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Decided to become a stand up comedian.
#1
I have recently written a couple of original jokes.  I now believe it is time a for a career change.  I am going to become a stand up comedian.  Tell me what you think so far.


What do you call a person who doesn't know anything about trees?

A Treetard



I don't have anything against gay guys.  I am just allergic to them.  If I just barely touch one my penis swells up.
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#2
Even though everybody uses it not a big fan of the "tard" being added to words.

Yet would not pelt you with rotten fruits and vegetables if you told them on stage.
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The water tastes funny when you're far from your home,
yet it's only the thirsty that hunger to roam. 
          Roam the Jungle !
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#3
Maybe you better stick to law.
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#4
Did you hear the joke about paper? 



Nevermind, it's tear-ible. 
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Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female, Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

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#5
(08-20-2018, 10:24 AM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: Maybe you better stick to law.

But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians?  Wink
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#6
(08-20-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians?  Wink

Oh that's gonna' sting.   Hilarious
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#7
(08-20-2018, 10:24 AM)Tiger Teeth Wrote: Maybe you better stick to law.

(08-20-2018, 03:42 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: But isn't the Law just another stage for comedians?  Wink


As Willy Shakes said.   "All the world's a stage.  .  .  And one man in his time plays many parts".


I can be both a lawyer and a comedian.  In fact I have been told that some of my courtroom performances were "absolute jokes".
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#8
(08-20-2018, 12:47 AM)fredtoast Wrote: What do you call a person who doesn't know anything about trees?

Treegnorant.

So can I be your sidekick?
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#9
Maybe somewsomewhere in the middle of your set you can say "I'm a Bengals fan...(short pause)...that isn't a joke I'm just sad about it."

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#10
And every time that you go to urinate? You can remember that the joke, is in your hand.. Cool
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Volson is meh, but I like him, and he has far exceeded my expectations

-Frank Booth 1/9/23
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