Parenting and Lying

[Vas Deferens]

(04-25-2016, 08:26 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote:   Of all of the sexual examples you could have come up with, you go for the hairbrush up the bunghole? 

I thought he was saying he dropped the brush in a full chamber pot and didnt want to buy another one when the other end is perfectly functional.  You dirty dog.

[fredtoast]

(04-25-2016, 08:26 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote:   Of all of the sexual examples you could have come up with, you go for the hairbrush up the bunghole? 

It was just the first example that pooped into my mind.

[Vas Deferens]

(04-25-2016, 09:39 PM)fredtoast Wrote: It was just the first example that pooped into my mind.

It was just the first example that popped out of you.

[StrictlyBiz]

(04-25-2016, 09:19 PM)StLucieBengal Wrote: Mine aren't old enough to have social media but when they do they will be monitored.   

I watch mine as much as I can. Actually almost got into a fight with my brother in law on the subject. He disagrees but took it to the point of calling me a creepy stalker an peeping Tom. The irony is that his kid is struggling with pot right now and he believes that kids are going to do whatever they want to do whether you monitor them or not. While that may be true, you still have to at least try to stay on top of things. 

(04-25-2016, 09:25 PM)Vas Deferens Wrote: I hope the belief that you're monitoring them helps you sleep at night, because they'll be using other avenues you're not even aware exist.  FB is already a smokescreen for most youngins.

 

True, but you have to stay on top of things as best you can. You can't just give them free reign and hope for the best. And Facebook is actually a thing of the past now. Most HS kids don't use it and quit once their parents started getting accounts and it became uncool. 

[StrictlyBiz]

(04-25-2016, 09:39 PM)fredtoast Wrote: It was just the first example that pooped into my mind.

I see what you did there. 

[Rotobeast]

(04-25-2016, 08:26 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote:   Of all of the sexual examples you could have come up with, you go for the hairbrush up the bunghole? 

He worked hard on (heh heh heh) graduating from a Sharpie.

(04-25-2016, 09:17 PM)StLucieBengal Wrote: Exactly....  You and I park our cars in the same garage on this subject.  

Is this the manly equivalent of getting a room ?
   

[StrictlyBiz]

(04-25-2016, 10:29 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: He worked hard on (heh heh heh) graduating from a Sharpie.

Yeah but he's still on the handle end. How long until he flips it over to the bristle side? 

"Kids, those clumps in there are tangled and knotted hair. I swear." 

[StLucieBengal]

(04-25-2016, 09:25 PM)Vas Deferens Wrote: I hope the belief that you're monitoring them helps you sleep at night, because they'll be using other avenues you're not even aware exist.  FB is already a smokescreen for most youngins.

 

Yes how dare I actively parent and look out for their best interests.    I guess maybe I should just quit and let them fall victim to any degenerate out there .... 

[StrictlyBiz]

(04-25-2016, 10:29 PM)Rotobeast Wrote: He worked hard on (heh heh heh) graduating from a Sharpie.

How did this slip by me when I first read it?

[StLucieBengal]

(04-25-2016, 10:01 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote: I watch mine as much as I can. Actually almost got into a fight with my brother in law on the subject. He disagrees but took it to the point of calling me a creepy stalker an peeping Tom. The irony is that his kid is struggling with pot right now and he believes that kids are going to do whatever they want to do whether you monitor them or not. While that may be true, you still have to at least try to stay on top of things. 

True, but you have to stay on top of things as best you can. You can't just give them free reign and hope for the best. And Facebook is actually a thing of the past now. Most HS kids don't use it and quit once their parents started getting accounts and it became uncool. 

You have to watch them now more than ever.... The Internet has made it even more dangerous for children.   

[*bfine32*]

(04-25-2016, 07:18 PM)fredtoast Wrote: I guess that would work for parents who are total loser and their kids don't want to turn out like them.

Be careful not to get suspended again with the personal attacks but:

It could also be used to explain that if you take care of your business early (ie earning enough credit to graduate before your final semester) that you can take some time off to smell the roses.

[Rotobeast]

(04-25-2016, 10:40 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote: How did this slip by me when I first read it?

Bingo !

[Vas Deferens]

(04-25-2016, 10:01 PM)StrictlyBiz Wrote: I watch mine as much as I can. Actually almost got into a fight with my brother in law on the subject. He disagrees but took it to the point of calling me a creepy stalker an peeping Tom. The irony is that his kid is struggling with pot right now and he believes that kids are going to do whatever they want to do whether you monitor them or not. While that may be true, you still have to at least try to stay on top of things. 

True, but you have to stay on top of things as best you can. You can't just give them free reign and hope for the best. And Facebook is actually a thing of the past now. Most HS kids don't use it and quit once their parents started getting accounts and it became uncool. 

Thanks for the FB update, had no idea.  So how do you solve for decentralized social interactions super dad?  Might as well take the Internet away from them and handcuff their future. 

(04-25-2016, 10:39 PM)StLucieBengal Wrote: Yes how dare I actively parent and look out for their best interests.    I guess maybe I should just quit and let them fall victim to any degenerate out there .... 

I know a lot of people whose parents didn't trust them growing up.   Most of them were shitty people who didn't have a real relationship with their kids or the interpersonal skills to have a genuine conversation with them and relied on fables and antiquated bullshit.  One of those kids just got a fees years for chasing the dragon.  I always thought it was more about the parents self evaluation than that of the child tbh. 

