I'm going to become a Daddy!

[BengalHawk62]

The wife just informed me last night we are pregnant!   I just came home from work and was going in for a "How was your day kiss" when she held out her hand.  She was holding a pregnancy test that clearly showed the positive result.  She was crying.  I was crying.  Holy buckets......what a moment.  I can't describe all the feelings I had going thru me.  

So.....do any of you veteran Dads have any advice for this Dad to be?  Any helpful hints or secrets to help get thru the next 8-9 months? 

[Bengalzona]

(02-02-2017, 10:50 AM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: The wife just informed me last night we are pregnant!   I just came home from work and was going in for a "How was your day kiss" when she held out her hand.  She was holding a pregnancy test that clearly showed the positive result.  She was crying.  I was crying.  Holy buckets......what a moment.  I can't describe all the feelings I had going thru me.  

So.....do any of you veteran Dads have any advice for this Dad to be?  Any helpful hints or secrets to help get thru the next 8-9 months? 

Congrats, Hawk!

Becoming a dad is life-changing in a lot of really good ways. You'll see when it happens.

For the next 8 or 9 months, you need to be the calm emotional rock to anchor your wife. She'll be going through some changes and that can cause a woman's emotions to become erratic. Help her out, try to do what she asks without complaining, etc. The first few months after the baby is born can be trying as well, but you won't mind so much because it is a labor of love.

[*Wyche'sWarrior*]

(02-02-2017, 11:25 AM)Bengalzona Wrote: Congrats, Hawk!

Becoming a dad is life-changing in a lot of really good ways. You'll see when it happens.

For the next 8 or 9 months, you need to be the calm emotional rock to anchor your wife. She'll be going through some changes and that can cause a woman's emotions to become erratic. Help her out, try to do what she asks without complaining, etc. The first few months after the baby is born can be trying as well, but you won't mind so much because it is a labor of love.

This is VERY sound advice.

Congrats my man, nothin' like 'em. :andy:

[seahawkscheat]

awesome congrats so if it's a boy mike a girl katie? I am not a father but I have had 2 women say that they were pregnant and I was the father even though I did not even have sex with either one of them I guess I can get a woman pregnant just by looking at them

[Benton]

Congrats. There's nothing better — and at times nothing worse — than being a dad.

For the 8-9 months, realize there will be changes and just try to roll with her roll coaster. Remember she's got a lot going on and try to help out with that. In other words, just be a good husband.

The best advice I can give, though, is for after. There's going to be late nights once the baby is here and a new level of stress. Your wife will also probably be going through more emotional times that can put a lot of strain between you two. Postpartum depression can last more than a few days, it can be months. Just try to roll with it. Enjoy the time, though, and it will get back to normal eventually.

Oh, and don't wait to baby proof the house. I've known a lot of couples that thought they'd get around to that when the baby gets mobile, then they find themselves scrambling around one night when the kid has a bottle of Drano in one hand and garden shears in the other.

[*bengalfan74*]

Congrats !

Savor every moment, take nothing for granted. It goes by so fast.

[*wildcats forever*]

(02-02-2017, 07:31 PM)Benton Wrote: Congrats. There's nothing better — and at times nothing worse — than being a dad.

For the 8-9 months, realize there will be changes and just try to roll with her roll coaster. Remember she's got a lot going on and try to help out with that. In other words, just be a good husband.

The best advice I can give, though, is for after. There's going to be late nights once the baby is here and a new level of stress. Your wife will also probably be going through more emotional times that can put a lot of strain between you two. Postpartum depression can last more than a few days, it can be months. Just try to roll with it. Enjoy the time, though, and it will get back to normal eventually.

Oh, and don't wait to baby proof the house. I've known a lot of couples that thought they'd get around to that when the baby gets mobile, then they find themselves scrambling around one night when the kid has a bottle of Drano in one hand and garden shears in the other.

Doubling down on this. The things your wife will worry about coupled with not enough sleep (for all btw) will tax your senses. Find ways to give her a break as often as possible, extra attention to details that will restore her confidence in how she looks (yes, she will worry about 'snapping back' to her former self), get her some alone time, set up some quality date nights, do household chores so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed with the domestic demands that an infant will create. You get the idea. PLUS do the same for yourself, just to keep as charged and fresh as you can. None of these things need to be so often that it seems forced, but often enough that both of you feel appreciated and enriched by this experience. 

