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Stripper Glitter/Sparkles
#1
For the last few weeks I have been finding tiny specks of glitter on my hands, arms,clothes,desk,various paperwork and mouse pad. The specks are only visible in sunlight or lamp light. I just figured out the source ( not strippers this time ),
it comes off Christmas cards when the envelop is opened. I guess the " sparkles " loosen due to the mail Big Grin handling process. From this point on I will leave cards unopened or open them over a sink. Very concerned about those tiny flakes getting into my eyes or food. Big Grin
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#2
Maybe you're a vampire?

Not the cool "lay waste to towns as an abomination" type but the Twilight "stalks teenagers for decades" kind.
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#3
Just a few hours ago I was joking that it looked like a bunch of strippers ran through the kitchen because the new tree skirt my mom bought was raining glitter all over the floor and then I logon and see this thread. LOL

On a more serious note I hate glitter. Mellow
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#4
(12-19-2015, 02:44 AM)Benton Wrote: Maybe you're a vampire?

Not the cool "lay waste to towns as an abomination" type but the Twilight "stalks teenagers for decades" kind.

I  would only stalk grown women , never been a child predator Wink .

Since you 're well versed  on the subject, could you explain the relationship of vampires to glitter ? That totally lost me. Confused
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#5
Thank you for illuminating me to a new excuse. When I get home from the titty bar covered in glitter I can tell my wife I was opening up Xmas cards.
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#6
(12-19-2015, 02:18 PM)Beaker Wrote: Thank you for illuminating me to a new excuse. When I get home from the titty bar covered in glitter I can tell my wife I was opening up Xmas cards.

You are very welcome, that will work much better than tiger woods' excuses.
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#7
(12-19-2015, 02:18 PM)Beaker Wrote: Thank you for illuminating me to a new excuse. When I get home from the titty bar covered in glitter I can tell my wife I was opening up Xmas cards.

"Yeah well those Xmas cards must be from whores... because you smell like Febrezed snatch !"
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#8
(12-19-2015, 05:50 PM)BengalsRocker Wrote: "Yeah well those Xmas cards must be from whores... because you smell like Febrezed snatch !"
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Hit
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#9
Last time I was at a strip club the girl knocked my glasses off with her boobs and I got some of the glittery lotion in my eye. Took a while to get the glitter from my beard as well...

As for the cards, yeah, I open the envelope and peek in. If there is a ton of glitter I find a way to check for anything on the inside without pulling the card out then I trash it. I don't put up with that shit.
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#10
(12-18-2015, 11:49 PM)Sabretooth Wrote: For the last few weeks I have been finding tiny specks of glitter on my hands, arms,clothes,desk,various paperwork and mouse pad. The specks are only visible in sunlight or lamp light. I just figured out the source ( not strippers this time ),
it comes off Christmas cards when the envelop is opened. I guess the " sparkles " loosen due to the mail Big Grin handling process. From this point on I will leave cards unopened or open them over a sink. Very concerned about those tiny flakes getting into my eyes or food. Big Grin

I used to send christmas cards to people i dont like where the only thing inside was lots and lots of glitter.
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#11
(12-21-2015, 02:31 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: I used to send christmas cards to people i dont like where the only thing inside was lots and lots of glitter.

There is a business predicated on this: http://theglittergrenade.com/
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#12
(12-19-2015, 05:06 AM)Sabretooth Wrote: I  would only stalk grown women , never been a child predator Wink .

Since you 're well versed  on the subject, could you explain the relationship of vampires to glitter ? That totally lost me. Confused

You never had a woman drag you to see the Twilight movies?
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#13
(12-21-2015, 10:01 PM)Benton Wrote: You never had a woman drag you to see the Twilight movies?

Not yet, the women I date are past the  " twilight groupies ".

I did lose a bet and had to spend a day doing whatever she wanted, the worst part was watching the view            ( insipid,horrible, torture ).

Now then back to the vampire + glitter link. Must I watch Twilight to " get it " ?
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#14
(12-22-2015, 04:10 AM)Sabretooth Wrote: Now then back to the vampire + glitter link. Must I watch Twilight to " get it " ?

Pretty much.

I hadn't read the books and didn't know anything about it until my wife wanted to watch the first one. I don't remember much about the movie, but I do remember him being in the forest (or somewhere with trees) and glowing. I turned and asked her why he  was covered in stripper glitter and got punched in the arm.
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#15
(12-21-2015, 02:51 PM)Belsnickel Wrote: There is a business predicated on this: http://theglittergrenade.com/

Saved !

(12-22-2015, 01:08 PM)Benton Wrote: Pretty much.

I hadn't read the books and didn't know anything about it until my wife wanted to watch the first one. I don't remember much about the movie, but I do remember him being in the forest (or somewhere with trees) and glowing. I turned and asked her why he  was covered in stripper glitter and got punched in the arm.

I, at least, got to watch it in the comfort of my own home.

I recall the scene you speak of.
I bellowed "What the f¤€]{ is that sparkling shit ?".
*intense look from gf*
I continued "I wish an Underworld Vampire would devour that douche.".
*no nookie for a week*
LOL
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#16
(12-19-2015, 05:06 AM)Sabretooth Wrote: I  would only stalk grown women , never been a child predator Wink .

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#17
(12-22-2015, 01:36 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: Saved !


I, at least, got to watch it in the comfort of my own home.

I recall the scene you speak of.
I bellowed "What the f¤€]{ is that sparkling shit ?".
*intense look from gf*
I continued "I wish an Underworld Vampire would devour that douche.".
*no nookie for a week*
LOL

About halfway through I gave up on scoring any points and just started asking when he was going to start drinking the blood of the unclean and laying waste to towns. Or something to that effect.
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#18
(12-22-2015, 01:53 PM)Benton Wrote: About halfway through I gave up on scoring any points and just started asking when he was going to start drinking the blood of the unclean and laying waste to towns. Or something to that effect.

My wife likes those books/movies. I watched about 10 minutes and gave up. I'm not a movie snob at all, but the acting was so awful.
You can always trust an dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to look out for.
"Winning makes believers of us all"-Paul Brown
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#19
(12-22-2015, 01:36 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: Saved !


I, at least, got to watch it in the comfort of my own home.

I recall the scene you speak of.
I bellowed "What the f¤€]{ is that sparkling shit ?".
*intense look from gf*
I continued "I wish an Underworld Vampire would devour that douche.".
*no nookie for a week*
LOL

I got roped into watching this because we both picked a favorite vampire movie. I don't even like vampire movies but it was her idea and she choose twilight and for the sake of choosing one I picked 30 days of night. I gutted out twilight, then she was horrified by the violence in 30 days.... She made me watch the other twilight movies. Told me that she only likes beautiful vampires. The look on her face was priceless. Needless to say I was in the dog house for a few days lol
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#20
Vampires suck!
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