Posts: 25,741
Threads: 647
Reputation:
241518
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
I feel sad that someone lost their life, but this story is just funny.
http://empirenews.net/teen-girl-dies-while-masturbating-parents-blame-extremely-large-dildo/
[quote“[Name redacted] knew she wasn’t supposed to use her mother’s big, black double-ender, and we’d never thought she’d sneak into our room and take it,” said Joe. “We didn’t really want to bring it up to her, because it’s embarrassing. I’d give anything to go back in time now, and tell her not to use such a big one. She wasn’t ready for that yet.”][/quote]
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 11,614
Threads: 131
Reputation:
59060
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 12:27 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: I feel sad that someone lost their life, but this story is just funny.
http://empirenews.net/teen-girl-dies-while-masturbating-parents-blame-extremely-large-dildo/
[quote“[Name redacted] knew she wasn’t supposed to use her mother’s big, black double-ender, and we’d never thought she’d sneak into our room and take it,” said Joe. “We didn’t really want to bring it up to her, because it’s embarrassing. I’d give anything to go back in time now, and tell her not to use such a big one. She wasn’t ready for that yet.”]
[/quote]
Surprised you fell for such an obviously fake news story.
Posts: 6,178
Threads: 330
Reputation:
45699
Joined: May 2015
Location: is everything.
9" in circumference? GTFO with that. Dead give away right there.
Posts: 25,741
Threads: 647
Reputation:
241518
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
Surprised you fell for such an obviously fake news story.
[/quote]
I posted it because it was funny, and would be fun to see if anyone on here actually bought it. Congratulations, you ruined a good joke on the 1st post..
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 25,741
Threads: 647
Reputation:
241518
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
(12-18-2015, 12:40 PM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: 9" in circumference? GTFO with that. Dead give away right there.
Which makes a diameter of 2.88"
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 11,614
Threads: 131
Reputation:
59060
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 12:42 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Surprised you fell for such an obviously fake news story.
I posted it because it was funny, and would be fun to see if anyone on here actually bought it. Congratulations, you ruined a good joke on the 1st post..
[/quote]
The old, I was playing along to see if anyone else would fall for it bit. Oldest trick in the book.
Posts: 25,741
Threads: 647
Reputation:
241518
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
(12-18-2015, 12:48 PM)Au165 Wrote: I posted it because it was funny, and would be fun to see if anyone on here actually bought it. Congratulations, you ruined a good joke on the 1st post..
The old, I was playing along to see if anyone else would fall for it bit. Oldest trick in the book.
[/quote]
Pretty sure that those on here, who interact with me on a somewhat regular basis, would have looked at the way I titled the thread and knew it was going to be a spoof.
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 16,395
Threads: 151
Reputation:
61561
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 12:54 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: Pretty sure that those on here, who interact with me on a somewhat regular basis, would have looked at the way I titled the thread and knew it was going to be a spoof.
Do you need some assistance with the quote function?
Posts: 11,614
Threads: 131
Reputation:
59060
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 03:06 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: Do you need some assistance with the quote function?
I think the issue was he had an open ended quote to start, then I quoted him and that left a close tag, then he quoted a quote with an open close tag. It just all spiraled out of control!
Posts: 3,267
Threads: 195
Reputation:
16836
Joined: May 2015
Location: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
(12-18-2015, 12:27 PM)SunsetBengal Wrote: I feel sad that someone lost their life, but this story is just funny.
http://empirenews.net/teen-girl-dies-while-masturbating-parents-blame-extremely-large-dildo/
[quote“[Name redacted] knew she wasn’t supposed to use her mother’s big, black double-ender, and we’d never thought she’d sneak into our room and take it,” said Joe. “We didn’t really want to bring it up to her, because it’s embarrassing. I’d give anything to go back in time now, and tell her not to use such a big one. She wasn’t ready for that yet.”]
[/quote]
Don't worry about these other guys Sunset. I thought it was chuckle worthy. Maybe not, , but most definitely .
Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.
Posts: 641
Threads: 12
Reputation:
5408
Joined: May 2015
Location: Sandston Va
Surprised the " Onion " had no involvement
Posts: 16,395
Threads: 151
Reputation:
61561
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 03:42 PM)Au165 Wrote: I think the issue was he had an open ended quote to start, then I quoted him and that left a close tag, then he quoted a quote with an open close tag. It just all spiraled out of control!
rofl...
If this was a serious article my first question would have been why did his wife have a doubler sider?
Posts: 10,718
Threads: 63
Reputation:
57608
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 12:40 PM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: 9" in circumference? GTFO with that. Dead give away right there.
I know. Nothing is that small, right?
(12-18-2015, 06:04 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: rofl...
If this was a serious article my first question would have been why did his wife have a doubler sider?
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
NOBODY!
Posts: 16,395
Threads: 151
Reputation:
61561
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 06:08 PM)Benton Wrote: I know. Nothing is that small, right?
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
NOBODY!
ive always wanted to smack someone across the face with a dildo so hard it left a shapely bruise.
Posts: 10,718
Threads: 63
Reputation:
57608
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 06:11 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: ive always wanted to smack someone across the face with a dildo so hard it left a shapely bruise.
It's only funny the first five or six times. After that, you're just going through the motions.
Mostly swinging motions.
Posts: 25,741
Threads: 647
Reputation:
241518
Joined: May 2015
Location: Jackson, OH
(12-18-2015, 06:11 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: ive always wanted to smack someone across the face with a dildo so hard it left a shapely bruise.
Good idea, then everyone that they encountered (at least for a few days) would be able to clearly see that they are a ****head..
Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations
-Frank Booth 1/9/23
Posts: 5,844
Threads: 160
Reputation:
20212
Joined: May 2015
Location: Ohio
(12-18-2015, 06:04 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: rofl...
If this was a serious article my first question would have been why did his wife have a doubler sider?
So that she had another, once she wore the one side down ?
I'm just tired of the racism of all the "big ones" being black, in every story.
#WhiteDongsMatter
Posts: 16,866
Threads: 70
Reputation:
58889
Joined: May 2015
Location: Richmond, VA
(12-18-2015, 06:04 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: rofl...
If this was a serious article my first question would have been why did his wife have a doubler sider?
Because she has a front and back side!
Posts: 38,522
Threads: 909
Reputation:
129948
Joined: May 2015
(12-18-2015, 06:11 PM)XenoMorph Wrote: ive always wanted to smack someone across the face with a dildo so hard it left a shapely bruise.
I've done that numerous times using the real thing.
Posts: 4,829
Threads: 107
Reputation:
22659
Joined: May 2015
Location: An undisclosed biological research facility
(12-19-2015, 12:01 PM)bfine32 Wrote: I've done that numerous times using the real thing.
Did your sister get mad?
|