Advice On A Woman

[wolfkaosaun]

So I don't have many friends that would be unbiased about this, since they know the both of us. So I figured I would come to you guys for advice since my life is a joke as is

But anyway. I need advice/help.

So there's this girl I've liked for a bit. We've talked a lot, hung out a few times, all sorts of stuff. So a few weeks ago I asked her out and was straight up with my feelings. She told me she felt the same way but she was already talking to someone else and didn't want to complicate things. And no, she wasn't leading me on or anything. Just never talked about us like at all.

Fast-forward to 2 days ago. Me and her have talked and hung out, but not as much. I even went to hang out with one of her closest friends and she was telling me how she liked the both of us, but that she doesn't want to do anything. But 2 days ago found out she was upset and asked her about it. Long story short, her and the guy are done talking. She's a little upset, of course, and we've talked but not really sure how to go about this. Not sure if I need to bring up the date, if I should back off, keep talking to her, I have no idea what to do in this situation.

So here's my life with this chick in a very short summary. I legitimately like this girl, she has a lot of the qualities I want in someone and even has pushed me a little to pursue my dreams.

[masterpanthera_t]

Based on the fact that she likes you, I would simply hang out with her if I were you and give her a bit of time to get over the other guy. In a couple of weeks or slightly more, she might be ready to move on without him and you can be right there to help her move on with you. In the meantime, you don't necessarily want to push her for a date or anything until she either broaches the subject or you know somehow that she is ready to move on from him. Just do your best to keep her focused on things that make her happy and away from him as much as you can help it. And make sure you two are in touch regularly. Let us know how it goes. Good luck, man!

[SunsetBengal]

Hard for me to say, the whole "dating and relationship" scene is so much different, than when I was an active player. However, my best old school advice would be to give her some space, allow her to get over the ended relationship. Then, after an appropriate amount of time has passed, ask her to spend a weekend together. If she's ready, then you will know if the chemistry is right, and if there is any chance of a serious relationship.

[Tiger Teeth]

I'm no good at advice on women. I've been with the same one for 34 years. Dating was never my strong suit.

[BigPapaKain]

Been there and done that. Missed my shot with the girl. Ended up with my wife and the girl is still one of my best friends (my feelings are more brotherly now).

Let it play out naturally.

[XenoMorph]

(06-17-2016, 03:50 PM)wolfkaosaun Wrote: So I don't have many friends that would be unbiased about this, since they know the both of us. So I figured I would come to you guys for advice since my life is a joke as is  

But anyway. I need advice/help.

So there's this girl I've liked for a bit. We've talked a lot, hung out a few times, all sorts of stuff. So a few weeks ago I asked her out and was straight up with my feelings. She told me she felt the same way but she was already talking to someone else and didn't want to complicate things. And no, she wasn't leading me on or anything. Just never talked about us like at all.

Fast-forward to 2 days ago. Me and her have talked and hung out, but not as much. I even went to hang out with one of her closest friends and she was telling me how she liked the both of us, but that she doesn't want to do anything. But 2 days ago found out she was upset and asked her about it. Long story short, her and the guy are done talking. She's a little upset, of course, and we've talked but not really sure how to go about this. Not sure if I need to bring up the date, if I should back off, keep talking to her, I have no idea what to do in this situation.

So here's my life with this chick in a very short summary. I legitimately like this girl, she has a lot of the qualities I want in someone and even has pushed me a little to pursue my dreams.

With her being upset over the other guy at the moment just let her know you are there for her but I wouldn't get pushy until shes had a little time to get over what ever happened on the other side.     

But you almost lost out so I wouldnt let it go too long before letting her know you would like something more than a friendship.

If shes interested it should work out if not then your better off not persuing someone who is just not that into you.  

Just make sure you don't get stuck in the friend zone.

[BengalHawk62]

Women,
You can't live with them,
you can't live without them,
and you can't burn 'em. 



A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

[Benton]

Sounds like you're in the friend zone. Ask one of her friends out. How she reacts should indicate where you rank.

[BmorePat87]

How long did the thing with the guy last?

[Bengalzona]

Wait on her. She is aware of how you feel. If it is meant to happen, it will happen.

[Rotobeast]

As already said, don't push anything.
Never look over-anxious or remotely desperate.
Tell her you are going to afford her space to get herself worked out, but you are available if she needs anything.
Touch base here and there (every 3-5 days, never more unless she makes the effort or asks) with text or drop a meme on Facebook.
Just never push for time together, let her suggest it.
When you talk, never ask her about her current feelings on the situation.
Talk about fun, spontaneous, and adventurous things.
Take her mind away from the situation.

Things will fall into place, or they were never meant to be.

[*wildcats forever*]

Above all, just be yourself. If you want it to last, it's the true you that she will have to accept. Anything else will betray you in one way or another.

[Nebuchadnezzar]

My advice to you is to leave her alone. I guess you could stay being friends but still, don't ask her out, don't date, just be friends.

The reason I say this is because you are her second choice or her backup plan, and she's still upset over losing the other guy, so you might not even be her backup.

If you're looking for a long term relationship, stay away from this girl. She will jump at the next guy who shows her attention and you will be stuck with her bills.

Just remain friends with her and that's it.

[BengalsRocker]

Just do the Fred thing and send her an "accidental" text.

[Beaker]

(06-17-2016, 03:50 PM)wolfkaosaun Wrote: not really sure how to go about this.

Dick pic...show her what she will be getting. She'll either forget all about the other guy, or go running back to him, but either way, you'll know.

[PDub80]

My resume with the ladies is strong. I know how chicks work and have been charming the pants off of all kinds of them since I was 14 up until I got married a few years ago at 31.

Hard truth: If she was all about you she wouldn't have been talking to the other guy. She would have held off to figure out where your head/heart was at. That's how girls are.

Doesn't mean it won't or can't happen. It just means that patience is a kingly virtue. Have some. Hell, have a lot. And go out with other people! No, not to make her jealous, but to live your life. Talk and hang out with her, but don't put yourself out there to be the 2nd choice. Nobody really wants 2nd choice.... not even her. You'll just be a rebound. Get it?

If you both want it to haplen after some time then let it occur naturally. If not, ask her to go camping and remember that duct tape and some chloroform are available at your local hardware store.

[fredtoast]

(06-17-2016, 11:43 PM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: My advice to you is to leave her alone. I guess you could stay being friends but still, don't ask her out, don't date, just be friends.

The reason I say this is because you are her second choice or her backup plan, and she's still upset over losing the other guy, so you might not even be her backup.

If you're looking for a long term relationship, stay away from this girl. She will jump at the next guy who shows her attention and you will be stuck with her bills.

Just remain friends with her and that's it.

This.

When you tell a woman you are romatically attracted to her and she ignores it and treats you like a friend you are doomed.

[StoneTheCrow]

Swoop in and get the rebound trim. Yesterday.

[*Synric*]

(06-17-2016, 11:43 PM)Nebuchadnezzar Wrote: My advice to you is to leave her alone. I guess you could stay being friends but still, don't ask her out, don't date, just be friends.

The reason I say this is because you are her second choice or her backup plan, and she's still upset over losing the other guy, so you might not even be her backup.

If you're looking for a long term relationship, stay away from this girl. She will jump at the next guy who shows her attention and you will be stuck with her bills.

Just remain friends with her and that's it.

This but there is a way to actually see if it's true. Back out slowly. If the girl cares about you at all she will reach if not you have you're answer.

[EatonFan]

Ask her to do something that you both enjoy. Not a date. Just hanging out. She might open up to you.