Decided to become a stand up comedian.

[fredtoast]

I have recently written a couple of original jokes.  I now believe it is time a for a career change.  I am going to become a stand up comedian.  Tell me what you think so far.


What do you call a person who doesn't know anything about trees?

A Treetard



I don't have anything against gay guys.  I am just allergic to them.  If I just barely touch one my penis swells up.

[*Go Cards*]

Even though everybody uses it not a big fan of the "tard" being added to words.

Yet would not pelt you with rotten fruits and vegetables if you told them on stage.

[Tiger Teeth]

Maybe you better stick to law.

[BengalHawk62]

Did you hear the joke about paper? 



Nevermind, it's tear-ible. 

[HarleyDog]

(08-20-2018, 10:24 AM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: Maybe you better stick to law.

But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians? 

[Tiger Teeth]

(08-20-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians? 

Oh that's gonna' sting.  

[fredtoast]

(08-20-2018, 10:24 AM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: Maybe you better stick to law.

(08-20-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians? 

As Willy Shakes said.   "All the world's a stage.  .  .  And one man in his time plays many parts".


I can be both a lawyer and a comedian.  In fact I have been told that some of my courtroom performances were "absolute jokes".

[hollodero]

(08-20-2018, 12:47 AM)fredtoast Wrote: What do you call a person who doesn't know anything about trees?

Treegnorant.

So can I be your sidekick?

[Bryan]

Maybe somewsomewhere in the middle of your set you can say "I'm a Bengals fan...(short pause)...that isn't a joke I'm just sad about it."

[SunsetBengal]

And every time that you go to urinate? You can remember that the joke, is in your hand..