You're going to do whatever you want lucie. While I'm certain you love them, I think you should be more open minded and flexible about your parenting style and relationship with them than you are with other aspects of life.  Last thing you want to do is loose a loved one for the sake of pride. 

[xxlt]

Interesting but not too surprising I suppose... The consensus so far seems to be there is not a damn thing wrong with lying to your kids about anything and everything, and as a footnote to assume you certainly should never trust those children you have so diligently deceived. I guess it makes sense for people who are reflexively duplicitous to also be paranoid up to the point of not even trusting their own family. Especially since they have modeled deception and condemn any questioning of its value without reflection.

Cheers to the one prophetic voice out there saying lying always comes back to hurt. Reminds me of Isaiah and the voice crying out in the wilderness.

[fredtoast]

(04-26-2016, 09:21 AM)xxlt Wrote: Interesting but not too surprising I suppose... The consensus so far seems to be there is not a damn thing wrong with lying to your kids about anything and everything, and as a footnote to assume you certainly should never trust those children you have so diligently deceived. I guess it makes sense for people who are reflexively duplicitous to also be paranoid up to the point of not even trusting their own family. Especially since they have modeled deception and condemn any questioning of its value without reflection.

Cheers to the one prophetic voice out there saying lying always comes back to hurt. Reminds me of Isaiah and the voice crying out in the wilderness.

So you never told your kids there was a Santa Clause?

Actually you have no clue what kids lie about and why they do it.  You are just claiming you are correct because you think you are correct.

How old are your kids?  Can you tell me that they have NEVER ever told you a lie?

[Au165]

(04-26-2016, 09:21 AM)xxlt Wrote: Interesting but not too surprising I suppose... The consensus so far seems to be there is not a damn thing wrong with lying to your kids about anything and everything, and as a footnote to assume you certainly should never trust those children you have so diligently deceived. I guess it makes sense for people who are reflexively duplicitous to also be paranoid up to the point of not even trusting their own family. Especially since they have modeled deception and condemn any questioning of its value without reflection.

Cheers to the one prophetic voice out there saying lying always comes back to hurt. Reminds me of Isaiah and the voice crying out in the wilderness.

You can do whatever you want with your own kid, but when your kid starts telling other kids at 5 years old there is no Santa be prepared for your kid to become a social leper. There will be consequences for treating your child like an adult while they are children ,and that could possibly be their inability to relate socially with their peers.

[fredtoast]

(04-26-2016, 11:08 AM)Au165 Wrote: You can do whatever you want with your own kid, but when your kid starts telling other kids at 5 years old there is no Santa be prepared for your kid to become a social leper. There will be consequences for treating your child like an adult while they are children ,and that could possibly be their inability to relate socially with their peers.

I am pretty sure that XXLT does not even have children.  If he did he would understand the concept of "emotional maturity".  Young children are just not emotionally mature enough to understand certain concepts.  A 5 year old child will not be able to understand why sex is a good thing if it makes his mommy scream.

Children lie to their parents for lots of reasons.  There is no way you can claim that if a parent never lies to a child then that child will never tell a lie.  It just is not that simple.

Only a person who never had a 5 year old would claim that you can commmunicate with a 5 year old the same way you can with an adult.

[fredtoast]

(04-26-2016, 09:21 AM)xxlt Wrote:  Reminds me of Isaiah and the voice crying out in the wilderness.

Perfect analogy.

Isaiah cried out that Jerusalem would rule the world, and so far he has been proven wrong.

[StLucieBengal]

(04-26-2016, 12:27 AM)UVas Deferens Wrote: I know a lot of people whose parents didn't trust them growing up.   Most of them were shitty people who didn't have a real relationship with their kids or the interpersonal skills to have a genuine conversation with them and relied on fables and antiquated bullshit.  One of those kids just got a fees years for chasing the dragon.  I always thought it was more about the parents self evaluation than that of the child tbh. 

You're going to do whatever you want lucie. While I'm certain you love them, I think you should be more open minded and flexible about your parenting style and relationship with them than you are with other aspects of life.  Last thing you want to do is loose a loved one for the sake of pride. 

You are drawing a connection between a relationship with your kids being similar to a relationship with a friend.   It's not the same.  And it's not about trust.... Ita about setting a standard.    

Now on self evaluation of parents ....  That's seperate because my parenting plan isn't the same as my personal plan.    You always make sure you are staying on track in any plan.    But the focus is different and takes a different style of self evaluation.   

I am a lot more open minded than you think.   Just because I have access to their stuff doesn't mean I am focusing on it daily.     

kids respect firm parenting.   

[fredtoast]

(04-26-2016, 11:52 AM)StLucieBengal Wrote: kids respect firm parenting.   

But they rebel against oppressive parenting.


Here is my take on it.  Parenting is like coaching.  Different kids respond to different parenting styles, just like different players respond to different types of coaching.  When I was playing sports I was never impressed by a coach screaming his head off like a mad man.  To me that just looked stupid.  But it did work with some other players.

The best parents are like the best coaches.  They can tell what style of parenting/coaching works with each individual.  People are different, and if you think one plan works on them all you won't be very successful at motivating them.