more CLEAN funny pictures and jokes

[HarleyDog]

(04-24-2020, 01:11 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: So the better half's boss did an entire kitchen remodel using Lowe's gift cards bought at Kroger.  In the end she essentially had unlimited free gas for a couple of months.  The day her remaining points were set to expire, she told us to go fill up off of her number and invite as many friends as we wanted.  This was because her whole family and everyone else she could think of had already filled up and it was going to otherwise go to waste.  It only took us about 15 minutes to meet at the pump and fill 2 cars, two trucks, and 6 5 gallon gas cans.

Damn that’s pretty clever.

[HarleyDog]

[HarleyDog]

[GreenDragon]

(04-24-2020, 01:11 PM)jfkbengals Wrote: So the better half's boss did an entire kitchen remodel using Lowe's gift cards bought at Kroger.  In the end she essentially had unlimited free gas for a couple of months.  The day her remaining points were set to expire, she told us to go fill up off of her number and invite as many friends as we wanted.  This was because her whole family and everyone else she could think of had already filled up and it was going to otherwise go to waste.  It only took us about 15 minutes to meet at the pump and fill 2 cars, two trucks, and 6 5 gallon gas cans.

NICE!

[SunsetBengal]

,,

[jfkbengals]

(04-25-2020, 10:30 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: ,,

THey need to zoom out so we can see where Jerry Jones is in the line

[Bengalzona]

[sandwedge]

(04-26-2020, 08:19 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

[HarleyDog]

[HarleyDog]

[SunsetBengal]

..

[SunsetBengal]

..

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. .. ....

(get ready)

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

(04-26-2020, 08:19 PM)Bengalzona Wrote:

I bet Rex Ryan is thinkin’, “Hit.”

[Bengalzona]

[Beaker]

A man sits down at a bar. He pulls a tiny piano out of his pocket, then a tiny bench, and finally a tiny man who walks over to the piano and starts playing.

A guy looking on says "that's amazing". The man says yeah, there's a genie out front granting wishes. So the guy runs outside and asks the genie if he's granting wishes. The genie confirms that he is. So the man says "I wish I had a million bucks". All of a sudden, there are a million ducks crossing the street towards him.

The guy comes back in the bar, sits back down disappointed and says "that genie must be hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks, and he gave me a million ducks". The man looks back at him and says "no kidding....do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

[Beaker]

Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.

Q: What's worse than having ants in your pants?
A: Having uncles in your pants.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

[Bengalzona]

[HarleyDog]

[HarleyDog]

[Bengalzona]

Stashing this here for future reference: