A bullying fine?

[Vas Deferens]

(05-13-2016, 03:47 PM)Bengalzona Wrote: I hated being that way. I hated that lifestyle. I hated fighting. I hated that I really didn't consider any other options. I turned away from fighting. But it always seemed to come back periodically. And I hated that, when I was trying to avoid fighting, I let a couple of guys go that I should have confronted. I think I hated that most.

This part ***** sucks 'Zona.  Trying to explain to my GF or a friend why someone deserves an ass beating is the hardest thing ever.  They just look at me like I'm crazy, but I know it would be justified.  Very difficult.

Here's mine.

Spent some of my formative years in a distant land.  I was one of a handful of white kids in the entire school and a lot of the population of this area hated white people, not without reason.  Most of the white kids went to a private school further away for a variety of reasons.  My parents weren't about to go that route, they wanted me to deal with and learn from the situation.

For the first couple of years there I spent the AM before school fighting.  They would form a circle around me and throw the youngest guy at me first, I'd fight them for a while, then they's move on to the next guy until I was fighting guys older than me or the bell rang.  It was brutal at first.  I was on the smaller side and ended up getting the piss beat out of me on the reg.  We're not talking about your typical grade school fight.  We're talking about generations of rage and animosity against white people passed down from father to son, concentrated into every punch and kick thrown at me.  Let me put it this way, there was a kid thrown over a third story railing and paralyzed at this school once.  I'd come home all beat up and give my parents a bunch of lies about bruises and bloody noses.  They new I got into fights, but they had no idea what was really happening because I didn't want to tell them.

A couple of things came from this.  First of all, these kids were effectively training me.  I learned some techniques, but over all I concluded it was all about intensity at that point.  Pure animalistic rage was my go-to move.  Never letting up, taking it all way too far.  After a while the daily 'fight your way out of this ring' sessions stopped and they moved on to some other poor kid.  There were constantly one offs and I took lickings, but no one ever came out unscathed, I made sure of that.  When I moved back to cincy, still looking unsuspecting, it only took a few fights for people to realize I had particular set of skills they did not want to deal with.  Never went out looking for a fight, but if anyone ever wanted one, I was right there in their face accepting the offer.  The consequences from school / parents / police were always afterthoughts.  Standing my ground and changing the other persons face / worldview / reputation were always more important.

It also instilled in me an understanding that hating people based on the color of their skin was a spineless POS move.  Not only is it shitty to the other, but I realized that the people back there that acted on those feelings, the dads that used to tell their kids to beat the shit out of white kids; they were all big ***** losers and I'm sure those kids are now as well.  They couldn't better their lives, so they blamed someone else and wanted to take it out on them. Its pathetic.

Unfortunately the short fuse never got replaced with a larger amperage.  Permanent chip on my shoulder.  Its rare these days, but occasionally someone will push me to the point where I know I'm about to dig down into my rage bag and it scares the shit out of me afterwards.  Its usually when I'm drinking, someone does or says something out of place or generally disrespectful to me or the girlfriend, I can feel my eyes go blank.  Luckily I'm cognizant of it and almost always able to remove myself from the situation or have friends that talk sense into me or distract me with shiny objects.  People these days think they want to get into a fight, but most of them don't want the actual consequences.  I sure as hell shouldn't be messing with this moneymaker of a mug and quite honestly am very afraid of civil litigation.  Highly doubt my umbrella policy would cover that.