What if Vontaze Burfict is gay?

[THE Bigzoman]

I was halfway listening Steeler fans cry and moan about him and they had a guest host on. I forgot his name, but think he was a Ravens fan getting in on the hate Burfict echo chamber.

Anyway, he suggested that ol' Tez might be gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'll probably catch hell for saying this but maybe that explains his inability to control his emotions on the field and his dreadlocks.

I know what you guys are thinking. "But Bigzo, he's married and has a kid".

But look at her. Look at that sexy edumacated little white girl. Look at her. It's like Beauty and the Beast incarnate.

I have a theory. She's from the bible belt and is trying to turn him straight to save that raging, calm soul.


I'll probably get flak for this. but I think i'm on to something big here.

[Vas Deferens]

He's so emotional and has earings I bet. Ummmm. Hellloooo?

[GreenCornBengal]

Micheal Sam shoulda been a stud then.

[*rfaulk34*]

(10-24-2016, 11:55 PM)THE Bigzoman Wrote: I was halfway listening Steeler fans cry and moan about him and they had a guest host on. I forgot his name, but think he was a Ravens fan getting in on the hate Burfict echo chamber.

Anyway, he suggested that ol' Tez might be gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'll probably catch hell for saying this but maybe that explains his inability to control his emotions on the field and his dreadlocks.

I know what you guys are thinking. "But Bigzo, he's married and has a kid".

But look at her. Look at that sexy edumacated little white girl. Look at her. It's like Beauty and the Beast incarnate.

I have a theory. She's from the bible belt and is trying to turn him straight to save that raging, calm soul.


I'll probably get flak for this. but I think i'm on to something big here.

He cut his dreads off. He can't be gay now. 

[oncemoreuntothejimbreech]

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

[xxlt]

What if the OP is gay?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he sure seems pretty intent on identifying gay players.

I probably won't get any flak for pointing this out, but I think I may be on to something here.

[treee]

What if the sky is actually red and not blue?

[xxlt]

(10-26-2016, 11:45 AM)treee Wrote: What if the sky is actually red and not blue?

Now just a gawwwwwwwdam minute! Just who in the hell do you think you are?!

[Vas Deferens]

(10-26-2016, 10:54 AM)xxlt Wrote: What if the OP is gay?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he sure seems pretty intent on identifying gay players.

I probably won't get any flak for pointing this out, but I think I may be on to something here.

classic xx.  always getting all over things in racey threads.

[StrictlyBiz]

You mean he isn't?

[BengalRed]

(10-24-2016, 11:55 PM)THE Bigzoman Wrote: I was halfway listening Steeler fans cry and moan about him and they had a guest host on. I forgot his name, but think he was a Ravens fan getting in on the hate Burfict echo chamber.

Anyway, he suggested that ol' Tez might be gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'll probably catch hell for saying this but maybe that explains his inability to control his emotions on the field and his dreadlocks.

I know what you guys are thinking. "But Bigzo, he's married and has a kid".

But look at her. Look at that sexy edumacated little white girl. Look at her. It's like Beauty and the Beast incarnate.

I have a theory. She's from the bible belt and is trying to turn him straight to save that raging, calm soul.


I'll probably get flak for this. but I think i'm on to something big here.

It's obvious where you are going with this. I didn't realize a silly, non judgmental, innocent question would cause such an uproar in a few overly sensitive people   
 

[fredtoast]

(10-24-2016, 11:55 PM)THE Bigzoman Wrote: But look at her. Look at that sexy edumacated little white girl. Look at her. It's like Beauty and the Beast incarnate.

Brilliant logic.

Every man who marries a sexy educated white girl is obviously gay.

[THE Bigzoman]

(10-26-2016, 10:54 AM)xxlt Wrote: What if the OP is gay?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he sure seems pretty intent on identifying gay players.

I probably won't get any flak for pointing this out, but I think I may be on to something here.

You don't come to this part of the forum very much. This thread was a shitpost; it's parody. It was made in response to a similar thread asking if OBJ was gay and employed the same logic.

[THE Bigzoman]

(10-27-2016, 05:31 PM)fredtoast Wrote: Brilliant logic.

Every man who marries a sexy educated white girl is obviously gay.

Do you EVER have fun? Ever?

[THE Bigzoman]

(10-27-2016, 02:03 PM)BengalRed Wrote: It's obvious where you are going with this. I didn't realize a silly, non judgmental, innocent question would cause such an uproar in a few overly sensitive people   
 

Chill out drone. You made material that I enjoyed satirizing. You didn't work up shit, and I don't think any less of you for creating that thread. You just gave me material.

[xxlt]

(10-27-2016, 08:46 PM)THE Bigzoman Wrote: You don't come to this part of the forum very much. This thread was a shitpost; it's parody. It was made in response to a similar thread asking if OBJ was gay and employed the same logic.

Shitpost? Shitposter? Shityourpants? You don't come to this MB much.

[fredtoast]

(10-27-2016, 08:49 PM)THE Bigzoman Wrote: Do you EVER have fun? Ever?

Funny that a question like this would come from a guy who does nothing but cry, complain, and predict the worst for the Bengals. 

But i guess some people think whining is fun.