Lunch

[xxlt]

So, I'm having lunch yesterday (Monday) and I look over and I see the son of this tightfisted patriarch who founded two football teams in Ohio.

I grab the sports page out of the hand of the old woman next to me. She winks at me and says, "Care to grab anything else, baby?" I say, "No sister, and you can have this back in just a minute."

So, I shove it under you know who's nose and point to the standings in the AFC North and I say, in my best grieving Vito Corleone voice, "Look how you massacred my boys!"

And do you know what he said? He said it is a grudge. He decreed that the fans would not have an online message board and that this season's sandbagging is a direct response to the fans defying his will and gather here at The Bengals Board. He said when we surrender, he will relent and let the team play to its potential. I said, "I think I speak for all Bengals fans when I say you can pry The Bengals Board from our cold dead hands!"

So, if any of you should meet with an untimely death, instruct your heirs to have the police investigate one M. Brown of Indian Hill. One way or another, it seems his wish is to kill us all, either through the torture that is watching this team flounder or through outright murder to avenge our gathering here.

In the mean time, keep posting.

Who Dey!

And now, for a question. Can you guess what the old lady was having for lunch, what Mr. Brown tipped, and my waitress' bra size?

[Southendbengal]

But was it Tuna on Rye?

[xxlt]

(11-29-2016, 08:40 PM)Southendbengal Wrote: But was it Tuna on Rye?

Well, I will say this. The place smelled like a Tuna Boat.

[BigPapaKain]

She wasn't having lunch. Her dementia made her believe it was 6am so she was having grits; anything more solid she can't eat.

Mikey tipped a 3 cents on a $97 bill. He was dumb enough to think it balanced out to an even $100 because 'he really does care'.

Her bra size was 38DDD. She was also in her late 60s and most of that size was from gravity.

[JumboTron]

Was Marlon23 with you by any chance??

[*jason*]

She was enjoying a club sandwich, but her breathe smelled of cigarettes and brandy.

Mr. Brown merely tipped his cap.

Your waitress wasn't wearing a bra. We will never know for sure... Plus I remember hearing that women often don't wear the right bra size.

[hollodero]

(11-29-2016, 08:38 PM)xxlt Wrote: And do you know what he said? He said it is a grudge. He decreed that the fans would not have an online message board and that this season's sandbagging is a direct response to the fans defying his will and gather here at The Bengals Board. He said when we surrender, he will relent and let the team play to its potential. I said, "I think I speak for all Bengals fans when I say you can pry The Bengals Board from our cold dead hands!"

Yeah, about that...
I guess I'm out.
See, that way I get to live and see a better Bengals team, two things I really do appreciate.

(11-29-2016, 08:38 PM)xxlt Wrote: And now, for a question. Can you guess what the old lady was having for lunch, what Mr. Brown tipped, and my waitress' bra size?

OK, educated guesses. You called the old lady sister, therefore she probably is. She also came on to you, so that makes me guess Kentucky? So it could be a KFC bucket she was having - but there would be no waitresses at KFC - so it has to be Cincy Chili, since from what I know that's basically all you people eat. Mr. Brown of course tipped nothing for he is cheap as hell, hence the dining in Kentucky. And the waitresses bra size would be an unspectacular B at most, for otherwise you probably wouldn't have focused on Mr. Brown that much.

[xxlt]

(11-29-2016, 11:20 PM)JumboTron Wrote: Was Marlon23 with you by any chance??

There was a sketchy looking guy in the corner - coulda been him.

[xxlt]

(11-29-2016, 11:37 PM)hollodero Wrote: Yeah, about that...
I guess I'm out.
See, that way I get to live and see a better Bengals team, two things I really do appreciate.


OK, educated guesses. You called the old lady sister, therefore she probably is. She also came on to you, so that makes me guess Kentucky? So it could be a KFC bucket she was having - but there would be no waitresses at KFC - so it has to be Cincy Chili, since from what I know that's basically all you people eat. Mr. Brown of course tipped nothing for he is cheap as hell, hence the dining in Kentucky. And the waitresses bra size would be an unspectacular B at most, for otherwise you probably wouldn't have focused on Mr. Brown that much.

Advance this contestant to the lightning round...

And, btw, 34B is still the most common bra size in the US: they're real, and they're spectacular.

[OrlandoBengal]

See, you gave away the fact that this is fiction as soon as you asked us to guess what tip was given by Mike. We all know that Mike Brown would not leave a tip. Now if you would have said "can you guess how many times Mike Brown reminded the waitress to include his senior citizen discount"... that would have been much more believable!