[RICHMONDBENGAL_07]

(02-02-2017, 10:50 AM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: The wife just informed me last night we are pregnant!   I just came home from work and was going in for a "How was your day kiss" when she held out her hand.  She was holding a pregnancy test that clearly showed the positive result.  She was crying.  I was crying.  Holy buckets......what a moment.  I can't describe all the feelings I had going thru me.  

So.....do any of you veteran Dads have any advice for this Dad to be?  Any helpful hints or secrets to help get thru the next 8-9 months? 

Congrats Hawk!

Lots of solid advice in here, all of which would be wise to take.  I will give you one more, but this is more for after the baby arrives.  That is pick a bed time (for the baby) and stick to it no matter what.  It was the best single advice I got from my own mother.  As they grow, they will not fight you when bedtime arrives, it just becomes a fact of life for them and you for that matter.  One less stressful thing for you to worry about, and it gives you and your wife kidfree "you" time.  Trust me you'll look forward to it. :andy:  One other piece of advice, enjoy the times when they're little.  I say this out of regret, I was always looking forward to being able get rid of the next piece of baby gear and getting frustrated at times.   My boy is 16yrs old now, and as much as I enjoy our relationship (I always felt I couldn't wait for him to get older and really connect), I kinda miss when he was little.

Anyway congrats man.

[HarleyDog]

Congrats! Everything everyone else has said x2. The baby is going to bring both joy and stress but will all be worth it. I strongly suggest you be prepared to put yourself last for awhile and make life about the wife and baby. It will demand a lot of strength but even more patience. Hopefully your wife will not be the ticking time bomb (most aren't). However, the dedication you show now will strengthen your marriage for a lifetime. Women never forget the strength of the husband during these times.

I would go to the store and pick up several hallmark cards for the future which read love and friendship. Then you will always have one ready in her down times to lift her up again. Tell her everyday how beautiful she is (she will disagree when she feels blah) and do things without being asked. Talk a lot about the baby and your plans and stay involved.

As for the baby, lock the medicine and gun cabinets and a comfortable crib mattress. Child proof the house and be prepared to enjoy. If you've done everything above for your wife, splitting duties taking care of the baby will be more enjoyable because you will have learned patience, even if you already had it. Again, congrats.

[BengalHawk62]

Thanks guys!  Much appreciated.  The sense of being over whelmed maybe starting already.  We were talking last night about day care.  Talk about getting sticker shock.  I'm in the wrong line of business if that's what they get paid.  That's if we can even find an opening for the little one.  Some day cares have a year long waiting list.  And we haven't even thought of baby proofing the house yet. Where does one even start with that?  

We haven't even told our parents yet.  She wants to wait until we get an ultrasound picture, which isn't until the middle of March.  But I can't keep this a secret for that long!   I hope she's starting to come around with the idea of just telling the folks for now.  The rest of the family will have to wait until that ultrasound picture.

You guys won't mind if I come on here and give updates from time to time or let off a little steam or just try to get ideas from you, will ya?  This place has kind of turned into a retreat of sorts for me.  Its nice to have guys like you around. 

[*wildcats forever*]

(02-03-2017, 10:50 AM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Thanks guys!  Much appreciated.  The sense of being over whelmed maybe starting already.  We were talking last night about day care.  Talk about getting sticker shock.  I'm in the wrong line of business if that's what they get paid.  That's if we can even find an opening for the little one.  Some day cares have a year long waiting list.  And we haven't even thought of baby proofing the house yet.  Where does one even start with that?  

We haven't even told our parents yet.  She wants to wait until we get an ultrasound picture, which isn't until the middle of March.  But I can't keep this a secret for that long!   I hope she's starting to come around with the idea of just telling the folks for now.  The rest of the family will have to wait until that ultrasound picture.

You guys won't mind if I come on here and give updates from time to time or let off a little steam or just try to get ideas from you, will ya?  This place has kind of turned into a retreat of sorts for me.  Its nice to have guys like you around. 

