SCOTUS orders thrice-divorced KY county clerk to issue marriage license

[BmorePat87]

http://www.theonion.com/article/who-kim-davis-51306



Rowan County, KY clerk Kim Davis returned to work Monday after being jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples on religious grounds. Here’s what you need to know about the defiant public servant:

Nickname: Kimmers

Full Name: Not going to be signed for just anybody

Christian Denomination: Apoplectic

Occupation: Still weighing offers from every conservative news outlet and political group

Work Style: Unconstitutional

Primary Goal: Protect sanctity of traditional homophobia

Commitment To Loving Her Neighbor: Court-ordered

Stance On State Regulation Of Short-Term Vacation Rentals: Unstated

Job Security: A lot better than most Americans

Number Of Presidential Candidates Currently Vying For Her Endorsement: Don’t ask

2014 Campaign Promise To Rowan County Voters: Turn unassuming government office into embarrassing international spectacle in less than year’s time

Sneaks In Some Secular Music Now And Then: Despite her better judgment

Last Time You Will Have To Hear About Her: November 8, 2016