury sustained during a sexual assault. “Like all NFL contracts, Deshaun’s includes language regarding typical club protections, including our right to withhold payments should he miss game time due to hurting himself by engaging in a potentially hazardous activity, like basketball, skydiving, or forcibly abusing someone,” said Browns general manager Andrew Berry, adding that the team didn’t want to be on the hook for Watson’s $230 million salary if he breaks his hand punching a woman. “We’re excited to have a player of Deshaun’s caliber leading our football team, but we also need our players to put the team first, and refrain from participating in any off-the-field activities that carry risks, like riding a motorcycle or restraining a massage therapist.
https://www.theonion.com/deshaun-watson-s-contract-includes-clause-voiding-guara-1848795168
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