[xxlt]

(12-01-2016, 11:44 AM)OrlandoBengal Wrote: See, you gave away the fact that this is fiction as soon as you asked us to guess what tip was given by Mike.  We all know that Mike Brown would not leave a tip.  Now if you would have said "can you guess how many times Mike Brown reminded the waitress to include his senior citizen discount"... that would have been much more believable!

Not so, he gave several tips. He told the waitress, among other things, that he highly recommended an Ivy League Law Degree. That is a good tip!

[hollodero]

(12-01-2016, 10:48 AM)xxlt Wrote: Advance this contestant to the lightning round...

And, btw, 34B is still the most common bra size in the US: they're real, and they're spectacular.

Oh so that's why America needs so many B Cup Trucks.


---- So, lightning round, what is it? Can I win something?

[*wildcats forever*]

(11-29-2016, 11:37 PM)hollodero Wrote: Yeah, about that...
I guess I'm out.
See, that way I get to live and see a better Bengals team, two things I really do appreciate.


OK, educated guesses. You called the old lady sister, therefore she probably is. She also came on to you, so that makes me guess Kentucky? So it could be a KFC bucket she was having - but there would be no waitresses at KFC - so it has to be Cincy Chili, since from what I know that's basically all you people eat. Mr. Brown of course tipped nothing for he is cheap as hell, hence the dining in Kentucky. And the waitresses bra size would be an unspectacular B at most, for otherwise you probably wouldn't have focused on Mr. Brown that much.

Hey, my ex-wife (cousin Mary) ain't too happy with yer comments about Ole Caintuckee ...... our food ain't cheap 

[xxlt]

(12-01-2016, 12:18 PM)hollodero Wrote: Oh so that's why America needs so many B Cup Trucks.


---- So, lightning round, what is it? Can I win something?

You may already be a winner!

[*Go Cards*]

She was having as every one else beans and franks with crusted garlic cheese liver which should help explain the smell of the joint.

Tip ? We all know Mike did a dine and dash and who knew he could move so fast when his adrenaline is kicking. Sign him up.

Her bra size was two sizes to small in her push up bra causing them to spill out over the top as a tip conduit.

[hollodero]

(12-01-2016, 01:08 PM)wildcats forever Wrote: Hey, my ex-wife (cousin Mary) ain't too happy with yer comments about Ole Caintuckee ...... our food ain't cheap 

Oh I'm sorry - or as they say in Caintuckee, so so so so sorry.

[Burma]

(11-29-2016, 08:38 PM)xxlt Wrote: So, I'm having lunch yesterday (Monday) and I look over and I see the son of this tightfisted patriarch who founded two football teams in Ohio.

I grab the sports page out of the hand of the old woman next to me. She winks at me and says, "Care to grab anything else, baby?" I say, "No sister, and you can have this back in just a minute."

So, I shove it under you know who's nose and point to the standings in the AFC North and I say, in my best grieving Vito Corleone voice, "Look how you massacred my boys!"

And do you know what he said? He said it is a grudge. He decreed that the fans would not have an online message board and that this season's sandbagging is a direct response to the fans defying his will and gather here at The Bengals Board. He said when we surrender, he will relent and let the team play to its potential. I said, "I think I speak for all Bengals fans when I say you can pry The Bengals Board from our cold dead hands!"

So, if any of you should meet with an untimely death, instruct your heirs to have the police investigate one M. Brown of Indian Hill. One way or another, it seems his wish is to kill us all, either through the torture that is watching this team flounder or through outright murder to avenge our gathering here.

In the mean time, keep posting.

Who Dey!

And now, for a question. Can you guess what the old lady was having for lunch, what Mr. Brown tipped, and my waitress' bra size?

Nothing but lies.  I have it on good authority that Mike does not like to put unnecessary mileage on his Lumina.  He just got historic vehicle plates on it as well as they were more cost effective.  So, NO, he was not out to eat.  According to my source he is enthralled with the app "Grub Hub".  All the unseasoned mash potatos he can eat, just a finger poke away.

[BoomerFan]

This thread has moxy. Moxy I tells ya!

[SunsetBengal]

(12-01-2016, 10:48 AM)xxlt Wrote: Advance this contestant to the lightning round...

And, btw, 34B is still the most common bra size in the US: they're real, and they're spectacular.

Only if she's 4'10" and 88 lbs. 

[xxlt]

(12-02-2016, 08:21 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Only if she's 4'10" and 88 lbs. 

"...women often don't wear the right bra size."

-Jason, post 6