MY Old Man's Brain Is Deteriorating

[BFritz21]

(06-29-2022, 12:42 AM)Truck_1_0_1_ Wrote: lol yes, that's EXACTLY the same thing as I described. I'm just nicer about it than your dad was

I'm a vast, gargantuan sea of empathy and what you described, I feel and emote all the time.

Trust me

It's NOT the same thing because he was naturally mad on different occasions and then all the sudden changes his mind and it's not because he just realized it wasn't bad.

My family has been saying the same thing as I have.

[Sled21]

Here's the deal. There is nothing wrong with your Father. Brad, and I am not attacking you and am trying to be nice, you post things about your life here, and then get mad at people who give advice, or their take on things, and then say things like "Well if you KNEW me or KNEW my Dad...." Well, we don't. Probably very few people on this board know you. Probably no one knows your Dad. You jumped all over Fred (Dammit man, you're making me defend Fred) for saying you were paralyzed yesterday or the day before. Heck, I thought you WERE paralyzed, hence why you're in a chair. My mistake, but how would I know, I know nothing about your injury? So, my take on this situation, without knowing you or your Dad, is that he is just like any other father during this F'ed up economy, he's worried about the increased cost of living. And, being the father of a disabled child, I can guarantee you, even without knowing him, he is worried about what will happen to you when he's gone. So he's evidently discussed money with you before, then he gets a text out of nowhere that you're buying round after round of drinks at the Country Club. I don't know what club your family belongs to, but I'm guessing drinks there aren't 2 for 1. Personally, I'd be pissed too. And the whole thing about him getting mad, then saying don't worry about it is perfectly normal. Anything ever piss you off then later it's not that important and you feel bad for the way you responded? I do that all the time. Your Dad is not losing it, he's being a Dad. You might give the man a break. And trust me, I've had several family member suffer from dementia. Getting mad at you for blowing money (whether you were or not is irrelevant, he was told you were) is not a symptom of dementia.

[BFritz21]

(06-29-2022, 08:53 AM)Sled21 Wrote: Here's the deal. There is nothing wrong with your Father. Brad, and I am not attacking you and am trying to be nice, you post things about your life here, and then get mad at people who give advice, or their take on things, and then say things like "Well if you KNEW me or KNEW my Dad...." Well, we don't. Probably very few people on this board know you. Probably no one knows your Dad. You jumped all over Fred (Dammit man, you're making me defend Fred) for saying you were paralyzed yesterday or the day before. Heck, I thought you WERE paralyzed, hence why you're in a chair. My mistake, but how would I know, I know nothing about your injury? So, my take on this situation, without knowing you or your Dad, is that he is just like any other father during this F'ed up economy, he's worried about the increased cost of living. And, being the father of a disabled child, I can guarantee you, even without knowing him, he is worried about what will happen to you when he's gone. So he's evidently discussed money with you before, then he gets a text out of nowhere that you're buying round after round of drinks at the Country Club. I don't know what club your family belongs to, but I'm guessing drinks there aren't 2 for 1. Personally, I'd be pissed too. And the whole thing about him getting mad, then saying don't worry about it is perfectly normal. Anything ever piss you off then later it's not that important and you feel bad for the way you responded? I do that all the time. Your Dad is not losing it, he's being a Dad. You might give the man a break. And trust me, I've had several family member suffer from dementia. Getting mad at you for blowing money (whether you were or not is irrelevant, he was told you were) is not a symptom of dementia.

I can't believe you're even trying to defend Fred. I would go before a jury against him about that with no attorney and I would destroy him.

He only said that I was paralyzed because he got caught being an ahole about the vaccine and another member called him out on it (the other member called him an asshole, not me).

Why would you think I'm in a chair? I've always said it was because I have a traumatic brain injury, so why would you think otherwise? If you just saw me out and didn't know my story, I might understand you thinking I'm paralyzed, but why would you think that here when I have never said I was paralyzed?

Like I said, the rest of my family agrees with me and even said that I should start putting it on my brother or sister's account and then my mom would pay them.

My brother is VERY well off and so is my brother-in-law, so there is no risk of me ever running out of money when he's gone.

Even if they weren't well-off, I have a trust fund from a settlement that not many people know about with a lot of money, so I'm taken care of for the rest of my life.

[KillerGoose]

(06-29-2022, 09:07 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: Why would you think I'm in a chair? I've always said it was because I have a traumatic brain injury, so why would you think otherwise? If you just saw me out and didn't know my story, I might understand you thinking I'm paralyzed, but why would you think that here when I have never said I was paralyzed?

Just commenting on this portion. I had mentioned to you in the past that I also thought you were paralyzed. The reason I had thought so was because I had never seen you mention your TBI - I just knew that you were in the chair and you made cripple jokes. That associated to paralysis for me. Now, I know you're not paralyzed, but it's probably the same with Sled and many other posters on here. 

Just for clarification, I know you had mentioned your TBI on these boards, I just never saw it personally. 