Try thinking like a baby, then imagine worse-case scenario. What attracts things to babies changes as they age, like eye glasses/shiny things that they want to touch, small things on a table that they want to taste. If it's small enough to fit in their mouth, hide it. Kids like to do that at certain ages, all the way up to the day they discover the liquor cabinet. While you might find yourself one day viewing everything from wondering what would my kid do with this, it just might be the one thing that averts disaster. Young humans learn by pushing the envelope, and you are the envelope. Enjoy!

[RICHMONDBENGAL_07]

(02-03-2017, 10:50 AM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Thanks guys!  Much appreciated.  The sense of being over whelmed maybe starting already.  We were talking last night about day care.  Talk about getting sticker shock.  I'm in the wrong line of business if that's what they get paid.  That's if we can even find an opening for the little one.  Some day cares have a year long waiting list.  And we haven't even thought of baby proofing the house yet.  Where does one even start with that?  

We haven't even told our parents yet.  She wants to wait until we get an ultrasound picture, which isn't until the middle of March.  But I can't keep this a secret for that long!   I hope she's starting to come around with the idea of just telling the folks for now.  The rest of the family will have to wait until that ultrasound picture.

You guys won't mind if I come on here and give updates from time to time or let off a little steam or just try to get ideas from you, will ya?  This place has kind of turned into a retreat of sorts for me.  Its nice to have guys like you around. 

Of course not man, I completely understand.  I've always enjoyed your posts hawk and understand the need to get away sometimes.   Good luck with the baby!

[Sabretooth]

Congrats BengalHawk 62 and Wife.
There is a lot of wisdom in this thread and the posters who share such great and positive advice freely makes me proud.
I look forward to updates from you guys.

Many Future Blessings !!!

[CageTheBengal]

Congrats! I don't have much to offer as far as advice goes.

I heard my Mom say that you have to imagine you're the height of the baby when you are looking for things to baby proof.

[HarleyDog]

(02-03-2017, 10:50 AM)BengalHawk62 Wrote: Thanks guys!  Much appreciated.  The sense of being over whelmed maybe starting already.  We were talking last night about day care.  Talk about getting sticker shock.  I'm in the wrong line of business if that's what they get paid.  That's if we can even find an opening for the little one.  Some day cares have a year long waiting list.  And we haven't even thought of baby proofing the house yet.  Where does one even start with that?  

We haven't even told our parents yet.  She wants to wait until we get an ultrasound picture, which isn't until the middle of March.  But I can't keep this a secret for that long!   I hope she's starting to come around with the idea of just telling the folks for now.  The rest of the family will have to wait until that ultrasound picture.

You guys won't mind if I come on here and give updates from time to time or let off a little steam or just try to get ideas from you, will ya?  This place has kind of turned into a retreat of sorts for me.  Its nice to have guys like you around. 

Daycare is very expensive so if possible, would try to find an alternative. Many times family will step in and assist with this. I wouldn't stress too much about this right now as you don't want to overload yourself with stress which turns into fear. Take baby steps (no pun intended-well, maybe a little). Prioritize those things you have to do and just start knocking them out a little here and there.

You can bend our ears here all you want. Most of us care about more important things than football.

[*wildcats forever*]

I imagine you have started searching for daycare alternatives, whether it's timely or not. Social workers/programs, church groups, maybe even volunteering at a local daycare center doing maintenance etc, and of course family help. While being nearly a year away, it is a consideration that goes beyond the costs. It's the quality of care that Baby Bengal Hawk gets that counts too. Maybe a 'Go Fund Me' effort is in the offing ....

I really do hope you keep us in the loop on this. The good, the bad, it's all welcome. I'm also thinking about a message board pool on the birth date. ;-)

[CageTheBengal]

If you can't find a daycare and end up having someone come to your house to babysit I would get cameras! Not just for the worst case scenarios like stealing and abuse but just so you can get an idea of how well the babysitter is doing and caring for your child.

[*jason*]

Just wait til you hear the heartbeat at the doctor's. That feeling will only be topped when the nurse finishes cleaning him or her up, and plops your baby in your arms after its born.

[Cure4CF]

Congrats! Like others have said, there is great advice in this thread. Best of luck!

[rezolve11]

My wife and I found out we were pregnant in December. We're definitely pumped.

Congrats to you!

And even though this thread wasn't for me, great advice!