[Sled21]

I've never really seen your posts where you went into detail. I knew you had a TBI, but I know a lot of people who have TBI who aren't in a chair, so I just assumed you had other issues as well. There's nothing malicious about that, it's just an association with seeing people in a chair. My apologies. Now if Fred knew it before, that's on him. My point was a lot of people don't know everything about you.....

[BFritz21]

(06-29-2022, 09:44 AM)Sled21 Wrote: I've never really seen your posts where you went into detail. I knew you had a TBI, but I know a lot of people who have TBI who aren't in a chair, so I just assumed you had other issues as well. There's nothing malicious about that, it's just an association with seeing people in a chair. My apologies. Now if Fred knew it before, that's on him. My point was a lot of people don't know everything about you.....

Fair enough but, like I said, Fred did know and he also knew that TBIs cause a weakened immune system, which is why he didn't say "I don't know why anyone who is paralyzed OR has a TBI can get the vaccine."

No need for apologies because I agree that paralysis is an association with being in a wheelchair, but, like I've mentioned before, he saw the video of me running on the treadmill (actually, he even criticized me for it), so he knew I wasn't paralyzed.

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

Brad, you are obviously concerned about your father’s health. I suggest you have an honest discussion with your dad about your concerns. Ask him if your concerns are founded upon a medical condition? Or are you just worrying over a misunderstanding? Hopefully, you’re worried about nothing and your dad knows your concerns. If that is the case, this situation could just be a misunderstanding because text messages don’t always convey our intent. Like sarcasm, the reader may not receive the intended message. If it is a misunderstanding you two can clear the air and put it behind you. Or at least understand what you can or cannot charge that might upset your dad.

If your father does have a medical condition affecting his cognition, I’m sure he could use your understanding and kindness. It may decrease your uncertainty about his health and help you understand if his behavior is different than his norm.

I hope that can help.

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

(06-29-2022, 09:51 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: Fair enough but, like I said, Fred did know and he also knew that TBIs cause a weakened immune system, which is why he didn't say "I don't know why anyone who is paralyzed OR has a TBI can get the vaccine."

No need for apologies because I agree that paralysis is an association with being in a wheelchair, but, like I've mentioned before, he saw the video of me running on the treadmill (actually, he even criticized me for it), so he knew I wasn't paralyzed.

Most people who aren’t in health care aren’t going to know this. Not everyone with a TBI will have a weakened immune system. It will vary case by case depending upon the severity.

You explained it to Fred so he should know now, but he doesn’t have the training or experience to know that sort of stuff.

[BFritz21]

(06-29-2022, 11:38 AM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: Brad, you are obviously concerned about your father’s health. I suggest you have an honest discussion with your dad about your concerns. Ask him if your concerns are founded upon a medical condition? Or are you just worrying over a misunderstanding? Hopefully, you’re worried about nothing and your dad knows your concerns. If that is the case, this situation could just be a misunderstanding because text messages don’t always convey our intent. Like sarcasm, the reader may not receive the intended message. If it is a misunderstanding you two can clear the air and put it behind you. Or at least understand what you can or cannot charge that might upset your dad.

If your father does have a medical condition affecting his cognition, I’m sure he could use your understanding and kindness. It may decrease your uncertainty about his health and help you understand if his behavior is different than his norm.

I hope that can help.

Like I said, my entire family sees it and is dealing with it.

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

(06-30-2022, 01:04 AM)BFritz21 Wrote: Like I said, my entire family sees it and is dealing with it.

Do you know if your dad has had a medical evaluation for what you suspect is dementia? To confirm or deny your worries? To find a potential cause and possible treatment?

I believe you mentioned your dad is diabetic. If it is poorly controlled that could be a cause of what you have observed. There are other possibilities to consider. I don’t think you could go wrong by expressing your concern to your dad. You don’t need to tell him you are worried about dementia. You could just tell him you have noticed he hasn’t been his usual self and you’re concerned because you love him and you want to know if everything is okay and could you help in any way.

I’m only trying to help and I don’t mean to overstep.

[BFritz21]

(06-30-2022, 10:30 AM)oncemoreuntothejimbreech Wrote: Do you know if your dad has had a medical evaluation for what you suspect is dementia? To confirm or deny your worries? To find a potential cause and possible treatment?

I believe you mentioned your dad is diabetic. If it is poorly controlled that could be a cause of what you have observed. There are other possibilities to consider. I don’t think you could go wrong by expressing your concern to your dad. You don’t need to tell him you are worried about dementia. You could just tell him you have noticed he hasn’t been his usual self and you’re concerned because you love him and you want to know if everything is okay and could you help in any way.

I’m only trying to help and I don’t mean to overstep.

You're not overstepping.

He's way too hard-headed and proud to listen to any of us if we brought anything up to him about it.

He has an insulin pump, so his diabetes has been under control for years and he doesn't have the ups and downs in mood swings and emotions like he used to.

Yesterday, he seemed fine and we hung out for a while at the pool and had drinks. He still just seems off, though.

Maybe he's just going through a weird phase.